To still bf my 11 mo

[KD0706]

Im posting in AIBU to get a range of responses. Please please don't anybody turn this into another bf v ff thread...

Basic history, DD was prem, fed through tube, I expressed, worked v hard to establish bf and since established we've had no problems bf.
Since she got home from hospital she's never had a bottle always just fed straight from me.
She starts nursery four days a week in four weeks and I've allowed her to reverse cycle so she won't be looking for bf while at nursery.
Rough feeding pattern: 8am, 4.30pm, bedtime, 2x overnight.
Also she's BLW and not great with her solids.

DH thinks I should stop bf or at least mix feed. He thinks this will make her sleep better at night and allow him to share the load more. I also think he feels a year (ish) is long enough to bf a baby and doesn't want me feeding her longer term.

I want to keep bf because I enjoy it, it's easy, it's the food tailored to DD personally, I think why start with bottles now (she takes a little water from a Sippy cup but nothing like a full feed), it won't be forever and she's only little once. And (although I had a little tantrum last night) I don't hugely mind getting up inthe night to her. Plus since she starts nursery so soon I don't want to mess with her routine more than I need to.

Sorry this has been long!

I'm going to show this thread to DH. Mumsnet jury - who is right??

" I shall probably stop when she is two"

That's what I thought :o
DS is now 4 and still has bed time feeds

Yanbu and if you don't mind night feeds then don't give them up. My night feeding stopped when my DS was ready- sometime after a year but we cosleep so I couldnt really tell you exactly when because I never really woke up for them anyway! :)

YANBU.

Your reasons to carry on BF are good enough for you, and that should be good enough for your DH.

My DD is 20 months and enjoys her mama milk.

I went back to work part-time when she was 12 months and she was fine with cows milk or water from her dad or nana.

Yes, bollocks to not feeding at night - you said yourself you've allowed her to reverse cycle and presumably this means you want her to be able to catch up with milk feeds at night. My ebf DS took ages to get into solids, and was getting most of his nutrition from bm, so why would you want to limit that? I did co-sleep though which meant I didn't have to get up to him. Also it was nice when I went back to work (when he was 11 months) to feel like I could do some night-time parenting to make up for the lack of presence during the day.

I bet you find that once she starts nursery and has a full and stimulating day there, she'll sleep more at night anyway.

YANBU! Good luck

Carry on - you're doing just great.
I wouldn't bother with a bottle at all. Get her straight onto sippy cup for nursery. At 12 months she can have whole milk at nursery, or you can express and she can have some BM at nursery.

YANBU, but good luck cutting out the night feeds :o DS is nearly 18 months, I'm on my 3rd bout of mastitis, and still plan to keep feeding him until he is 2/self weans/DH loses his temper again/I lose my temper over the repeated night feeds.

DH has asked me to stop bfeeding (when DS was 15 months IIRC), we had a reasoned conversation about it (along the lines of 'it costs more to FF, and you would have to start doing night feeds'), and he has agreed to leave it be for now.

It's really lovely being able to sit down and feed DS after a day at work too - nice cuddles to reconnect after being apart all day. I know you can do that if you FF, but if BFing, your DH can't take over and leave you doing the washing up whilst he relaxes :o

My two were full-term babies and I bf them both till 12-13 months - including many times during the night. Didn't bother with bottles at all (didn't get on with expressing) and they went straight to using sippy cups after that. I co-slept, so they both snacked during the night for comfort more than food, I think - fine with me.

When I was ready to stop the night-feeds, then DH partially co-slept with each of them - putting them in the cot, and bringing them into the futon in their room with him when they woke up. It took just 2 weeks with each of them for them to begin sleeping through. Both really good sleepers now (age 3.5yrs and 20 mths).

DS1 was slow to get on to solids and is not a good eater even now - very picky, though eats plenty of what he likes, just not varied. DS2 took to it straight away, is a fantastic eater, chomps down lots of healthy stuff. I don't think that's related to my bf habits with either of them, just to their nature (DS1 takes after DH, also a fussy eater, and DS2 takes after me, will eat anything).

I think you've done a fantastic job, and are giving your DD a really good, healthy start in life. I wouldn't worry about her solids intake, that will come. It sounds like your DH is a nice chap who wants to take over some of the night time load - if I were you, I'd hold on to that promise and call it in later, when you're ready to stop the night feeds - just get him to go to her in the night time. No need for him to feed her, just cuddles etc. The two of them will develop their own getting-back-to-sleep routine.

But, I agree with you, best not to disrupt her current routine while she's adjusting to nursery. Leave it a month or two and then do it when she's feeling stable and you're ready. Too many changes at once will just make it harder on all of you. You will probably find, like us, that it's very quick to adjust habits when you're all ready to do it. Good luck!

YANBU

My plan was to BF until DS was at least 24 months old (as recommended) - I only made it to 14 months though and considered that 'giving up early'.

What lovely posts. Thank you everybody.

I'm going to have a chat with DH tonight, but I'm thinking I might just try to keep going as we are till she's a year adjusted age (or sooner obviously if I suddenly get fed up of night feeds). Then try to cut out night feeds but keep morning and evening. And then I can work on the last two feeds after another couple of months. Sounds easy written down but I'm sure it will be hard in practice!

Yes DH is really decent for wanting to share the night load. Bet he changes his mind after a couple of nights of night weaning!!

Hello KD0706, I would go with what feels right for you and your baby. I say this out of experience. I BFed my son till he was 7 months old and we were both happy with that. I gave up BFing only because of other mothers' accounts that the longer you BF the harder it is for the baby to give it up. All legitimate views but in hightsight I regret it: I wished I had carried on until the year. Good luck!

YADNBU. You can only do what suits you best, and it sounds like you're doing a great job!

Hang on a minute. The OP wasn't asking whether or not she should stop night feeds but whether or not she should mix feed. It sounds like she's made a conscious decision to continue with the night feeds in order to continue BFing when DD is at nursery. Agree with caz10 that there's too much of this 'old enough to do without' nonsense. Tell that to my nearly 11month old DS who feeds much more than the OP's DD and no way could make it through the night without feeding without a lot of tears all round.
It's a personal decision and partly depends on how well you can cope with the broken nights. I also don't believe it means they'll be doing it for ever!

how at all could that bu? im still bf my 2 year old and i know of women still bf their 5year olds!

UK has it all wrong, you are doing what nature intended, carry on and enjoy it, it wont last forever!

YANBU. I BF until 12.5 months and was still night feeding until 8 months as DD wasn't eating much. It felt so weird when I stopped and I felt guilty so I say do it for as long as you want to and don't feel pressured. I s'pose DP is just looking out for you.

My dd breastfed at night until 2 and my ds is 15 months and still feeds at night. Can't see any problem with that at all (except when you work nightshifts like me and leaves your husband struggling at night but that's a whole new thread!....)
I got (and still get) no end of advice/instructions on how I should be feeding my children and it took my a long time to learn to ignore it all.