to consider becoming a medical student mum?

[ForShizzle]

I have name changed but I'm a regular.

I am gearing up to apply to medical school in the next UCAS cycle - sitting chemistry A level, preparing for entrance exams and getting work experience. I'm applying to 4 and 5 year courses, it is really competitive and I'm 30 now so I imagine it will take me a few attempts before they let me in.

I've got 2 DCs, 5 years and 2 years at the moment. If I get accepted on the first attempt I will start medical school when my youngest starts school. The fact that I didn't consider a medical career after school is a big regret of mine, but the kids come first. I am worried that I will be an absent parent, and that they will be affected by having me around much less. After the initial intense slog of medical school, it gets worse in the foundation years and then there is more training to specialise in a particular field. I can't know how this will affect them until I do it, but I'm worried that I'm doing something that is not in their interest at all.

I suppose I am looking for advice from mum's who've studied or retrained? How did it pan out?

Thanks

I know it's not the same by a long shot but I am currently nearing the end of my first year as an English Lit student. I also work 2 evenings a week and have 3 kids, 9,4 and 20 months. I am not struggling with the workload one bit, having been a hard worker (in the workplace) for 18 years. I realise that the intensity may increase though. I love, love, love every minute of my course and I'm unbelievably glad that I started it as this point in my life.

Go for it, and I wish you every success.

haha superwoman made me laugh! You should see the state of our kitchen!

I'm doing Gp partly because of the hours and partly because I like the continuity of care and variety of workload. I am lucky because I genuinely love my job.....I really couldnt imagine doing anything else

At some points I've done a rota where I havent seen the children for 3 days a time and weeks of 8-8 nights ( I dont think we're allowed to do them anymore!) but it honestly doesnt seem to have had an adverse effect on them. They are very secure and happy and a close network of family and friends really helps. But stuff like having a spotless house does slip a bit as I'd rather spend all my time off with the boys than dusting or ironing pants!

I obviously get the occasional "mum guilt" but then all SAHM/WAHM get that from time to time, dont they?

I think if you have always wanted to do it then go for it! If you dont get in ( and it is very competitive now) then at least you've given it a go.

I like the idea of some shadowing. Do you have a local friendly medical school that may be able to help?

good luck

It's over 20 years since I started medical school (that makes me feel old!) straight out of school. 200 in the year and I can't think of a single person with a baby or child. All the 'mature' students had come straight from other degrees.
Now I'm a full-time hospital Consultant having done a lot of my registrar trainig part-time and I'm quite involved with the medical students. Definitely much more diverse backgrounds and paths into medicine which is a really good thing and lots of mothers with children at school or who have had babies while studying. I don't think they have it easy for a minute and you definitely need a lot of home support, preferably flexible DP and other family around as back-up. It was manageable for me doing weeks of nights etc because my DH is not medical and actually works from home.
I absolutely love my job and can't imagine doing anything else. I do miss out on some things with the children (now aged 9 and 7) but I also know that they are proud of what I do and I really feel I'm setting them a good example.

Go for it. You won't be alone, others will be in the same boat and it can be done.

Bear in mind junior doctors move a LOT. If your family comitments anchor you to a location then you will have to compromise on specialty. Hours are much better than they were but I still work 8-6 more often than not, and then on calls are generally 13 hours (sometimes still 24hours but becoming less common as intensity increases)

COI very broody ortho registrar - feel free to message me if you like!

If you are in the North East and would like to arrange to shadow a dr for a week or 2 CAT me and I will sort you out

You will be a better medical student than I was
I was a child myself when I look back

Nothing like being really motivated and I agree about being a better doctor if you have a lot of life experience

shizzle he's at SGUL.

Obviously it varies by university, but at SGUL you don't need to have a science degree, you just have to do well in the GAMSAT. DP does have a MEng though which maybe gave him an edge.

We have a couple of friends who did the graduate course at Barts - one of them has a BA in Health Studies from the OU (& was 40 when she started!) so not a highflying science grad.

I do think that you get a better grounding on a 5/6 year course. A friend of mine from my undergrad - we did Eng Lit together & then she took her science A levels & embarked on a 5 year undergrad course - seems to have had a much more academically rigorous course than DP. But not sure how much difference it will make in the long run, & they sound much less accommodating than DP's uni has been (eg preferential treatments for placements close to home).

namechangeme that was really interesting for me. DP is starting F1 in Aug & we are having second baby in Sept! Have deliberately moved deaneries so we are close to my family in expectation of his hours.

Strep, DH does 13 hr nights.

iskra, the hardest part was loosing the holidays even though DH worked 36hr weeks it was flexible and we made the most of them.

The teams he has worked with so far have all been brilliant wrt swapping occasional shifts etc (you can't take leave on cover/on call/nights and have to swap instead) as they are very understanding and don't have children yet themselves.

namechangeme That is really interesting. There is so much to think about. I'm not sure I could deal with not seeing the kids awake for whole weeks at a time! And although I think I would be fine with not going on holidays, I'm sure DH would have an issue with it (although we would need to be saving money in every way possible). Good luck to your DH, it sounds like he has done fantastically well so far.

yellowdinosaur thanks, that is really kind, especially as shadowing is hard to get, I'm in the south east though

iskra I have considered SGUL and have looked at some GAMSAT practice papers but felt a bit unwell when I realised you have to answer a question every 30 seconds or whatever it was. I will probably aim to sit it next year though, hopefully the chemistry A level will provide a bit of prep for it. I could apply to the barts 4 year course this year if I get a high enough score in the UKCAT exam.

jenniec79 thanks so much! Good luck with the broodiness

popstar thank you for the consultant's perspective, you are right about having a flexible DP. My DH has a bit of a commute to work and is out of the house from 7am-7pm. My mum lives nearby and has offered to help but she's in her 60s now and I think it would be asking too much. I would need to think of something else, possibly an aupair if we can afford one.

And thanks to everyone else for the encouragement and realism

Hours now are however much better than they used to be in terms of quantity (I q. 10 years+ ago). FY1 and are a doddle compared to the old house jobs. More shift work now - you need to plan for very flexible childcare. You may not know yet, but as you go through the course and early training think very carefully about your final specialisation. That is what will really make the difference.
Medicine is hugely varied in terms of the final workload. Some careers - most surgery, renal, cardiac, gastro/liver, haem etc are always going to be hard work. Others will be hard during training, but then things improve. Radiology, path, rheumatology...many others. Anaesthetics is hard in training but often much better structured than acute medicine. GP can be as hard as you like - ambitious partner? or work as a salaried GP, fixed hours and less admin... choice is yours...so not all doctors work anything like the same hours, stress level or unsociable hours...

Thanks mybabywakesupsinging I think my age might rule out most surgical career paths anyway? I just assumed I would get overlooked for training posts if I am 15 years older than everyone else?! At the moment my dream job would be in paediatrics or neonatal. It might be totally unrealistic though!

Raises hand - im a medical student with a baby.

The uni has been quite understanding with organising maternity leave and allowing me to choose my placements. Financially the nhs student bursaries are quite generous.

Agree hours during clinical yrs can be very long - often 10-12 hr days.

Can be done though and im certainly not the only one with a child on my course.