to say she's out of order?

[nightowlmostly]

This is probably not a big deal, but having spent the whole of my hour long journey home from work stewing about it I need to vent!

I work night shifts, and tonight one of my colleagues said at the end of our shift that she'd asked another colleague (who I am closer to) for a lift home as it's Sunday morning and her train doesn't start till quite late. Then she invited yet another girl to get a lift with them. I asked how he can give her a lift when he lives in south london and she west, but she says he takes a detour.

Then she goes on, saying that if she had a car then she would give everyone lifts etc. I said that that may be so, but would she not get irritated if other people offered her car like a taxi service to people? Yes, the other girl is on the same route, but the poor guy is only going that way because she asked him to!

I just can't help thinking she's taking the piss even asking him to go out his way. He knows where she lives, shouldn't she wait for a lift to be offered, not ask? Sometimes after a long night shift, people just want to get in their car, put the radio on and go home, not do small talk for another half hour! He's too nice to say no.

So, AIBU?

Yanbu but why doesn't the driver say no?

YANBU - it's one thing to ask (politely) if there is chance of a lift, but rude in the extreme to then tack on another person, or encourage her to ask.

As for her comment on if she had a car it is a nice idea but as you say there could be times wanting just to go straight home, and it is easy to say when there's no chance of having to actually do so. Fine words, but fantasy until she has a car...

I assume she has some travel card so she has mostly saved time by putting him out of his way. You might suggest he ask her on some future Sunday "What's it worth - how much would a cab charge door to door?" if only to see her reaction - he can add -"Running a car is not cheap, and I'd prefer to just go straight home, to be frank."

Unfortunately, unless he has felt sufficiently annoyed a number of times, he's unlikely to do anything that may make work situation "tense", but if I were you, I might say that you had been critical and see how he responds - might be mortified you questioned it, or confide that he is annoyed too, but for harmony just bit his lip.

I am a bit unsure if I've made a slightly uncomfortable situation at work, if she took offence. I did basically tell her that if I were him I'd be irritated with what she's done.

But again, it is really nothing to do with me so maybe I should have kept out of it. It's just annoying to see a friend getting taken advantage of! Might ask him how far out of his way it is, see what he thinks about it. It's just hard to say no to people, like you said, may make a bad atmosphere.

Anyway, thanks for making me feel better, just wanted to see if I was BU!

It is really annoying to see a good friend being taken advantage of but you are right, it is nothing to do with you. If He does not want to give people lifts he needs to say so.