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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect the school to call me back???

25 replies

mrsjaja · 24/03/2011 13:09

Benn having some probs with DD, and she went into school a bit sad but very angry with me. Pastoral car teacher was supposed to ring on Monday, but she was off.

I phoned school at 8.40 and asked if they could get dd class teacher and pastoral care worker to call me, as i was very concerned about Dd this morning and the assured me they would.

I is now gone 1 pm and i have heard nothing!!!!

We were in Heads office Monday as she finally admitted that she was being verbally and mentally bullied by a shit boy in her Maths class, who had threatened to smack her head in if she told anyone what he was saying to her!!! Very nasty comments about her personally, and calling her a piss head, and piss flaps, and said she was a fucking bitch!!!!!!!

AIBU to expect them to call me back?????

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsjaja · 24/03/2011 13:09

Sorry for typos, getting cross and teary about all this!!!!

OP posts:
grovel · 24/03/2011 13:11

No. Call them again.

JaxTellersOldLady · 24/03/2011 13:12

mrsjaja I assume your DD is in secondary school?

If it were me, then I would be down at school demanding making an appointment with head of year to get some plans in place to stop this bullying boy.

NinkyNonker · 24/03/2011 13:12

Well presumably they have been teaching all morning? They will probably call after school.

MadamDeathstare · 24/03/2011 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beingsetup · 24/03/2011 13:22

Not nice, maybe call them back?

Original poster
mrsjaja · 24/03/2011 13:26

Grovel - i rang again at 11 and they told me the pasotral care teacher would ring me as soon as she was free from the parent she was with.

JaxTellersOldLady - no she isnt!!! She is 9 years old!!!! And that was what the meeting on Monday with the Head was about. He was great with her about it, explaining that if she didnt tell they couldnt help, as they wouldnt know about it etc.

I appreciate that they are teaching etc, but i do know they have free periods etc.

Im just so concerned about my DD!!!!! I am crying again as i reply to you all!!!! (soft tart arent i?? especially after the horrible things she said to me this morning ie - dont know why me and dad bought you those nice things for Mothers day - you are an evil mother and i hate you for ever!!!! - all becasue i was "helping" her get dressed for scholl becasue she refused to do it herself (sigh) )

OP posts:
blackteaplease · 24/03/2011 13:27

If you don't get a call by the end of the day, call the school again or send the class teacher an email requesting that they call you when they are free. They may not have had a chance to even pick up the message that you have called.

My Dh is a teacher and does lunchtime duty/ rugby coaching at lunchtimes, sometimes he doesn't even have time to eat his lunch, let alone make phone calls. But he does have time at the end of the school day.

NinkyNonker · 24/03/2011 13:28

Her teacher may well not have had a free yet, they don't always have them every day. Or she may be busy, or gathering info.

Either call to remind them or wait till after school.

Lizcat · 24/03/2011 13:32

It may be worth getting hold of the school's bullying policy so that you know what response you can expect and when now they know about the bullying.

Original poster
mrsjaja · 24/03/2011 13:41

Okay. Just rang again - to leave a different contact number as i am about to leave work, so wanted to give them my mobile. Receptionist was well narky with me.

I know this is unreasonable and i will get flamed for it, but i am so hacked off!!!!! I dont care what else they are doing. This is about MY child. I rang this morning because i wanted to ask for someone to keep an extra special eye on her (she told me she has been crying in the loo so no-one would know ffs) - how can i ask if they dont even call me back.....(i know her teacher has a free period on Thursday mornings, becasue she told me that was a good time to catch her, btw)......

I do know they all do so much more than people think (close family member is teacher too), that they work long hours both in and out of school times, and I DO appreciate all that they do. Really i do.

Im just so worried about DD. I feel physically sick.

OP posts:
gingeroots · 24/03/2011 13:43

Oh you poor thing .
Remind yourself that lots of things are said in heat of the moment - your DD probably didn't mean all those horrible things .
I feel for you waiting to hear back from school ,don't know what to suggest tho ,other than give it until end of day ...

Can you go and walk round the block ,clear your head ?

Hang on in there ,things will come right ,get better .

MadamDeathstare · 24/03/2011 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
mrsjaja · 24/03/2011 13:48

Leaving work soon, so will be in the car, having a craft smoke (necessary to calm me down today i feel) Did explain that i wanted to talk to someone without her being around becasue i will either get really cross or cry Blush, which is what i do when i am angry, and i dont want dd to see me do either really!!!!!

Will let you know.......

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsjaja · 24/03/2011 21:38

Well one rang me at 4.38 pm - on wrong number, and the one at 5.38 on mobile, but i was driving!!!!! Both are going to call me in the morning - bit late when i wanted to ask them to watch her today, but hey ho....

She came out of school and said she had had a brilliant day, and we had the best bedtime we have had for weeks.......

OP posts:
maddy68 · 24/03/2011 22:08

I'm a teacher and I generally only get to return calls after school finishes, as at breaks I am either on duty or have detentions or clubs. Afterschool is usually the only time I get to phone anyone, so please dont think they were deliberately not returning your call

trixie123 · 24/03/2011 22:38

If you wanted to get hold of a teacher to put something in place for today you should have rung at maybe 8.25-8.30 before registration. You might have stood a chance of speaking to them then. I appreciate you are upset but really you can't say things like "I don't care what else they are doing" and not be told YABU. Also, am curious - if your daughter is nine, what kind of school is she at where teachers get free periods?

ilovesooty · 24/03/2011 22:41

I appreciate you are upset but really you can't say things like "I don't care what else they are doing" and not be told YABU.

I'm afraid I agree.

MadamDeathstare · 24/03/2011 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 24/03/2011 23:49

That probably isn't a free period - it's probably PPA.

cory · 25/03/2011 07:52

I have had this happen once or twice- on each occasion the school counsellor had been suddenly taken up last minute by really urgent child protection issues. You know what is happening to your child, you never know what might be happening to another child. Hopefully things get resolved today. Best of luck.

Original poster
mrsjaja · 25/03/2011 09:00

I knew i was being unreasonable ladies - i did say that! Its just she has had so much to cope with recently that i dont want her to end up hating school as well!!!!!! She is a really good student (top sets in all subjects) and she loves going there - i dont want her love of learning to be lost in all the trauma/upset this little boy seems to be able to get away with - have learned the she is not the only one he has been bullying, and that he has been exluded for two days twice since they started there in September!!!! This is as well as sanctions/detentions.

I would rather be told they are really busy, than she will call you back shortly, which is what i was getting yesterday.

And yes MadamDeathstare they do have free periods when the children are doing Science and Games etc.

Looking back at yesterday, I was just getting anxious i think, as the day progressed.....

Today is a new day, and she went in as happy as could be, and they both promised to call me back, so wont ring school at all as i am sure they will keep their word.....Hmm

OP posts:
Sweetpea215 · 25/03/2011 09:22

If I was concerned about my child being bullied I would get down the school and arrange to see her teacher in person to discuss any problems rather than waiting for them to call me.

Original poster
mrsjaja · 25/03/2011 09:58

Have already spoken to the Headteacher. The phone call was just to ask someone to keep an eye on her becasue she was so upset yesterday morning.

Pastoral Care Teacher has phoned me already this morning, full of apologies at not calling me back yesterday. Have agreed an action plan with her today, for them to keep a close eye on both my DD and the little shit boy who is/was bullying her.

OP posts:
JaxTellersOldLady · 25/03/2011 14:29

glad you have a resolution MRS hope your daughter is OK today.

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