to refuse to wipe my 4yo's bottom?

[wendylovesbob]

She is perfectly capable of doing it, she just prefers not to.

She is not anxious or distressed about it.

I was thinking of just saying no. Do it yourself!

Would that be mean?

I could still do a final wipe check, and would still have to enforce hand washing.

I asked her what she does at school, and she informs me she waits until she gets home to poo .

She is nearly 5.

well can you do a final wipe and give her a small reward if she has one a good job?

YANBU.
my 4 yo is a bit of a shirker in the old bathroom hygiene department, and would prefer me to do it.
we usually settle on me watching, encouraging, and checking whilst she gets on with it. leaving it all to her has occasionally resulted in skiddies

If she is capable of doing it then leave her to do it. I think that we should be helping our dc's to reach independence, where ever possible, whilst managing risk of course.

I found getting some children's flushable wet wipes helped a lot. DS was really keen to use the Roary ones :D. I had to ensure he understood only one was to be used, after dry toilet paper, otherwise we'd have blocked the toilet...lol.

YANBU! Leave her to it, the lazy minx

YANBU. My 3 year old is very keen to do herself, but I always ask to have a quick check afterwards (she is now always clean). My 7 year old, on the other hand, would love to have someone wipe him every time even now, and often asks! So I do still check him, although these days I decline to wipe!