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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to continue bfing?

26 replies

madhousewife · 23/03/2011 22:47

I'm going back to work soon and I've been trying to wean my DS for months now during the day to no avail. For some reason I just can't do it.

I spoke to a woman from La Leche League who suggested that it is possible for me to continue feeding DS on the days I'm with him as per usual and the 3 days that I'm working - he/we will adapt to that.

Sounds great in theory but am I just setting myself up for sore, leaky boobs at work and a miserable child at nursery?

OP posts:

FlipFantasia · 23/03/2011 22:54

Don't think this is really an AIBU topic - you might get better advice in the Feeding section

I feed DS morning and evening only when he's at nursery (and I'm about to go back to work 4 days a week) but feed him more often (3-4 times) on the days when we're together. I haven't leaked or had any engorgement in a long time (DS has just turned 1) so this is fine for us. DS doesn't look for milk when he's not with me, so haven't had any problems with nursery.

With nursery, you could try giving cow's milk (if over a year) or expressed milk/formula if under a year) during settling in and see how your DS gets on.

If leaking/engorgement is a problem at work then you can express.

Original poster

madhousewife · 23/03/2011 23:00

Thanks Flip, I may post again later in the feeding section.
Glad to hear this is working for you. I really appreciate your comments!

OP posts:

DancingThroughLife · 23/03/2011 23:03

YANBU if that's what you want to do.

How old is your DS?

I went back to work when DD was 7mo and did this. I'm now working 3 days a week, and she has 4oz of expressed milk and food when I'm at work, and bf the rest of the time. It works fine.

By that age, your boobs/supply have regulated so you might not get the leaky sore boobs thing. I never have.

lucky24 · 23/03/2011 23:08

I think it depends on how old your DS is. If he is eating solids yet.

My DS started nursery a 9.5 months and eat food and drank water at nursery. He BF from me morning and night. On my days off (I worked 3 day) I would feed him again in the day but he didnt seem to mind not getting a BF on my work days. He was getting the nutriants he need from food at nursery.

I didnt get sore/leaky boobs. I think it takes all LOs a while to settle at nursery regardless of being BF or not.

HTH

Original poster

madhousewife · 24/03/2011 12:01

Thanks for your messages - this is very reassuring.

DS is 11 months (almost a year) but eats very little and he's small although so am I and so is DH.

I know in a few weeks I will have forgotten all about this bloody settling in period and we will have worked things out.

OP posts:

KaraStarbuckThrace · 24/03/2011 12:06

DS was 8.5 mo when I returned to work full time.
He wouldn't take a bottle at nursery, would only drink water from a cup, and wasn't a great eater. We soon adapted, he got better eating solids and would have a big feed in the morning and one when I picked him up, and then in the evening and night.
I did express the first week but he never drank it so I stopped.
We both adapted fine, and DS fed until he was 2.7.

choceyes · 24/03/2011 12:10

I'm going to be in this position soon. will be going back to work when DD is 13 months, for 3 days a week. Doing BLW so she's not going to be droppign her daytime feeds that soon.

will be interested in the replies!

missorinoco · 24/03/2011 12:10

I couldn't get my daughter on the bottle. HV said two good BF a day (morning and night) would be enough milk. There will also be the extra dairy products from any milk on cereal or cheese they eat, but she was happy that even without this it was enough.

Sensible HV whose opinion I respected before she gets flamed.

Agree repost in feeding though, you will get more replies and people may otherwise not click on your post thinking it will be a bunfight in the making so to speak.

iskra · 24/03/2011 12:11

I spent time away from DD from 9m on. Initially I had to pump once a day while away from her but pretty soon I wasn't pumping in her absence, wasn't sore, but was able to feed her as normal on the days we were together. She bfed until 2y7m.

Cosmosis · 24/03/2011 12:13

it should be fine I think, although be prepared for a bit of reverse cycling.

MamaChocoholic · 24/03/2011 12:14

I went back to work 5 days, FT, when ds1 was 11mo. He had cows milk during the day (a little) and just fed extra morning, evening (and nighttime). it was fine, no leaky/massive boobiness involved

CelebratedMonkey · 24/03/2011 12:18

I have just gone back to work and am currently expressing for working days and bfeeding as normal the rest of the time. Seems to be working so far, though I don't enjoy expressing so will be relieved when he can have cow's milk and then I'll just move to morning/night feeds, hopefully.

