to think 'Quavers' at 8AM is horrible?!

[TotorosOcarina]

My mum takes the kids once in a while and TBH I'm not keen on it.

They smoke, they have a stable door in the kitchen that they smoke at but you still reek when you leave.

They go to bed at 7pm here, but are still up watching films at 10 at hers!

She has no concept of appropriatness when it comes to said films. Shes let them watch iron man2 and the new Alice in wonderland (they freaked me out!)

She has been getting them more kiddy films but I like to check them out first.

But the thing that winds me up most is the sweets/food.

She collects them from school with something (like a double decker!!) then they eat that and she usually has crisps waiting in the car and from the second they get in the house they have what they want and are never told no.

When I am there I limit it, but I can't control what she gives them when I'm not.

Last time I rang when I woke up at 8am and she said 'DS1 let grandad open your quavers'

I said WHY are they having quavers at 8am??

she said 'oh they've been up since 6:30 and had 2 bowls of coco pops so its ok'

They come home absolutly buzzing and fighting.

I don't want to NOT let them go because they do enjoy it (I don't enjoy them being there really, I'd prefer to have them home) but I've told her time and time again to cut down and she never does.

My gran is the same but we don't leave the kids there so we say 'thanks' for the big bag of crap sweets she gives them and we usually bin it (its all awful stuff)

BTW i'm not a 'foodie' we consume out fair share of treaty things in this house but there its just constant and excessive to the extreme!

Depends how often I think. Regular as in weekly then I would be tempted to try and intervene. But a once in a while thing I think you'd have to let it go. It's not going to damage the kids, a bit over-indulgence by doting grandparents is a lovely thing (I certainly have fond memories). How old are the kids? Any chance you can rope them into being 'sensible' i.e. say only have 2 treat things at GPs and put the rest in a bag (I realise not all kids are game for this)

The film thing I would intervene on and make sure she has an appropriate stock, and not to let them watch anything else. Say you've had some sleeping/nightmare issues.

The smoke thing is more worrying, the second hand smoke can be very damaging. Can you give them any scary information booklets about the damage it can do?

I would be more worried about the smoking and films than the quavers.

Yanbu at all!

But no doubt someone will come along and tell you that as you are getting 'free childcare' you should be grateful and shut up and let them be given crakc/whatever.

yes i remember being stuffed full of sweets at my grannies too and remember it very fondly, she also smoked int he house.

Difference is were alot more aware of the damage now.

OP, YANBU. As others have said, it would be the smoking and films that annoyed me. I do smoke, but don't around DD.
Quavers are totally acceptable for breakfast. My DD would tell you that.

Yanbu about anything. Personally I think quavers at any time of the day are disgusting :) People around here like to give them as weaning foods for babies

I have seen Alice in Wonderland and I have to be honest DS2 who is 3 loves it we watch it too much a lot and he is not freaked by it.Although some children may be I suppose.

I agree over the smoking not being right. The quavers well they are not part of breakfast if they have been up from 6am, they are more of a morning snack .

I think you need to talk to your mum and ask her to limit the sweets etc if it bothers you that much. I would say it also depends on the age of the children.

oh they are 6 and 4.

i know its ocassional and blanaced out by our everyday life, but its just my annoyance at expressing my concerns and being 'poo poo'd' by her!

My DB and I used to visit our great aunt back in the 70s about once a fortnight. She lived a ten minute walk from our house and from the age of about 9 she would always give us a piece of shortbread and a small cream sherry! My mum and dad only knew this after she had died ( when I was about 13) but we never came to any harm! I still don't like sherry!
But as a regular childcare thing I think you do need to come to some sort of compromise betwen having the right to spoil their grandchildren a little and doing what anyone looking after someone elses children should do and adhere to parents wishes on what they allow their children to eat and drink!

much prefer last nights cold curry, as long as the cat has not licked it!!!

yanbu
my mum does things like give DS coco pops for breakfast "because he asked for them" (there's this word, "no"...) but even she would be horrified at this - the crap needs to be alongside real meals, surely

I think it depends whether they're being allowed to wash them down with coke or not? They might be thirsty otherwise.

My mum takes the kids once in a while

The only thing I would be insisting about would be the smoking and the films.

Grandparents like to treat their gc's - it's annoying but let them do it. Yesterday, my dc's had sweets, biscuits, ice cream and lemonade at their nan's. It's not a regular occurence so I don't worry.