OH's ex contacting him

[IceRoses]

Hi all
I've been with my DP for nearly 5 years.We're engaged,have 2 small dc and have just bought a house together.
His ex(who he was with for 2-3 months)keeps on writing to him.She sends him private facebook messages and emails.
I've seen this when he has left the computer open/didn't log out etc.(I don't try to hack into his emails btw!)
The other day she wrote to him saying how she keeps dreaming about him and that's why she had to get in touch etc.
The thing that annoys me aswell is that he writes back to her and I don't know what he is writing!
I told him that this is not on.I cannot imagine in a thousand years contacting an ex and being flirty knowing full well he is with somebody else.
DP goes mad at me saying he can't help it that she keeps contacting him and what is supposed to do 'tell her to bugger off'..
She is in her mid 40's with teenage children and is in a relationship.I think DP thinks that I'm immature as I'm in my late 20's and I don't want to seem jealous.
Do you think I should send her a message?What would you do?Please don't flame me!!!

Being too nice hasn't got me anywhere.
I just asked him why he was in contact with these women.He rolled his eyes and said 'err whatever' and walked off.

This man does not care for your feelings and shows blatant contempt for you.

I suggest you re post this in relationships for some advice and support.

Oh and OP not every man uses porn - my DH certainly does not and never would. I am 100% certain of that!

Next time he leaves the computer logged in you can see what he writes back to her on FB by clicking on messages then click on 'sent'. It is probably nothing and should put your mind at ease. If you wanted to stop the contact you could block her.

Hell yeah, he should tell her to bugger off! Infact, if she keeps on he may have to be a tad firmer. One reason he may not be telling the desperate sounding mare where to go is it massages his ego. Or he's keeping his options open.

YANBU at all and as for "every man looks at porn" that may be true but to me at least, porn isn't a problem. Looking for escorts is a huge no-no. Not the same as porn at all.

I agree with Bogeyface- you need to have a proper discussion as to what is ok and what isn't. You sound like you've made it pretty clear you're not happy and he is disregarding your feelings which just isn't fair at all.

IceRoses, I'm afraid I'll agree with everyone above, plus... You seem to know an awful lot about what's in his laptop, FB, phone texts etc. which can only mean one thing: something is bugging you, you can't trust him.

He rolled his eyes and said 'err whatever' and walked off.

What a complete arse. That's no way to conduct a loving relationship, sorry.

I think there's more to this than what's in the OP. Possibly more of the same and it's been going on for a while?

IceRoses... Do you think your partner's behaviour will improve if and when you marry? Will you be content or forever wondering what else he's doing and whom he's talking to?

Your problem is not with the internet, or with this woman. Its that your partner is a cheating cunt.

Why are you with a man who treats you so badly?

christ almighty, fgs don't marry this lying, porn-addicted, cruel tosser

you will be making a serious mistake if you do

You have posted about this twat before haven't you ?

I was quite good friends with my XP for years after we broke up, and DH and him got along well. One day we (me and XP) went out for lunch with my DS in tow, and he (a) pretended to be a little family when shop assistant approached him, (b) touched my face during lunch, and (c) sent a text saying he'd "always love me" after I left.

I went straight home, told DH, and have nothing beyond minimal "happy birthday" contact with him on FB since.

Your DP needs to man up and set boundaries.

Sorry, didn't read rest of thread before posting. Looks like there's a lot more going on here beyond just him needing to man up!

My DH is in contact with a previous girlfriend on facebook. I am friends with an ex boyfriend so don't have a problem with it. At one point though she was writing to him quite a lot however, I don't do jealousy unless really provoked and I found it funny (but I knew their history and knew there was no way he'd go back there) and kept joking that she was after him. He couldn't see it, really couldn't see that she was flirting...that was until she sent him the very cheap necklace with boxing gloves on that he had left at her house when he was about 17-18. She has kept them for 13 years!!! At that point he stopped replying to her emails via facebook as I think it scared him that she was still the same old stalker type lol. Anyway my point is does he see it as flirting? If he can not see that she is flirting with him then thats maybe why he has got so cross and doesn't see any reason to stop.

Oh think I have missed some of thread.....sorry. he seems a disrespecting idiot.