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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my DH should NOT wear a baseball cap backwards???

51 replies

Champersonice · 23/03/2011 12:58

Is it me or does this cap fit into the following categories:

  1. young: gang culture
  2. older: tw*ts
  3. Hip Hop culture
  4. 1980's film producers (thinking Speilberg etc)
  5. 1990's rappers
  6. Bart Simpson

?????

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 23/03/2011 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lesley33 · 23/03/2011 13:25

Also sometimes when people see themselves in photos they realise how ridiculous they look. So engineer an excuse to take a photo of him next time he wears it. Then show him the photo after - but don't make any comment about the photo yourself. this will give him space to admit that yes he looks ridiculous.

LessNarkyPuffin · 23/03/2011 13:25

I was all prepared to say he might be self-conscious about hair loss and you were being mean, but backwards Shock

Scissors. Only cure.

MadamDeathstare · 23/03/2011 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Champersonice · 23/03/2011 13:26

Lesley33, I do sort of agree with where you are coming from with your suggested approach but that is just ridiculing him and doesn't really get us anywhere - just hurt and then he might throw something back t me and the whole insult tennis game begins! I have tried telling him that it is uncool and NOT a look that he should be portraying. I am coming across as being controlling (in his eyes) and I really have no ideas with how to deal with it - short of having a 'cap' fire!! I will try to encourage use of other hats and charm him when he wears them...that's all I can think to do!

OP posts:
foundwanting · 23/03/2011 13:27

Have you got DCs?

Nothing like a pre-teen ripping the piss to change a deluded middle-aged man I find.

KarenWalker · 23/03/2011 13:28

You have my deepest sympathy. Is this a new thing or has he always had a hat fetish?

My DH loves baseball caps and collects them - he has done since being a teenager, wore them all the time when we first met as students but he is now in his 30's and it shows no signs of abating. Some of them he looks nice in, and as his hairline has receded somewhat, he does like them.

If he were a Ken doll and mine to dress, they aren't what I would put him in, but they are his 'thing', and to be honest, he wants for so little in life (he hardly drinks, he isn't into xboxes and suchlike, not fussed about having an expensive car or clothes), that I feel unreasonable making a fuss over it, so I have let it slide. He never tries to dictate what I wear, so it's only fair. Infact, I suggested that if he wanted one for our wedding (reception only!), I was happy for him to wear one - he was surprised and made up to do so. He considers that he will stop wearing them when he's an old man and can legitimately wear a flat cap.

YANBU, but I don't know what to advise you!

stinkyfluffycat · 23/03/2011 13:28

Have you tried making him look in a mirror? Or pointing and laughing?

BadPoet · 23/03/2011 13:33

My dh does this! Tbh I don't care. He only does it to keep his hair out of his eyes when it's getting too long and IMO (completely unbiased naturally) he's good-looking enough to pull it off.

He also wears a flat cap sometimes. I reckon he pulls that off too.

Original poster
Champersonice · 23/03/2011 13:33

MadamDeathStare - you are naughty but I love it! It might be better if he did wear that one backwards!! No, I am being cruel.

Look, to everyone, I can't be cruel and mean (although I want to be!!) but I just can't put up with him wearing it. I appreciate that if that is the extent of his crisis (so far!!) and if it is something he really wants to do, I should just get on with it. BUT, you see, I CAN'T!! I just can't! It is SO wrong in SO many ways!

Foundwanting, we have DC but still toddler so can't get back-up yet!

Lesley33, photo won't work - he seriously thinks he looks good in it! Really, he does!

OP posts:
Original poster
Champersonice · 23/03/2011 13:35

BadPoet, I think I am going to have to resign myself to being with Poochie!! I can't stop him and like you, my DH also wears flat caps but he looks sexy in those...I wuold never have thought so, but he does. I don't think, however, I can ever see myself finding him sexy in his backwards baseball cap!!

OP posts:
BadPoet · 23/03/2011 13:41

Nah, I don't like the backwards cap. I don't think he thinks he looks good in it, it's just practicality for him - I quite envy that, think it's a healthy attitude. So beyond occasionally hiding it, I leave him to it.

Quenelle · 23/03/2011 13:49

< considers buying (balding) DH a flat cap >

OTheHugeManatee · 23/03/2011 13:53

YANBU. The only solution is ruthless mockery until he stops doing it.

OTheHugeManatee · 23/03/2011 13:54

Offer to get him an Alice band maybe?

lesley33 · 23/03/2011 14:04

"that is just ridiculing him and doesn't really get us anywhere - just hurt and then he might throw something back t me"

I think it can be done in a very mildly teasing way. But if you think he would be hurt by this then try the photo suggestion instead. He might then realise how ridiculous he looks. Worked with my OH who used to wear a ridiculous hat. One look at a photo where OH wore hat and the hat was never worn again!

I wouldn't bother telling him any more how he looks. If he thinks you are nagging, this may make him dig his heels in about it.

And tell him how good he looks when he wears another hat you are happy with. Sometimes praise can work far better than criticism.

BlueSkySunnyDay · 23/03/2011 14:25

I think the way to deal with Poochie is just with mocking mild amusement you cant stop it without coming across as controlling. Hopefully it will wear off - this is a difficult age and they can dig their heels in and be stubborn if they feel it is "important"

If its any consolation my husband insists on wearing brightly coloured hoodies whilst he is easy to find in a crowd, one in particularl makes him look like a gay scoutmaster.

Original poster
Champersonice · 23/03/2011 14:26

Thanks, Lesley33 - I will try the praise method opposed to the criticism method. I have to laugh because when I read back what you wrote in an earlier message:

"where's your mid life criss hat?"

I thought you meant "where's your mid-life crisis (h)at?" !! ;o)) heehee

OP posts:
Original poster
Champersonice · 23/03/2011 14:42

I know, curbyburr, EVERY (well, almost!) forum says NO to a backwards baseball cap - it's just, well, backwards!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Champersonice · 24/03/2011 09:49

Update: we spoke last night about my DH's innapropriate attire and he said out of respect to me and DD, he will only wear it when he is not with us.

Getting somewhere but still......

OP posts:
Snobear4000 · 24/03/2011 10:41

Is this your DH?

failblog.org/2009/07/24/hat-fail/

Aims80 · 24/03/2011 10:56

This is never acceptable attire for anyone (bar tennis players on court or the like) over the age of 13.

HipHopopotomus · 24/03/2011 10:59

DP would never wear one though he does wear a flat cap, it's always round the right way.

I've always joked that no matter how much I fancied DP if he wore a baseball cap (anyway around) we wouldn't be blessed with our delightful DD. I just find them such a turn off!

HipHopopotomus · 24/03/2011 10:59

tell him they make men go bald (I'm sure there will be some evidence of that out there in the wonderweb somewhere)

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