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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my DD to have sweetner?

26 replies

Tw1nkle · 22/03/2011 16:47

My MIL has been looking after my DD today, and she knows that I don't have any sweetner at all (it makes me feel ill), and she also knows that i don't want my DD having any (there is no need, she is only 2.4).
So when i got back she went into the kitchen and came back with a half drank bottle of flavoured water, and asked it if was ok for her (DD) to be drinking it (after she had already clearly drank half the bottle!!!).
I kept calm and told her i'd prefer it if she tipped that drink down the plug and refilled the bottle with plain water - which she then did.
But AIBU to assume that she wouldn't/shouldn't give DD sweetner in the first place?!!?

OP posts:

Rachiebabes11 · 22/03/2011 17:11

No you're not at all! At the end of the day, you are the mother and what you say should go as far as your children are concerned. You say no sweetners, well then your MIL should respect that and not give your DD any.

extremepie · 22/03/2011 17:55

I also really really hate sweeteners, I hate the taste and what they can potentially to do your brain!
I really don't want to give them to my kids either but so many drinks/sweets/food things especially those aimed at kids have it in, it frustrates me no end!
I bought a cup of juice for my son in Tesco the other day, as they were having a fund-raising red nose day bake sale thingy and the juice was SO strong and sweet neither of us could drink it, I had to ask them to top it up with water :)

MadameCastafiore · 22/03/2011 17:57

I cut all jiuces with sweetner out of DS's diet and his excema cleared up completely so I cut it out of the rest of the families diet and I immediately lost 7lbs - it fecks with your body and makes you crave sweet things more so I completely agree with you - although I would let my kids have juice as long as it didn't have sweetner in - they have robinson's natural juice.

ilovemyhens · 22/03/2011 18:58

Neither of my dcs have ever had any sweeteners. They're disgusting and nobody really knows what the long term health implications are.

Original poster

Tw1nkle · 22/03/2011 19:06

My DD loves juice - I give her watered down fruit juice - mainly apple juice, so no added sugar or sweeteners.
I do understand that she will probably have sweetenrs when I'm not about (childrens parties, school parties, friends house etc), but I do expect my MIL to not give her any. My MIL has loads of sweetners every day - she drinks diet drinks and has 2 sweetners in her coffee - annoyingly, she plays a game with my DD, where my DD puts the sweetners in my MIL's coffee, my DD thinks it's great - but even that winds me up!!!

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 22/03/2011 19:12

Twinkle, you need to chill! I'm sure putting the sweeteners in is really fun. Tbh, I wouldn't go out of my way to give them. But sometimes they have some of my diet coke in McD's as a treat. It won't kill them. I think you when someone is taking care of your kids you should be grateful and not inflict rules on them which at the end of the day won't make a jot of difference. Can't stand those flavoured waters myself, but if your dd liked it as a one off, that's fine. I know a lot of people, especially with PFB's get on their high horse's about one thing or another - no sugary things like biscuits/ cakes, but raisins are fine . Or no fizzy drinks but squash is ok. At the end of the day, you have to relax a bit about all of it and not get too anal about small amounts, especially from other people.

theredhen · 22/03/2011 19:29

I too think you need to chill a bit and if someone is looking after your child, accept that they might not do it "your way" and it doesn't mean that it is wrong. 1 bottle of flavoured water is neither here nor there in my opinion.

Personally I don't particularly like sweeteners and we have never had them in everyday drinks, but that doesn't stop me from allowing DS to have diet coke when we're out (which at least stops his teeth from rotting) and he's at an age now where a lot of his friends are drinking these horrendous caffeine, energy drinks which I don't like the idea of at all.

Original poster

Tw1nkle · 22/03/2011 21:20

I do except that if someone is looking after my child, then i should be grateful and that one bottle of water won't really hurt.

It's more of the principal, and it puts me off leaving my DD with my MIL - as i can't trust her with simple things and to respect my wishes.

She left a new bottle of flavoured water in the fridge - she knows how i feel about it, so I've put it in the bin!

