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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Small-minded colleagues WWYD?

29 replies

Kosmik · 23/03/2011 23:03

I thought I should share my story of the attitude of my colleagues when I returned to work when my son was 8.5 months old.

I work as a registered nurse in a hospital in the North West of England. I informed my manager of my intention to express my milk at work and was provided with a clean private room in which to do this. I stored my expressed milk in a sealed bottle in the staff fridge and then took it home in a cool bag at the end of the day.

I was aware that this was a bit of a novelty with my colleagues which I can understand. However, one of my colleagues, also a registered nurse, asked me if I would store my expressed milk in a bag out of sight as the sight of it in the staff fridge was offending some people. In my initial shock I was actually holding back tears.

I have never got over this and it has made me more determined than ever to ensure that my children get the best possible start in life. I don't work on that ward anymore and I can laugh about it now.

OP posts:

Seabright · 23/03/2011 23:05

They don't sound like they are really cut out for the nursing profession, if they are "offended" by milk.

Heaven knows what would happen if someone were sick or worse!

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:05

what is your question?

Original poster

Kosmik · 23/03/2011 23:09

the question is WWYD?

OP posts:

animula · 23/03/2011 23:11

Well, in all honesty I would probably do what you probably did: Felt very unhappy and then changed job as soon as possible.

In an ideal world you would a. work assiduously to change such antedeluvian attitudes in those around you and, hopefully, those not geographically close (through politics and so on) b. KILL THEM. OK - the last was a joke.

I have to say, I'm with Seabright, and rather boggling as to their choice of career. surely they would have had happier and more fulfilled lives in some other profession? Their narrow-minded/offended-o-meters must have surged into the red at least 30 times a day. Weird.

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:13

erm, you said you dont work with them anymore so you can laugh about it now. surely that means nothing needs to be done as the situation no longer exists?

warzone · 23/03/2011 23:16

I would tell the colleague that I'm offended by her suggestion that human milk is something so disgusting.

Slightly off topic: I take cows milk into work in a bm expressing bottle and keep it in the staff fridge. Now nobody steals my milk!!

BaronessBomburst · 23/03/2011 23:19

Some people have some serious hang-ups, is all I can say. I'm currently reading "Breastfeeding Older Children" by Ann Sinnott. It was recommended on another thread. It's really interesting and has a chapter dealing with why people in Western society seem to have so many hang-ups regarding BF and breast milk. Only I can't summarise it it one sentence and do it justice..... Haven't got to the chapter on Breastfeeding and Work yet.

But try and let it go. They have a problem - not you.

warzone · 23/03/2011 23:19

Booyhoo, I think op just wants to discuss the issue because it still angers her, even though there is, as you say, no problem right now. I don't think she's looking for advice. Just opinions and experiences.

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:22

ah right. i was confused by the WWYD aspect of the title. thanks.

Jenstar21 · 23/03/2011 23:27

I work in the medical school of a top university, and guidelines arethat no human products (breastmilk, blood, urine -ew-etc) can be kept in the same storage areas as foods. For example, a colleague of mine wanted to put a placenta in a Tupperware box in the staff fridge. Unsurprisingly a colleague got a bit of a shock when picking it up instead of her lunch!!! We're all clinical professionals but still comply with this guidance. Not passing judgement on whether it's right or wrong, but are you sure this isn't the policy in this case?

LoveBeingKnockedUp · 23/03/2011 23:39

It was not for her to say to you IMO, if she had a problem she should have spoken to someone senior.

Original poster

Kosmik · 23/03/2011 23:41

There was no policy regarding whether human milk or goats milk or cows milk or raw and cooked bits of animal flesh should be stored in the staff fridge. This was more of a 'Dignity at Work' or 'Equality and Diversity' issue. Before I moved from that ward I told my manager what had happened but she had no sympathy and told me that I needed to respect other people's opinions! It was more than just small-mindedness there was definitely an element of bullying about it. I had only been on the ward for a few weeks before I went off on maternity and hadn't been accepted into the clique. I didn't take it any further and I sometimes think that I should have done. Nurses of all people should be more tolerant of others. It's probably too late to do anything now. The fact that I never fitted in with them felt very unpleasant at the time but now makes me smile!

OP posts:

LoveBeingKnockedUp · 23/03/2011 23:44

You've hit the nail on the head, the only way would have been formal from both sides, but she chose a dig at you. All you can fo mow is decide what you will fo if you are faced with this again( and not just about breast milk)

warzone · 23/03/2011 23:50

Jenstar - human milk is food. Not in the same category as blood and urine, surely? If the policy states bm on that list, it's out of order IMO.

