to ask DS to return the money?

[heliumballoons]

DS, 6, is pllying in the park over the road with some schoolfriends and children from the street.

I am watching from the kitchen window.

The ice-cream man has taken to comming daily since the nice weather began. I sometimes let DS have one but don't want to start the having one daily or expecting one as he come 3x a day in holidays. Can't be bothered with the 'oh he's here can I have one' everytime I hear the fucking tune.

DS is very good and accepts this (or has so far)

So he came again (2nd time tonight) whilst DS in the park and DS comes over to me. I open the door expecting him to ask me again for one, but he says a boy has given him a pound and he's going to spend it on an ice cream.

I tell him he needs to give the money back and say 'thankyou', but that he can't take the money.

DS says OK and trots off again.

Please tell me I did the right thing, or AIBU as most the children got a lolly and this boy was probably just being kind to DS?? (boy is probably only 7 or 8 yo).

TIA

You did the right thing. I've had to do this with my kids on occasion.

Yanbu

tell him the tune plays when all the ice cream has gone

Mine believed that until they were 7.

DS would probably believed it if I told him from the start. Problem is it stops right opposite the park, i.e. right outside my house so he can see children buying them.

He accepts he can't always have one, did I do the right thing by getting him to give the money back?

I had a simelar situation to this once, but it was my ds doing the giving. Only 40p though, for cakes ast a school sale. The two boys were 8 at the time, and my ds has aspergers, so I was just pleased that he had thought to do something kind for his friend and didn't think anymore about it. The other Mum did as you did, and at first I wondered why she was making such a big deal about it, athough I completely understood her reasoning. She actually got the school to deal with it, as well as talking to me, which was a help because they could reinforce to my ds that he wasn't in trouble and that he did a kind thing. In the long run though, I think it was right for my ds too, I wouldn't want him to think that he can just go around giving out spare money to anyone he fancies playing with at that moment in time, which he would be capable of thinking.

So, I think you did the right thing, but maybe if you see the other boy you could reinforce your thanks but give him a reason why you made ds give the money back so he doesn't think he did something wrong.

It's a difficult one as the boy was probably just being kind...

However, if like me you have tried to teach your children not to take anything from strangers then you have to abide by that.

So yes I think you definately did the right thing.

Thanks everyone.

Its a dificult one because I have given DS a pound before after school to get something from the newagents. He wanted pix n mix so a pound is just about the right amount iyswim. He saw a school friend who went in with him as the mum stopped to chat with me. DS bought them both a chocolate bar and I told him how kind it was to share the money. BUT I know the boy and the mum so it felt different, and DS did say as they went in I'm going to buy me and friend some sweets so I'd ok'd it iyswim.

I don't know this boy and DS only knows him from playing in the street.