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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be wary, on behalf of other mums, of DH taking DD & her friends swimming.

38 replies

QueeferSutherland · 24/03/2011 22:00

DD wants to go to a swimming flume type place for her bday. (Not sure of the correct name for them. Flume park?)

Anyhoo, it would be easier if DH took them for a number of reasons.

He says the other mums might be funny with him taking 4 girls swimming.

I say not.

MN jury, what say you?

OP posts:
thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 06:12

I think I would not have a problem with it but there are mums who might.
I am also not sure about the child supervision thingy and you really have to check to see what the pool says.

Then, assuming that the pool is ok with 1 adult: 4 children, you just tell each mother when you invite their DD that it will be your DH who is taking them (with no additional comment - just "oh DH is taking DD and her friends because I can't manage it"). If any of them have an issue with it, they don't even have to say so - they can just offer their services to help. Covers all bases (but they'll obviously have to drive themselves there).

BristolJim · 25/03/2011 06:19

3) DH knows the way to said splashy-fun emporium.

Heh, you women!

Can't you just give them DH's mobile number so they can contact him in case of emergency? That way they'll know he is in sole charge and if any of them are fruitloop enough to object, the ball is in your court.

BristolJim · 25/03/2011 06:20

Their court.

Not your court.

The ball in this case being metaphorical.

Ahem.

goingroundthebend4 · 25/03/2011 06:31

would he like to take dd age 8 swimming with them please. I would have no qualms about it .Dd has been back to tea with friends with friends dad who is a stay at homedad .

FreudianSlippery · 25/03/2011 06:32

As the DCs are 9 they really should not have a problem, because they are old enough to change on their own and meet your DH poolside.

I guess they'd be more likely to worry if the girls were say 5 and still needed help getting changed/washed etc.

I don't think you should make a big deal of this by overtly asking if they are uncomfortable. Maybe just say "for DD's birthday, DH is going to take them all to SplashyFunPark, would your DD like to come too?"

If they instantly pick up that it's DH and not you, then you can discuss further, but I expect they wouldn't bat an eyelid.

onceamai · 25/03/2011 06:56

Issue invitations clearly stating that DH is in sole charge. If any of them have a problem let them make a complete arse of themself. Hope dd enjoys her birthday and they all have a great time. This isn't an issue and I pity the poor girl whose mother thinks it is.

onceamai · 25/03/2011 06:58

Oh - final point. You and dd are really lucky to have a dh who is prepared to do this. Mine would spend the car journey going shhhh and the pool time going shhh and the chocolate time going shh.

gorionine · 25/03/2011 07:07

Is the question about reasonable for him to take four girls to the swimming pool or ist it reasonamble for him to take 4

girls to the swimming pool?

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 25/03/2011 07:22

I wouldn't make a big deal of it, I'd just send out the invites saying something like 'DH is taking them, this is his mobile number - please text him with your contact number'.

It's clear - it makes it about contact not a man taking 4 girls. For their own reasons one of the parents might not be comfortable with it, but that has to be their issue to deal with - either they decline the invite or they will say they will accompany their DD.

I wouldn't have any problem with it.

Original poster
QueeferSutherland · 25/03/2011 08:08

Right, giving out his mobile number is a Good Idea.

The girls are sensible, but en masse 9yo girls do tend to get a little, um, squealy ime. There are family changing rooms.

DH is thinking about cutting numbers or enroling his dsis to help.

Jim, points 1 & 4 are more relevant. I can navigate myself to the next county despite being a woman , ithankyew.

OP posts:
welshbyrd · 25/03/2011 08:15

Id have no problems with dad taking my DD swimming

Honeybee79 · 25/03/2011 08:17

I wouldn't mind at all. Wise to check with the other parents though as I imagine some are more concerned about this issue than others.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 25/03/2011 09:58

If there are family rooms he can nab one for the girls, at least then he can stand outside and their parents will know they wont be alone in the changing rooms, he can also check they haven't left anything behind.

I think just from a water safety POV it would be good to have another adult along - this has nothing to do with it being DH (a male) taking them.

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