To worry about my daughter wearing contact lenses aged 14?

[cymruoddicatref]

I really struggle with this. Her dad gave in and took her to a high st optician and she now wears daily disposable lenses. It is supposed to be limited to 10 hours a day 2 to 3 days a week (minus 5 prescription), but already it is creeping up, and is a source of daily argument. The optician response is to try and sell me even more expensive lenses that "let in more oxygen" but I think a better response is not to wear them so often. I have bought her some lovely "designer" glasses with thin lenses, but the contacts still keep winning the day. She has friends who won't leave the house in glasses, so I am competing with strong peer pressure. Leaving (astronomical) cost aside for a moment, I and several of my friends found that long term (ie 10 plus years) of wearing lenses left us unable to wear lenses at all, because of high levels of discomfort - (although lenses in my day were not disposable, and I kept the same pair at university for a horrifying 3 years.) But anyway, I feel this is fairly uncharted territory, as nobody alive has worn lenses for more than say 40 years... My latest tactic is to withdraw funding, but I would like an objective view of the long term risks, that I could present to her - not scaremongering.

Hi I'm an optician.

I'd be quite happy for my dd to wear contact lenses and if she becomes shortsighted, as she is very sporty I'll give her them for normal daily wear with spectacles as a backup.She is only 9 but if she needed and wanted them now I'd fit them as long as she was responsible enough (which she is).

The new contact lenses are so much better.Mostly when you look at the eyes nowadays under the microscope there is no perceivable difference in the eye which has been wearing a contact lens to one which has not and this is our aim as practitioners.

Now, I would go for the better contact lenses, as they really are better, and if she is going to be in contact lenses longterm she needs to be getting the maximum oxygen and these lenses are also more comfortable.I wouldn't see any problem with her wearing these contact lenses on a daily basis .I also don't see any reason why she would have to stop wearing lenses, as per your friends' experiences, unless she was not wearing the correct lenses for her eyes and not having regular aftercare checks.Where we get problems are people doing these two things.

I'm very shortsighted and used to wear hard gas permeable contact lenses (full time since age 15), but as I'm getting older and spectacles are much more fashionable now, am quite happy wearing my spectacles with soft contact lenses socially and for sport.My eyes are a bit dry now and I find the better (more expensive!) daily contact lenses so much more comfortable, so wear these.My eyes are fine though,no ill effects from contact lens wear.

I wouldn't fight with your dd over this.Just make sure she is wearing the best daily contact lenses and has regular checkups and her eyes will be fine.Perhaps get her to contribute to the monthly cost via some regular household chores.

Socially,peer pressure at this age is important and I really feel contact lenses are important for this age group.

YABU btw, as there aren't long term risks, as long as she does the above.

The risks of daily soft contact lenses are really very small and you will find most opticians wear or have worn them at some point, so that means we are quite happy with safety.

The problem comes when people don't wear the right contact lenses ( such as wearing a monthly change lens for 4 years as they didn't really see why they needed to change it and it is cheaper not to!) and don't have regular aftercare with upgrading of their lenses to newer generation ones if they are advised to by their optician.

Let her wear her contact lenses :)

My problem with lenses is that I developed blephritis (which makes your eyes prone to redness and lumps around the rim) and that stopped me wearing lenses, but wasn't due to them. I was gutted, I wore lenses (gas permeable) from aged 17 to about 37, and am now more or less permanently in glasses. I would give anything to go back and be in lenses all the time, so I would let her wear them, but agree a deal like Sundays and two week nights off to give them a rest.

I have severe short-sightedness, so laser surgery isn't currently an option (plus an utter coward). One option I have considered is lens replacement operations (like a cataract op but on your rubbish lens) which my optician thinks might be better for me than laser surgery.

I also haven't found any dailies for my prescription that can cope with the severe astigmatism, which is a bit depressing. It seems to be gas permeables (which are hard to swop in and out of) or nothing.

But if I was 14 again, it would be lenses all the way!!!

My DH has worn hard lenses since he was about 12. He's got very odd eyes, so he can only get good vision with hard lenses as he needs them to flatten his corneas. He was given some glasses about 18 months ago as the opthamolagist thought should have an alternative. But with those he can still barely see, and they are the thickness of about 5 jam jar bottoms!!!