I can't understand it really. i think I'll have to re-iterate why i dislike sweetner so much!

OP posts:

PaisleyLeaf · 22/03/2011 21:24

Are you leaving her some juice that you are happy with?

whatagradeA · 22/03/2011 21:25

Are you sure that she knew it had sweetener in it? She might have looked at the label (ie the picture on the front not read the ingredients like you and I would ) and thought 'water and fruit, lovely, DGD will be allowed that' and been pleased with herself for finding a little treat that everyone's happy with..... except you weren't!!

troisgarcons · 22/03/2011 21:27

Don't be so bloody pretentious.

If you are going to dump your child on a free baby sitting service at least have the courtesy to provide a full packed lunch, complete with evian and a laundry service.

SecretNutellaFix · 22/03/2011 21:27

Paisley- why does a child need juice, if she's perfectly happy with tapwater?

TeeBee · 22/03/2011 21:29

Artificial sweetners are very bad for a child's kidneys. I wouldn't be that impressed either - but I would just explain to her why.

squeakytoy · 22/03/2011 21:31

The amount in one drink, on an occasional basis really is not going to do any longterm damage.

PaisleyLeaf · 22/03/2011 21:32

She doesn't need juice Secret. The OP said she gives her apple juice. And it seems the MIL would also like to give her some juice as a bit of a treat.

MerryMarigold · 22/03/2011 21:32

Sometimes grandparents enjoy 'spoiling' a bit and imo, that's their prerogative. Maybe tapwater fine at home, but at granny's a little treat is nice. My parents give the kids cocoa pops when they go and stay in the hols, and I don't mind. They know it's special for their grandparents' house/ holidays and don't ask for it at home. Obviously if your MIL is taking care of your dd everyday it's a bit different but small treats every so often are nice for gp's to be able to give.

SecretNutellaFix · 22/03/2011 21:35

so why didn't the MIL give that, instead of something she knew the OP disapproved of. Sounds very passive-aggressive to me.

NewPathways · 22/03/2011 21:37

But sweetners have Aspartame in them which is REALLY bad for kids. I wonder if your MIL knows that kids don't have it?

Maybe you should tell her OP.

MerryMarigold · 22/03/2011 21:38

...maybe MIL didn't have apple juice. Or maybe she wanted to give something a bit different to what she has at home and thought, "I know, some water with a bit of taste, that sounds healthy and right up DIL's street!".

Passive-aggressive is such a buzz word on here at the moment

SaggyHairyArse · 22/03/2011 21:38

Treats are fine, sweeteners not so fine in my house. I would rather my kids were given full sugar Coke than a Fruit Shoot for example.

MerryMarigold · 22/03/2011 21:39

You can get full sugar Fruit Shoots too

[runs for cover]

SaggyHairyArse · 22/03/2011 21:50

The low-sugar and no added sugar ones have aspartame in them. I just saw the My-5 ones which are seemingly water, juice and Vit C. I used to let my DS have Oasis and then read the label, I was duped!

missmehalia · 22/03/2011 21:53

at MerryMarigold

confuddledDOTcom · 22/03/2011 21:59

I was thinking about Fruit Shoot reading this. My eldest was premature and her bowels don't work properly because of it. Pretty much the only food rule we have is no Fruit Shoot because they cause constipation (fortunately she doesn't like cola at all or fizz so we don't have to worry about pop) and with the amount of Movicol she takes to make her bowels work anywhere near normal, she doesn't need anything bunging her up. But does anyone listen? Nope. I'm mean Mummy spoiling the fun. Like talking a 4 year old through doing a poo as though she was giving birth is fun! She likes juice with half water, water and milk so she's not hard to cater for. Worst is telling Daddy not to give Fruit Shoot! You'd think he's been through it long enough to know!

FoxyRevenger · 22/03/2011 22:04

Well it wouldn't occur to me straight off that flavoured water had sweetener in it.

Passive aggressive That might be a wee bit on the paranoid side.

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