Tortington · 23/03/2011 23:52

as long as someone couldn't mistakenly put it in their tea - i really can't see a problem and your colleagues were twats

BooyHoo · 23/03/2011 23:53

if i remember correctly from my return to work time, the employer guidelines recommend that a storage facility is provided for the breastfeeding employee to store expressed BM. i say guidelines because i dont think it is law. but still, if that is the case then you could always ask for a separate fridge to be provided and see how well that goes down with the complainers. it would certainly put their noses out of joint if you got a whole fridge all to yourself.

Jenstar21 · 23/03/2011 23:54

That does sound like bullying if there was no policy. Surely a workplace needs to provide somewhere for you to keep your bm until you can take it home...?

And warzone - but it's food from a human source, and that's where the difference comes in.... Just like In the hospital policy that animal and non-animal produces need to be kept separate... We're largely medical microbiologists so quite aware of these things!! ;0

A1980 · 23/03/2011 23:59

"Jenstar - human milk is food. Not in the same category as blood and urine, surely?"

I would class it as the same risk as blood and urine as a matter of fact. Human milk is a much greater infection risk than ordinary food if it was to leak or spill. The breast milk isn't pastuerised and hasn't been tested for infections.

I'm not saying that the OP has any infections or conditions but why do think that breast milk ice cream being sold was withdrawn by the department of health for tests before they allowed to be sold? Human viruses are meant to infect humans therefore it would be a much greater risk than spilled cows milk in the fridge. There are very few animal viruses that can jump the species barrier to infect humans.

BaronessBomburst · 24/03/2011 00:09

A1980 So that's why unpasteurised cheese would be okay - because the viruses are unlikely to be passed across so easily? Only I would have used that as an argument - ban the brie too.

Mind you, our fridge for expressed milk was in the damp and smelly ladies' toilets in the basement. I just expressed before I left for work, expressed as soon as I got home, and hoped I didn't get caught in traffic as my boobs would be killing me if I did. Then I got made redundant, so problem solved.

A1980 · 24/03/2011 00:23

A1980 So that's why unpasteurised cheese would be okay - because the viruses are unlikely to be passed across so easily?

That would be ok becasue the cheese is from an animal source.

Baroness you clearly haven't read my post properly nor have you read Jenstars' posts properly and she is a medical microbiologist.

The difference is that it is food from a HUMAN source. Which is a much greater risk that food from animal sources. Human bacteria and viruses are meant for humans. Animal viruses etc ... as said there aren't that many that pass the species barrier and infect humans.

So unpasterised cheese from an animal source = ok. Human milk = not as safe and should be kept seperate from food from an animal source.

Original poster

Kosmik · 24/03/2011 00:31

A1980 - I've never heard that one anywhere before. I always kept my breastmilk in the fridge and freezer at home as advised not realising the risk of contamination to the rest of the familys' food!

As there was no leak or spill of breastmilk in the staff fridge there was no 'infection risk'. My milk was the freshest and healthiest thing that fridge has ever had in it. It never stayed in there longer than a few hours. If it or anything else had leaked or spilled on to others' food then that food would be thrown away. Nobody seemed so bothered about that cheesecake that someone left in there for over a week though!

After the incident I never gave my baby his milk after it had been in the staff fridge cos I was so paranoid that someone could have tampered with it for a joke. I feel daft for thinking it but it wasn't worth the risk!

OP posts:

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 24/03/2011 00:40

Tch. BLood is food too, you know. These people, whoever they are, are discriminating against vampiiiiiiiiiiires!

LoveBeingKnockedUp · 24/03/2011 05:51

FetchezLaVache · 24/03/2011 08:44

Idiots!! Regardless of rules and guidelines, how can a healthcare professional be offended by the sight of human milk? Definitely in the wrong job!

FWIW, when I worked at the European Commission in Brussels, a colleague used to express in the loos at lunchtime and hand the bottle of EBM over to the staff of the ground-floor coffee bar, who happily stashed it in the fridge for her until home-time. There was never any issue with harming the dignity of poor Eurocrats forced to look at something icky secreted from a person. And if you can get away with it there, in the home of daft regulations, you'd think you'd be OK in a hospital.

CMOTdibbler · 24/03/2011 09:35

I expressed at work, and it went in the fridge of the staff canteen. The blokes on the shop floor (manufacturing) didn't bat an eyelid, although I did put the milk bottle in an opaque bag just to stop people putting it in their tea

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