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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a wee bit "hmm" about SIL's "offer" of her used luxury car?

23 replies

soangryIcouldspit · 20/03/2011 22:27

At 14K (worth about 20K in normal used-car market). BMW something something.

We live in a 2-bed ex-council in an area which has, erm, high insurance premiums due to car crime. It's not a terrible area, but a car of that calibre in our estate would make us look like we were doing something nefarious. I earn 14K a year. Dh earns about treble that, so we don't have a low income, but we are not really in the market for a car costing 14K at 6 years with many, many thousands of miles on the clock.

I would have expected that it would be obvious to family that this is not particularly the car for us. Dh is gutted as he would love a luxury car on many levels. His family have a history of making comments that make him feel a bit shit about not "earning a lot" (despite our household income being really quite fine). His parents make frequent comments about his "low income".

I just wonder what this offer is about. I don't really expect that she ever thought we would take her up on it, so why offer? It feels like another opportunity to remind us that we are the poor relations!

Hmm, in other words.

OP posts:
Original poster
soangryIcouldspit · 20/03/2011 22:27

Oh, and by the way, it was made clear to us we couldn't buy it to sell on... that would be "frowned upon".

OP posts:
dinosaurkisses · 20/03/2011 22:31

Very Hmm about your family being treated like the poor relations on a very respectable income- says A LOT more about them than it does about you imo. I'd say thanks very much, but we're looking for something a little more economical or something- they seem like the kind of people that would forever being reminding you that they "gave" you it a below market value.

RandyRussian · 20/03/2011 22:36

Accept the car graciously and make sure it's insured up to the hilt. When it gets vandalised cop the insurance payout and buy whatever you prefer.

In the sort of area I presume you to mean looking nefarious would probably earn you extra cred.

Anyway if you're so well off why are you living in such an area?

nurseblade · 20/03/2011 22:40

What kind of 6 yo BMW with thousands of miles on the clock is worth 14k?

Original poster
soangryIcouldspit · 20/03/2011 22:41

We're not so well off, we're just not poor. Tbh when we bought we were very green about the area - new city, did all the things you're supposed to do e.g. bought on edge of affluent area in area that was supposedly "up and coming" with good/outstanding schools etc. It was a starter home, we were going to stay two years.. yada yada. It's really only since having ds I have learned that the area has a little more notoriety than I would have thought. The crime stats website was, erm, enlightening Grin. If she was offering it for free, I'd take it.. but at 14K with the sort of mileage it's got, it wouldn't be very economical and is, I feel, a bit of a poisoned chalice. So we won't be accepting it, as tempting as the idea of a nice insurance payout might be!

OP posts:
Original poster
soangryIcouldspit · 20/03/2011 22:42

I have NO clue about cars, nurseblade (can't actually drive, despite best efforts Blush). Is it not worth that? Even worse!

OP posts:
MitchiestInge · 20/03/2011 22:44

I think I would rather push a Skoda than drive a BMW. You can borrow that line if it helps :)

JaneS · 20/03/2011 22:45

Like hell is it worth 20k! Grin

BeerTricksPotter · 20/03/2011 22:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorticiaAddams · 20/03/2011 22:48

I drive but apart from that have no interest in cars and wouldn't spend £14k on one.

I'd say thanks but no thanks especially if it's a high insurance area. I wouldn't feel safe parking it anywhere.

Original poster
soangryIcouldspit · 20/03/2011 22:49

Oh yeah, status is THE name of the game.

How do they feel when we park up outside theirs (e.g. when we get through the electric gates??). Dh drives an R-reg 3 door Ford Fiesta so extrapolate from that what you will! Grin

OP posts:
NewPathways · 20/03/2011 22:52

I wouldn't accept it. There's got to be some catch.

Apart from the fact your house will be constantly broken into to get the keys and parts and maintenance of a BMW cost's a fortune.

What if there is something wrong with it and you find out after you get it and then can't say anything because 'its family' Hmm then you're stuck with it.

Also, why can't they sell it on to a dealer or trade it in suspicious

I think you're better off never getting into business deals with family, it'll end in tears. You wouldn't have bought this car under any other circumstances so why get lumbered with it because your family are suggesting it.

I'd pass up on this. Too many things can go wrong and it's not a practical family car anyway.

nurseblade · 20/03/2011 22:57

Depends what series it is. Have a look here and see what you think:

autotrader.mobi/used-cars/search/results/page-1?PHPSESSID=3j7g72ak2u6m8n86itdbsrfil4

Although really that's besides the point. BMWs are wanky cars and your SIL sounds very insulting.

BeerTricksPotter · 20/03/2011 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jude89 · 21/03/2011 09:06

buy it, tell them it got nicked, and sell it!

fedupofnamechanging · 21/03/2011 09:11

sounds to me like your SIl is trying to offload her high mileage car onto you.

If she could really get £20,000 for it, I expect she would!

pjmama · 21/03/2011 09:13

Just say thanks, but no thanks. Whether this offer was in good faith or a rather sneaky way of putting you down, just don't let it bother you. If it's the latter, it says more about the type of people THEY are than anything else. It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your situation, if you're happy.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 21/03/2011 09:16

Don't buy it (for many reasons already stated above - mainly in your OP!!) but also because they are beyond expensive to maintain properly. Just say 'thanks but no thanks'... and carry on as you are.

Lambethlil · 21/03/2011 09:31

Its incredibly difficult to sell used cars privately- she's unlikely to get anything like 20k. In the past we've sold on cars to family members to save the hassle, but it was done with both parties' acknowledgement that they were doing us a favour rather than the other way round. Walk away!

AxisofEvil · 21/03/2011 09:36

Actually, there is probably less malice and snobbery to this than people think. If SIL thinks that OP and her Dh would like a nice car then she is probably just trying to do a nice thing by giving her brother an opportunity to get a nice car cheaper than in the market. If I were the SIL and that is what I was wanting to achieve then I?d also not being want the car sold on. But if you don?t want it then just say thanks but no thanks.

CrapBag · 21/03/2011 09:39

Your household income is £56k and you get comments about low income! Shock

I would be happy with half of that as our income.

YANBU, don't buy the car, just tell them its not what you want and leave it at that.

Used car for £20k, Hmm. BMW's aren't the be all and end all. If it was an Aston Martin or something for that money, then yes, it would be great, but there are loads of BMW's around, they aren't that great.

VivaLeBeaver · 21/03/2011 09:43

There is no way I'd spend 14k on a second hand car, even if its worth that much I couldn't bring myself to do it. Luxury cars are just staus symbols, they're expensive for parts, servicing, etc.

My neighbour has an audi and I mentioned to him that we're friends with the manager of the Audi garage. Neighbour looked shocked and said "why don't you have an Audi then". Eh, 'cos I don't want one. Hmm But he seemed quite perplexed that someone might prefer a Toyota over an Audi. Grin

If you need a 2nd hand car you could get something like a 4 year old Mondeo for about 7k. Cheaper to run, insure, repair, etc and you get 7k left in your bank. What's not to like?

StealthPolarBear · 21/03/2011 09:48

If the car is 'worth' £20k and she'd be willing to sell it to you for £14k then ask her to sell it and give you £5k

You get £5k
She gets £15k for a car she would have accepted £14k for
Someone else gets a £20k car for £15k

Everyone's a winner!

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