I was supposed to wear glasses from about the age of 7, but refused completely till I was 18, and even now I'll only wear them at home / when I'm driving. I'm too lazy to deal with lenses, but I completely understand why your DD doesn't want to wear specs.

I wore hard lenses (gas permeable) from age 15 to 35 and had no problems with my eyes. I agree with EasterChocolate that peer pressure is a big deal at her age so let her wear lenses but put on some conditions. Make sure she's practising good hygiene and having regular check ups at the optician (once a year) to reduce the chance of her having problems with her eyes. Also make sure she's not wearing the lenses for longer than specified and if she is then consider different lenses.

Give it a couple of years and she'll be back in glasses. I know loads of 18-20 year olds who wear fabulous glasses instead of lenses.

I know you're concerned but you're creating huge conflict over nothing. You're forcing her to wear glasses without researching the risks. My sister wore lenses for 25 years without a problem and has now had laser surgery. My best friend at school became a much happier more confident person the day she got contacts and still describes it as the day her life began. Just because you didn't look after your lenses properly or used day and night ones- really, does that sound like something that would be good for eyes- you're punishing her?

i wore my lenses from age 13 to about 18 constantly. i couldn't have coped without them. just wear them when im going out now. as long as she looks after them then i don't see a problem.

Google ortho k lenses and no7 contact lenses (who manufacture them) they are fab. I wear them and have done for at least 7 years. You wear them at night and they change the shape of your cornea (think the imprint when you take socks off) and in the morning you take them out and voila perfick eyesight all day. No dry eyes and no worries bout overwearing.
They are made out of the highest oxygen letter inner material even though you're asleep anyway but I think they're fab. You do have to wear them everynight for the effect to last but no daytime lens worries. I know I sound like an advert but I love my lenses and wouldn't be without them. Hate glasses.

Lessnarky - I'm not unreasonable really - I've battled with the consequences of rubbish sight all my life - e.g. I've never been allowed to drive a car because of optic atrophy (nothing to do with contacts) - mild, thank goodness, but untreatable all the same - and had a semi-detached retina in my 20s that had to be stitched back on at moorfields (again unrelated to contacts) - can't have corrective surgery for short sight, or at least if I did, it would be a complete waste of time, as I would cure the lens issues (minus 8) but still be stuck with the rubbish optic nerve, and i can't wear contact lenses any more because they are uncomfortable.... I know I am a bit irrationally worried about lenses for my daughter - that's why I wanted feedback - it's helpful to hear so many positive stories - now when I talk to the optician, I will be less likely to just assume the worst and more likely to come at it with a sensible head on. Thanks mums netters...!

Hey I know you've already heard a lot of good advice... I started wearing contacts aged 13 and I have to say, I don't think I would have survived my teenage years without them! They were great. Now I wear glasses and contacts, as being mid late twenties and married I am much more comfortable in my own skin, but 13-20 contacts were my lifeline!

I started wearing contacts when I was 12. I've worn gas permeable ones since then as I have astigmatism as well as being short sighted. When I was 17 I had dreadful problems with them, but it was purely because I didn't clean them properly. (Basically constant conjunctivitis leading to permanent damage but all very scary including having to have a CT scan to check it all out.) Now I clean them properly I don't have any problems. I can keep them for 4 or 5 years (checked by my optician that they are ok obviously) and wear them from when I get up to when I go to sleep (14+ hours).

That problem doesn't exist with daily disposables. If you are worried about the cost, get them online. My DH gets his prescription for daily disposables from his optician and then shops around. He now pays about 50% of what his optician charges for the same actual lenses.

I would not want my DC to wear gas permeables, because I think it is far too much responsiblity to clean them properly and you have to be much more careful with them. They are expensive and get lost easily. I would be happy to let either of them wear daily disposables. Glasses are the work of the devil.

I had them at 12 but was too young to be bothered with the faff (back then, no disposables so they had to scrupuslously cleaned every day). Besides, glasses were part of "me" and my identity as I'd worn them since the age of 5, so wasn't bothered about them at all (am still not- although I may consider them at some point...). Again, it was my father who insisted that I have them. I think he did it for kind reasons but I really wasn't bothered. If your daughter is bothered by glasses, I see no reason to worry about them- emphasize the hygiene aspects and leave the rest to her. As a mother of teens I can see that peer group pressure is immense but she has to make her own mind up about it.

What I would do is just tell that she is beautiful no matter what and leave it up to her.

