AIBU to take it back

[kazwoo]

This is my first post on MN but I could do with some alternative/honest viewpoints please.

My parents have very kindly bought us a 'new' car - a Toyota Rav4 which is lovely to drive but so big and eats petrol. They've given us the money as my mum says she wants to see me and my family enjoy the money now rather than wait until they've gone.

Unfortunately my heart overruled any doubts I had and we picked it up the other weekend and I've been in turmoil ever since. DH is not interested (understandably) as he is finding it hard to accept such a gift, but as I pay for the petrol (as I do the most miles going to work), its hitting my pocket the hardest...I did expect higher fuel costs but combined with the constant increases in fuel plus all the other increases in costs - my head is now ruling my heart :(

I feel if I keep the car, I'm compromising the welfare of my family I feel the costs will eventually restrict the amount of treats we can have. I can't decide whether to take it back now (Toyota have a 30 day return policy) and risk upsetting the apple cart with DH saying/thinking 'I told you so' and my mum being upset and me taking back a gift. Or do I decide in my head, the level at which maintaining it becomes untenable, and then sell it?

I'm worrying about this constantly now and its making me very sad and anxious and DH very stressed. I guess I can't see the wood for the trees now and think straight enough to make a rational decision. To top it off, I've just realised today that we earn ever so slightly above the cut off point for the tax credit change in April so we'll be £40 a month worse off anyway :(

Can you talk to your mum? I am sure she wouldn't want you to feel like this!

take it back and get a different car. Cant see an issue really!!

Take it back and get something smaller and more practical. If your DH says 'I told you so', blow him a great big raspberry. If your mom says anything, just say you wanted something smaller - it's not like your throwing the gift back in her face.

If you don't take it back before the thirty days, you will lose a ridiculous amount of money even if you sell it in 6 months time.

Bloody hell that is a massive car!! If you don't need it bloody hell don't keep it!

Can you not swop it for a more fuel efficient, smaller car? I agree about talking to your mum frankly about your worries.

Did your parents not consult you on the type of car you might like before they bought it for you?

My mum's not very approachable but I've mentioned it to her and she's told me not to worry, just to get on and enjoy it and she'll help me out if I'm struggling but I'm nearly 35 ffs, I shouldn't have to rely on her to bail me out.

I know there isn't an issue really but I've worried myself to death about it and speaking to friends/colleagues at work they just tell me to keep it which I think is what they think I want to hear.

Funny really - I've always had big car envy, now I've got small economical car envy!

I'll try talking to my mum again but wanted/need to get my head straight and some honest view points before I spoke to DH - he can be very awkward/mardy (just like MIL!)

Thanks

I think its far better to take it back now - presumably the garage would let you swap it for something smaller/more economical? - than selling it. I think also given that you got it as a gift, swapping rather than selling it seems more polite, iyswim.

I would have a good look on some of the motoring websites for cars that are more efficient/economical, so you know in advance the sort of car you want and can afford to run...also might be worth looking at diesels, we found having a diesel car significantly cheaper than a petrol one of similar cc.

we have one, and it's very economical on fuel on the open road at 50-60mph but it eats diesel in town.

do you need to drive in town? is this your only car? were you a driver before?

we dont' drive on a day to day basis in the week as i cycle and DH walks to work, we use our rav for holidays and weekends away mainly and it's fab for camping and mountain biking (we got leather seats so they wipe clean and it takes two bikes easily).

if you need a small commuting or town car then speak to your mum and sell the rav.

It is our only car and I do need it for work as its just not possible to drop the DD's off at nursery/kids club for school and get to work for 8.30 to enable me to work 3 full days. I only do about 15 miles a day and we don't go very far at the weekend.

I suppose now I have this irrational fear that I'm going to be filling it up every week and doubling my petrol costs.

Have a look on the www.honestjohn.co.uk website.

I am useless with cars but it is the only car site that I have found that I can quite happily pootle around, and you can email in with questions etc.

Might spot something that would be a good compromise.

Just take it back and swap it for something more economical.

I've bought a new bike for £300 it will pay for it'self in less than 6 months and work is only 2 miles away in an economical people carrier (diesel galaxy!)

If saying you can't afford to run it means your mum offers to help you financially thus making you feel even more beholden and guilty - then perhaps lie, saying it's too big you're afraid of it or can't park it (or something equally wussy ?

I think you should tell her you're very grateful, but need something smaller, and exchange it.

Swap it, I'm sure she won't mind.

Be honest, your mum is trying to help yo, I'm sure she'd be devastated if she thought that you were this upset because of a gift.

Swap it.

I would change the car otherwise it will cause resentment - either with you being stressed as no money and having to rely on mummy to bail you out (are you sure this isn't what she wanted?? does she like to "control" you? buying a car without consulting you is very controlling) or with your husband as he didnt want it.

Take it back and get something smaller. As others have said, I can't see the issue. You say your mum is approachable and unlikely to mind, and your husband disinterested/upset by the stress, so it's in everyone's interest to change the ruddy thing :)