To talk to my boss about this?

[FudgeGirl]

I'm gutted.

My boss asked me to work on a specific project (can't really specify - sorry) with a colleague.

We did a presentation together on this a while back, went really well.

But I've had the feeling that since we started working jointly on this (I was unofficially doing this project to help a colleague out who has since left) that I'm not getting the recognition I deserve.

Basically, my colleague has attended meetings with top bosses to talk about this project that I'm not invited to. They have taken the presentation we did together to other people - without inviting me or even feeding back to me until I actually asked about how it went.

The work I'm doing involves a lot of unpaid out of hours work that I'm doing myself that my colleague doesn't contribute to - that's fine, I do it unpaid and that's my decision.

But I feel I'm putting more in, so should at least be invited to meetings and more involved. Colleague also has ignored emails that I've sent to them and others about work I've done on the project/keeping them in the loop.

Told my manager about this today and he says he'll fully back me and this needs nipping in the bud, and that this does sound unfair to him.

I posed the question to him that maybe this person doesn't like me - and instead of saying "don't be silly", he says "hmmmm, maybe it could be that".

So I'm gutted, and probably being silly - because after what this person has done to me, I don't like them either!

AIBU to feel completely disrespected?

Your colleague may be taking advantage of you but it sounds like your manager will deal with it appropriately.

Whatever the reason you have a great manager and it sounds like you are going to have it sorted out, which is good. I don't think the reason behind it matters in the long run, I get why you want to know but suspect it's probably just a role you fell into and it's the way it turned out without anyone really meaning it.

Thanks.

I don't know why I'm feeling so gutted by my manager basically agreeing that perhaps they don't like me -just hurts a bit.

I'm still hoping it's totally not meant to be personal or because they dislike me. Feeling a bit crap about stuff at the moment and maybe a bit paranoid :(

I would take solace in the fact that your colleague is treating you badly because of their attitude towards you, not because your work is deficient.

The colleague probably feels intimidated by your ability.

Sorry, that sounds muddled.

Your colleague is jealous of your competence.

Its not unreasonable to be gutted, but on the other hand no-one is universally liked. I would take it as read that the other person really doesnt like you, as I think if it was anything less obvious than this your boss would have probably been more ambivalent in his response to you.

It is useful that your boss has let you know this - now you know where you stand with the other person, and can proceed on that basis.

I think the manager said 'hmm maybe..' to you so you didn't think that he was dismissing your concerns - if he'd said 'don't be silly' then you might easily have turned around and worried that he wasn't listening to you, so he wasn't actually saying that the other person doesn't like you.

from what you have written it does seem like the other person has a definite agenda to cut you out of the project as far as is possible, whilst at the same time advancing their own career, reputation and contacts. Whether he is doing it because he dislikes you or because he has seen an opportunity to trample on someone else in order to further himself is a moot point, it sounds like he would have done the same to anyone.

But it does sound like your manager is on the case and so that should help.

Is your colleague actively cutting you out of things or is it just happening - for example, did your colleague organise the meetings with the top bosses himself or did they contact him? Agree that even if they did contact him he should still have invited you to the meeting but there could be an issue that he has created by inferring that he is leading the project and you are the underling so only he needs to go to the meetings which is something that hopefully your boss will be able to manage with the big bosses as well as your colleague.

good luck, hope it gets sorted out but don't take it too personally - sounds just like you have been unlucky in having to do this project with an ambitious and selfish colleague

This is a really good boss. That is what you should be concentrating on. Bad colleagues are a far lesser evil than a bad boss.