more of a what would you do really re: party invite

[reikizen]

DD1 (7) received a party invite today to a party (tomorrow) for a girl she has never even mentioned. It starts at their house and then the parents are taking them to a soft play area nearby. DD1 doesn't really want to go and I feel uncomfortable sending her off with complete and utter strangers. I've said she won't be coming but I just wondered what the feeling was re: kids going off to houses of friends you don't know from Adam?

if you don't want her to go - it's very short notice so it's quite acceptable to say you've already got plans

You have an ideal cop out here (imo). Is there a contact number on the invitation?
I would be inclined to ring or text, first of all to say thank you very much for the kind invitation. Unfortunately you already have a family commitment but you would like to wish the birthday girl a lovely party. :)
No need to worry any more.
I can't comment re friends you don't know as dd (7) attends a small school and I feel that I know all of the parents well enough to accept invitations of this nature.

Why on earth wouldn't you want her to go to a party? Do you only let her go to the parties of children whose parents you know? How does that wotk?

That's sort of what I'm asking really. I do only let her go to people's houses who I know (at least by sight!). Is that odd? I just feel uncomfortable sending her off with utter strangers, they could be nutters!! Or am I a nutter for thinking that??

DD is only small so haven't come up against this yet, but I don't think I would be that happy to drop her off at a house if I didn't know the people I was entrusting her care to at all. Would at least want to go in and have a quick chat. I guess it depends on the circs bit I don't YABU to at least think twice.

I think it's fine if they are the parents of a girl in her class, if all the other children are going too. I would drop off at their home, hang around for ten minutes to get the lie of the land and then leave. I can't see how it's more dodgy than dropping them at a play-centre or a village hall. At seven, this would be fine for me (I also drop my 5 year old and run, but again, tend to check about a bit first and have been known to stay to 'help' on one occasion when it all seemed a bit chaotic and I wasn't sure there was anyone on the door stopping children escaping!)

Is the girl from school? You could try and have a word with the mum/dad in the playground maybe.

I would be cautious also.

This seems to be a bit of a non issue this time round as your dd doesn't actually want to go anyway. But generally speaking I wouldn't stop my children going to a party if I didn't know the parents.

But if she doesn't want to go, then there's an end to it, AFAIC.

If she doesnt want to go, then fair enough. But what if she had wanted to go? Would you demand a CRB check on the parents first?

Your child is 7, and providing she has been told what to do if anyone acts inappropriately towards her, then you cannot worry that everyone around may be a paedophile, if that is your concern.

I know, I was just checking whether my moral compass was out of whack with general opinion I don't want to be overprotective but I don't want to be careless either!

BTW, no other children I know are going either.

Dd is going to be 7 soon and I wouldn't have a problem with this - although I know everyone in her class and their parents, at least to say hello to, so I can't be 100% sure. And it's also hard to imagine anyone having a birthday party with 1 day's notice.

However if your dd doesn't want to go there's no issue is there? If she was very keen perhaps you'd feel differently.

[tries to imagine a 13 year old's reaction if her mother insists on staying with ehr at a pool party. Fails]

My 8 year old DS has just been at a party, no idea whos and never met the parents, it was in their house. I work so I got my brother to walk him their and pick him up, he loved it, of course if he didnt want to go then that would be that.

I had no worries whatsoever, dont really get all the worry tbh. The 1 day notice seems a bit odd mind you, but if it was my DS I would just assume he hadnt gave me the invite on time lol.

can you take to soft play yourself

or alternatively ask about the travel arrangements.

or does she REALLY not want to go?

YANBU. Short notice = very easy to say you have other plans. If DD doesn't fancy it, then don't send her. I would do what you did at that age.

Chill

I feel sorry for the girl having the party.

If she doesn't want to go then there's no issue as others say.

Mostly I know the people party invites come from (because they are at school and I know everyone in their years). But recently DD went to a rock-climbing party of a Cubs friend - I had literally had one very brief chat with the mum and just knew her name.

It was fine tho - DD was keen to go, how sweet of the girl to invite DD (She goes to another school but there are only a few girls at Cubs) and AFAIK the parents aren't axe-murderers