More of a WWYD really...

[JustaNickname]

So I was in tesco with my ds (4 next week) and my ex's brothers partner was in there at the same time (I don't know if I should call her my ex's SIL as there not married?) anyways she's 8 months pregnant and tbh I never got on with her. Actually I don't know if thats right because we've never actually spoken. I was with my Ex for over 5 years and she has been with his brother just over a year now. Anytime we were in the same company she would completely ignore me even if I said hello which I just gave up doing in the end. Everyone used to tell me she was just shy but in the end I stopped listening to excuses and realized she wasn't shy just extremely ignorant.

When in Tesco I didn't actually realize that she was there until my ds said 'Thats so and so' I replied with a 'oh is it' and we carried on with our shopping nothing more to it. That evening while talking to my ex over the phone he comments that so and so had seen us in tesco and that my ds had shouted her name excitedly and went to run over to her when I grabbed his arm, yanked him back and said 'Stay away from her, where going this way!' and dragged him away in a state.

I'm at a total loss at what to do. I know I should ignore it but I feel quite angry at the fact she has gone and told my ds's grandparents, uncles and aunts that I treated my son this way. I feel she has made me out to be a bad mother and a petty person. I just don't understand! So WWYD?

I would completely ignore it, tbh. You would just be feeding irrelevant drama otherwise.

ignore it

Nothing you can do. She may have interpreted things wrong and exaggerated what she thinks she saw which your ex has exaggerated further, but all could be done with no vindictive motive so just ignore.
The baby she is carrying will be your DS's cousin, she is effectively DS's aunt so if you see her again make a point of at least saying hello. You don't have to like her to be civil for DS's sake.

TBH, I'd feel I have to set the record straight. What did your ex say? Could you just ask him to mention it to the grandparents. I know "ignore it" is good advice, on the other hand it's not ok for her to go round spouting rubbish about you.

Thankfully my ex knew that her version of events couldn't have been true, he knows me well enough by now and I think he only told me as he didn't like the thought of her lying behind my back.

His brother has never liked me though (even more so when I fell pregnant with ds) so maybe he has told her nasty things about me I'm not completely sure though. I do believe however that what she said wasn't exaggerating my my ex and that she didn't pick things up wrong. It was an out right lie. Since ds was born my ex's brother has accused me more times then I can count of ds not being my ex's child which is completely ridiculous. He was delighted when we split and things were very bad between us since we split in October. We only spoke civilly with regards to ds but since late February or so things have been much better and we speak nearly everyday as friends now as well as regards to ds.

I think my ex's brother and his partner think were getting back together and have tried to cause trouble. Ex also thinks this as his brother is just horrible. He said he would tell his parents (ds's grandparents) what had actually happened and set the record straight.

It's good that your ex trusts you. Don't get pulled into slagging her off though as ex's brother will always be a part of your DS's life. Giving her the benefit of the doubt openly makes you the good guy, even if you believe she is a lying bitch!!!

I wouldn't confront her about it or anything, but I would make sure my ex knew my side of the story and I would be frank about it if anyone asked, in a "rolling my eyes and saying, 'Don't get me started about that!'" kind of way.

As you and your ex have split up, she probably thinks him and his family hate you and that, by talking negatively about you behind your back, she is scoring points. Or she's just strange/confused. Either way, you're better than that and you know and your ex know that you're a good mum and wouldn't treat your son the way she implied you did.

Really good to hear that you and the ex are on good terms now. And good that he'll mention it to the gp's, that's enough I think.

What an idiot of a brother he has though, be thankful you don't actually have to see them. And if you don't see them, there's not much more they can say really. It's none of their goddamn business whether you get back together or not, what sad shit stirring people. I find people like that normally do enough damage to land themselves in it to be honest, you just have to sit back and wait for them to dig their own grave.

Thanks I think i already knew that having my ex know the truth was enough I just needed some MN perspective :) Still pretty pissed off at the lies though :(

Some people lie. That's their problem, don't make it yours. I have a SIL who is completely crazy. I just treat her as a small child and find I don't get angry with her craziness.