PS: I found I couldn't wear contacts for a long time after getting a piece of grit caught under my gas-permeables in the underground about 20 years ago. My eyes (one in particular) swell up instantly and go puffy whenever I tried for years. Last time I wore them was on my wedding day 17 years ago.

I've been wearing contacts since I was 13 (I'm 40 this year) and back then it was highly unusual for a young teenager to wear them.

I think if she splits her time between glasses and contacts she'll be fine.

I wear the monthly disposable lenses which were a godsend. I had problems (of my own making) wearing daily disposables (not changing them, changing with dirty hands, forgetting to remove them after a night out etc).

The monthly ones allow me to 'forget' about them until the start of the next month. They also allow a bit of 'wriggle room' if for whatever reason I cannot change them exactly after a month (if I am away and can't get back for a couple of weeks for eg).

Maybe monthly lenses would be a better idea for your DD. Less faffing about and TBH it is a joy being able to 'see' first thing in the morning!

(oh, and I've been wearing lenses since 1993 and monthlies since 1999 with no problems at all)

Just another poster saying how much I love my lenses. Have worn them for 20 years. Currently wearing monthly disposables ( at the opticians example of someone wearing the same pair of monthlies for 4 years!)

My mum was a worrier - about eye health and expense, and I remember it being a bit tense when I first started wearing them at 16.

I wish there had been MN around in those days to reassure her and tell her don't battle with your daughter over this!

I think YABU. I woud expect a 14 year old to want to wear lenses instead of specs.

Why is she limited to 10 hour a day? Is this common nowadays? I have never known anyone to limit time and I have never known anyone who is now no longer able to wear lenses.

And it sound slike your optician is just trying to make more money but then I'm always a bit cynical that way.

ah, there's an informed post from Easter

I have worn hard/gas permeable lenses since I was 16 and I am now 49 just over 40. So that's over 30yrs and I have no intention of giving them up - so I may soon be wearing them for more than 40 yrs OP! I have regular check ups and my eyes are very healthy. I have even been advised to stick with RGP lenses rather than soft as I have an astigmatism and have no problems.

My son who is 13 is also short sighted with astigmatism and currently has some soft lenses on trial. He plays rugby and was finding it increasingly difficult to see the ball!

I would support your daughter to make sure she maintains a good hygiene regime with the lenses and that she has regular checks, but from a self confidence and practical point of view, let her keep her lenses.

i,m 33 and have been wearing lenses everyday since i was 16, i now wear monthlys where i leave them in for a month, including sleeping in them. i can see where she is coming from as i hate wearing glasses, even trendy ones! I dont mind for daytime some times, but absolutly not for a night out. I do have the more expensive ones though which cost £26 a month, i,ve tried cheaper and could not wear them for even an hour. if you are worried i would suggest getting here to take them out after school or having a sunday off.

Tell her that her eyeballs will explode if she doesn't stick to the rules.
They won't but they'll feel like it if she gets ulcerated.

Cymru FWIW, NHS style glasses are super trendy now, far more so than Gok Wan style 'designer' glasses.

My dad has worn lenses, day in, day out since the early seventies, has never had a problem, I think he's now just a little bitter that he's to old to get them lasered...

I just wish he'd taught me how to be as careful with mine. Luckily nothing bad happened, but I used to be ridiculous for sleeping in them, forgetting to change them, losing them and then just wearing one and squinting a bit with the other eye... Making sure she's taking care of them, rather than how much she's wearing them, is the important thing, IME. In time, it could be one of those small things that could teach her a little bit about independence and responsibility. Dream big, tiny lenses...

I am really forgetful too and I?ve found the perfect solution ? Biofinity lenses, especially designed so the eye can breathe better. You can take a nap in them or even have them on overnight. You can buy those contact lenses online at affordable prices. Always a good idea for a 13-year-old;)

I think risks are really low if she is wearing daily disposables. I have worn monthly disposables for years, but always use a peroxide cleaner as I get the impression that is safer.

Remind her that she should never swim in contact lenses, unless she has goggles with a really tight seal that will not let pool water in.

I have worn lenses since I was 13. 26 now, so half my life!

However, I have always been very 'sensible' with them (cleaning, storing, not wearing for too long, glasses for so many days per week/month etc), whereas I know that not all kids that age are like I was.

So yeah, it depends if she's a careful 13?