To quit?

[Boobz]

We moved abroad to a third world country in Africa with DH's job. I have 2 kids under 2, and to make sure I kept my CV current and to earn some cash to help save for our next house when we return to London, I got a well paid job which I started 2 months ago.

But I hate it. I am under-qualified, so am constantly having a confidence crisis and feel like I a bit of a fraud. The working practices are very frustrating, to add to the stress of feeling ill-equiped anyway. I watch the clock until I go home and then moan to DH about how I am really not enjoying our first posting abroad.

I want to quit, but would then be a quitter, which I have never been before, and don't want to start now. We don't need the money to live here comfortably (DH gets over-seas allowances so his salary is very good whilst we're abroad) but will need me to be working when we go back to the UK as we need to trade up in house, size wise, so I shouldn't really be sitting on my arse for 2 years as then my CV gets even more cob-webby as I have already taken out 2 years to have babies.

But I'm just not happy. Is it reasonable to be unhappy for 2 years doing this job so I can keep CV up to date and earn pots of money to put towards a deposit on a bigger house, or is it better to quit, enjoy being at home with the kids whilst they are little but then struggle when we get back to the UK?

Am torn. I feel like I have to just get on with it and stop moaning - suck it up - but I am so stressed / miserable working here all the time.

Sigh.

2 kids under 2? Quit for sure. Lots of women take time out until their kids at school.

Give yourself another month and if you still hate it, leave. It can take time to settle down in a job and I always feel inadequate at the start. And I'm a confident person!

Quit! If you are stressed and miserable you will probably make your whole family stressed and miserable too. If you don't need the money then quit and be a happy person and make everyone else happier too!

Don't worry about the bigger better house in 2 years time. None of us know what the future will hold and if you've disappeared down a miserable black hole in the meantime, none of you will be able to enjoy the bigger better house anyway.

You may find interesting, worthwhile things you can do instead of this job - you might even find another job that didn't make you miserable.

I spent quite a lot of time in a job that made me feel physically sick every day - it was difficult to explain why this was to everyone, but it was true. Once I'd left it, I felt brilliant! I was poorer, but I was a much nicer person to be around.

You're in a completely different country, out of your comfort-zone and you've only been back in a job for 2 months. Not uncommon to feel underqualified and out of your depth in such a short period of time. I'd give it rather longer and start believing in myself a little more. Act like you know what you're doing .... it's what men do, after all. If you still don't like it after six months you can make a different decision but you won't be plagued with 'what ifs'.

But horsemagdal, if I wait until the kids are at school (and we want more kids) it will be years before I get back to work, and then I will be so behind where I should be that the salary would come crashing down too. I know life isn't all about money, but supporting 2 or more children, in London, on DH's salary alone, is hard and I don't want to put extra pressure on us as a family by not being able to contribute properly (whatever that means).

DH will support me whichever I choose, but will secretly wish I kept the job so we can bank the cash and make me more employable when we do return. I don't want to let him down.

But I know what you mean pgpg - I do feel physically sick some days, and wonder if this is what life is supposed to be about.

But DH couldn't and wouldn't stop working because he didn't like his job, so why should I have that choice?

This is about the only "proper" private company here with a decent marketing dept (which is what I do) so if I did change jobs, it would be even worse in terms of professionalism, and certainly the salary would not compare. So it would be a case of doing something completely different - maybe English teaching (which I did in my youth in Cambodia for a couple of years, so isn't that much of a stretch, but again the cash would be minimal, so I'd probably just be better off at home with the nippers).

I'm going around in circles here, aren't I?

Yes, who knows what's going to happen in 2 years time - but in my head I think I should be maximising my chances of getting that next house and getting a good job when I get home, whereas in my heart I just want to slink off out the door with an "at least I tried".

I will definitely give it another month, as I have my 3 month probation appraisal - maybe the decision will be taken out of my hands if I'm doing as badly as I think I am anyway. But what's worse - quitting or getting fired?!

Life's too short - one day you will look back and think "what the hell did I think I was going". Quit!