I want to cry about my forthcoming wedding but?

[goingtothechapel]

My situation is this we have two children,I have a family who are never there for me except my Dad who is getting on in life and I love dearly and would like to be a part of,I would never ask him now in his age to travel and tbh my family would not for whatever reason would come.

I then looked at the impending list of friends and family and I will be honest that some friends on it I have not been in touch with for more than a year or so.

My partners family are loving and caring and would love to be involved on our wedding day but if we would to go abroad and say I do,my family would or could not be there.

Mil would do anything for me and loves me like a daughter but if they came and we marrieds abroad and my family would not be there I would be sad on my day and I explained I would not want this this.

The money we would spend here to include everyone and the money We could spend on dp and our children and our day would give us a wonderful day ,my but is are we aibu ?.

Would you go away with your best friend and and her husband and family and say I do with your kids acting as witnesses having one great hoilday ?.

I think it sounds great! A holiday away with your close friend and your kids to see you get married - that will be really special and lovely.

My advice is go away.
I have a similar family by the sounds of it and hoped for one bloody day in my life they could all behave themselves but oh no that was too much to expect.
My sister nearly caused us to loose £4k on our honeymoon, my mother was nearly sent to prison for interfering with a witness three days before my wedding and said nothing about it until months afterwards, my dad got a better offer for the evening and left at 3pm without so much as a goodbye, our best man's wife decided she couldn't cope with their 2 year old any more and insisted they left after the meal too, found a note in the room.
Three out of 4 sets of parents are no longer with the people they were with/married to on the day, we rarely see the friends if at all. I fell out with my best friend over her daughter wanting to be a bridesmaid. My hen day was the cause of an argument about people not wanting to pay their share, they thought it was my treat
All in all it was shit if i'm honest, £25k down the drain.
Run away OP

Sorry I didn't mean your family are nutters like mine I mean that they wouldn't travel and that should have been my golden ticket to a nice day abroad.

Thank you for your input Im sorry Mamatomany I really am,and tbh I want to just go off into the sunset but fel that I aibu,and tbh now I have my dp and kids to thionk about and deep down that is all that matters as they are my family now.

Do you know what?Mamatomany I am on your wave length they are nutters it is the truth Dads not the rest are ,and yes it is a golden ticket I need the go ahead to go i just feel bad and dont want everyone to look at me and say poor Goingtothechapel on the day when they relise what my family are truly like.

My DH and I got married after 19 years together. I know both his family and mine would have loved to have been there but we eloped - we went away for the weekend got married told them all when we got back - including the children.

Selfish possibly..... but we wanted it to be about us, not the politics of extend difficult family situation.

Your dad will understand as your in laws will too - or certainly they should I think we all get very caught up in the show of a wedding but it is alot of money and itis your money and your marriage. Do it your way.

I'd really like to do my whole wedding again just me, him and the children, to forget about the first day which was more for show, to people I don't care about and probably didn't then.
Don't have regrets OP, do it for yourself and little family, enjoy it !

Yes.

Yes, go abroad, but talk to your Dad about it first, to see if there's a way he can be part of it, even if he can't be there with you - skype or something maybe?

My friend got married here I wasn't there but it sounded so romantic! They had to walk through the streets on the way to the little church and the locals clapped them as they went.

The photos are beautiful as well, everyone smiling in the sun.

If I had my time again, I would consider doing the same.

Yanbu, go away and do it!

Tbh I think this is what we will do and it will be money well spent thanks everyone.