HipHopopotomus · 24/03/2011 13:46

DD was 8 months when I went back to work FT.

We continued to BF when together & I expressed during the day and she had BM from a sippy cup during the day with the CM. She never really took to it though and after a couple of months we just got into morning/evening/night feeds and weekends etc and my boobs just sorted themselves out during the day. We BF until DD was 14 months.

Bideyin · 24/03/2011 13:51

I went back to work with both of mine at about 10/11 months. We continued to bf when I was around and they had another drink when I wasn't, they just adjusted. I bf'd both until they were 3 1/2.

wolfhound · 24/03/2011 13:54

I think it will probably work. I worked from home with DS1 and my mum looked after him - by the time he was 10 months he didn't feed during the day when she was looking after him (but he did when I was).

newbeemummy · 24/03/2011 14:53

I bf'd once I had gone back to work, i used to express as soon as I got up and then feed her before I left and then once I got home in the evening. I never really suffered with leaking or sore boobs.

All the best with it

Original poster

madhousewife · 24/03/2011 21:35

I wish this was like Facebook and I could comment directly on your comments or hit the lame/cop out like button.

Just want to say that I really really do appreciate everyone's comments, thank you so much!!

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 24/03/2011 21:38

DD was/is a small one 16lbs 3oz at the 12 months.

At 11 months I stopped feeding her in the day, but let her feed a few times at night. She's always been a bad sleeper. Before that I was not expressing at work (as had some freezer stock) and feeding fine during the day at the weekend.

I agree that them being small seems to make it harder to refuse food or try and reduce feeds, but there is nothing wrong with them. They are naturally small, not underweight.

MissVerinder · 24/03/2011 21:55

I went back to work when DD was 6 months. She wouldn't have anything from the bottle, so we reverse cycled along with the weaning. It worked quite well. The only thing I would say is that if we could have co-slept (DP is type 1 diabetic) it would have made things a lot easier, so maybe you could consider that? We BF till she was 2.7yo

JetLi · 24/03/2011 22:04

DD was 11 months when I went back to work. On the days I worked, she had boob for breakfast (as normal), then water/cows milk at nursery, and then dove into the boob again when we got home from collecting her from nursery. I didn't express at work & she fed normally on the non-work days. It was all fine TBH. No leakage or engorgement for me. Feeding her after work was incredibly soothing though - I used to wind down with a glass of wine and a fag but feeding her was very relaxing - the hormones I guess.

JetLi · 24/03/2011 22:07

Be prepared for a bit of bosom juggling though - DD was forever ferreting down my top when I collected her from nursery at first

pointythings · 24/03/2011 22:11

At 11 months your supply will adjust fine, don't worry about it.

I went back when my DCs were 6 months both times (no long maternity leave back then ). I expressed at work but truth be told they were crap at taking bottles. They just tanked up when I was there and were absolutely fine.

I did once forget to bring my pump to work with me 3 weeks after returning to work with DD2 - had to go home at 2 pm, in agony. However, you're not planning to express so this won't happen to you. You might be uncomfortable for the first few days but if you hand-express and then reduce this over a couple of weeks, your body will realise what's going on. I fed on demand on weekends, had buckets of milk then but no problems expressing only twice a day at work.

mercibucket · 24/03/2011 22:17

you will be fine and he will be fine too
I had to go a week without feeding ds2 when he was 14 months and apart from slight discomfort, I was fine, he was fine and we just picked up where we left off a week later
enjoy work

Original poster

madhousewife · 24/03/2011 22:20

wow, mumsnet mums are incredible! Seriously, you all gotta stop now! How many times can I thank you all before it gets a bit old!

Aren't boobs great, no wonder we are all obsessed with them! I knew my little a cups would come into their own one day!

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 25/03/2011 01:02

Glad your feeling better about. It's seems so stressful in the run to work, then it's fine and you wonder what all the fuss was about.

I went back at 4 months and it pre-occupied by mind from the moment she was born, but we live and learn.

Flip

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