to think this was unsafe of FIL?

[aliciasilverstone]

he has never been v careful with 14month old DD and has a very over confident 'I know what I'm doing, I've raised 4 kids' attitude, pushing her pram down steep dangerous paths with sheer drops and putting her in a baby swing when she was tiny and could have fallen out.

Today he lifted her on a walk and put her on his shoulders (without asking)then proceeded to walk along with one hand casually pressed against her back and his other arm swinging freely at his side. I was just gearing myself up to say something (I am so crap at standing up to ppl) when DH came along and asked him to put her down. AIBU that this is not a safe way to carry a 14 month old?

Stupid man. Listen....SPEAK OUT FOR YOUR KDS SAFETY!

Seriously. He could trip, stumble, someone else could bmp into him,

she's your child...to protect. DON'T let him do hings you are not comfortable with...if you get a feeling it's not safe then it isn't. It's called Mothers Instinct and it's rarely wrong.

Just say "No...put her down. Or...no don't do that. And remove her from the situation yourself.

He's only a man not a monster.

What Skinit said. She can't speak for yourself, you need to speak for her. If you don't feel it's safe, say so. So it causes a row? So what?

Little bit of a little bit of b.

It's what grandads are for doing things that you're too nervous about doing. I would say that there is an element of precious parent about you and also an element of man not thinking about him.

Talk to him, but try not to tread too firmly on his grandfatherly toes. :)

See, I must be really crap, because I just don't see anything really that wrong about what FIL has done.

We used to get carried on shoulders all the time has kids, can you really fall out a baby swing if the baby is put in properly! Bar hanging the swing upside down with child in it though. I mean how tiny is tiny?

I was putting my 2 in the swings at the park around 3 months old. They loved it.

she was 6 months in the baby swing but he left her unattended in it, she could easily have fallen to one side and out of the swing as she is very tiny.

thanks for replies, glad I am not the only one that thought it wasn't safe.

4FoxAche - i don't either and my own father did it with my DC - but i can see how a nervous parent would be shocked and abhored by such things (the on the shoulder thing) if it's not been part of their upbringing.

As is always the way with AIBU. Talk to the other party :)

Well 6 months is hardly tiny is it.

And you didn't mention him leaving her unattended. That was unsafe yes, but putting a 6 month old in a swing, no sorry.

I don't see a problem with the shoulder riding, baby in a swing etc so I'm inclined to think you might be being a touch PFB about things, but she is YOUR child not his so if you're not comfortable with ANYTHING he or indeed anyone else is doing, then SPEAK UP.

My Mum warned me that a lot of loving male relatives would chuck my babies in the air and generally do dangerous stuff wih them...and she was right! And she was right when she told me to tell them no!

I chuck my babies in the air too. My 6month old, in particular, is in fits of giggles every time I do it.

I carry DD on my shoulders - although have a friend who prefers me not to do it in her company as she has seen a terrible accident this way. I can see both sides but DD loves being up high for a shoulder carry.

I might carry DD this way but I would hold her securely round the middle with both hands - not with just one hand flat behind her back.