To be nervous of going to the toddler group

[catwhiskers10]

Finally arranged to take DD who is 1 to a toddler group. I have been wanting to take her to a group for a while so she can have the opportunity of meeting other children and hopefully I can find someone to chat to aswell.
The reason I have taken so long is that I am very shy with new people and feel that I always end up saying something stupid. I'm very worried about making conversation with the other mums/dads at the group.
We go for the first time tomorrow and I suppose I'm seeking reassurance from you kind MNers!

It can take a while to feel comfortable at these groups so don't give up if you don't enjoy it the first time, I know I found it really hard at first.

Look for someone with a friendly face, go up and introduce yourself and say it's your first time. Try chatting to several different people, the group leader is often a good person to start with and they can introduce you to others aswell. Good luck!

Good luck - I come across as confident but I find new groups hard as well
Best conversation starter is nice comments about the parents children - how old are they etc.

Some groups are really friendly -but however you find it go a few times as it can take a while

It used to scare the pants off me as well. I think its cos i work and dont really get involved with any of them mums. I did manage to talk to a few of the and told them it was my first time and they were always ok. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Im also not the worlds most confident person which probably doenst help. The school run still fills me with fear as well ha ha ha !!

I always think of a few conversational icebreakers, really basic stuff, then after we've started I throw in "Oh I'm kenobi by the way, and this is DD." Always approach one or two people, not a big group, as you might get bounced out again (not rudeness, just how groups work) and that will sap your confidence.

Very basic and inoffensive questions:
"How old is your DD/DS?"
"Oh I love your DD/DS's shoes/tops etc. Where did you get it from?"
"It was lovely and sunny last weekend, wasn't it? Did you do anything?"

I am a basically awkward person who has been forced to get better at this sort of thing by 1) a fearless mum 2) my job. I find it is so much easier if you go with a prepared script and remember that EVERYONE, absolutely everyone, is less confident than you think they are.
I come across as deeply confident and I spend half my life shrivelling inside like cellophane on a fire! but I always end up having a nice time as I make the effort to break the ice and people appreciate it. Also like crw says, it can take time, don't assume it won't get better if the first time is hard.

sorry - "I come across as deeply confident BUT I spend half my life shrivelling inside like cellophane on a fire"

Also if there are any dads at group, make an effort with them.
DH is a sahd one day a week and whenever he goes to group most of the women don't make an effort to talk to him so as a consequence he is really grateful and engaged when they do!

Please do just go, it changed my life! I'm a SAHM of 2 DC and never went anywhere! Friend dragged me to toddler group, I was so scared I thought I would vomit! and I now have a great circle of friends that I can turn to whenever I need to

You really won't regret it, no matter how nervous you feel

I totally understand where you are coming from.

Good for you for deciding to go, and I agree with KateMush who said it might take a few times to really feel happy there so don't give up after the first time.

It's hard walking in somewhere new but remember although others might look like they all know each other, they might have only met that day too! And all of them had to go the first time too, and almost certainly remember it's not easy.

Kenobi's conversation starters are perfect !

Good luck!

I understand where you are coming from as a grandparent who minds daughters children.

I was terrified the first time I talked myself up to going to the vilage toddlers. My DD is a new commer to this village and she did not have a circle of friends to fall back on.

So I threw myself into a mining community toddlers group and it is the best thing I could have done! The first couple of weeks I felt a bit like a spare part, but I made the effort to mix as I am very shy and was expecting to find it to be all young mothers/fathers, but now realise that there is a wide range of people who use these groups.

But please stick it out as my Granddaughter and I have made some very good friends, and just to get some adult conversation is a blessing.

Hope you enjoy it, but please give it a go.

Definitely give it a go, hopefully once you get there it won't be half as scary as you expect and you will feel fine, and try to stick with it a couple of weeks to give you chance to meet some of the same people again and before you know it you will probably enjoy it and have loads of people to talk to.
I was quite shy before but I think the more you go out and meet new people whether in a toddler group type situation or whatever else, you get better at it so you will start to find it easier and it will help with your shyness
Also it will be really nice for your dd, hopefully she will enjoy it being around the other children

Good luck today catwhiskers. Let us know how it went!

Well it all went fine today. As I expected it wasn't as bad as I imagined!! DD kept me occupied running after her so I didnt have time to feel awkward and I managed to chat to a few people although they all approached me first!
I think we will get on fine in the weeks to come.
Thanks everyone for your encouragement and kind words!

nice to hear it went well :)

Fab!

Oh that is great - and sign of a friendly group that they approached you!