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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I keep reading about the "dinner party circuit"Whats it all about?

100 replies

GabbyLoggon · 18/03/2011 14:22

Please dont say its just a dinner which is also a party.

I want the inside story...successes and disasters ...Is it a CLASS phrase?

Someone said it was a phrase created by young professionals....

Not Sloane Rangers? (does anyone on Mumsnet remember them.) It was all the rage . They said YA for yes. Then they seemed to fade away.

We all do eventually.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 19/03/2011 08:58

I have white linen tablecloths and napkins, 100 year old china, crystal glasses and plated silver cutlery, all of which I get out frequently, laying it onto my repro dark wood table with glee.

beesimo · 19/03/2011 09:00

I live in a very rural area where its difficult sometimes for unmarried people to get together especially if their knocking on a bit. The main reasons we have dinner parties here is to try and matchmake it is part of being a married woman that you help your single friends out. So if a nice new vet say comes to the area beesimo makes sure her single friends will get the opportunity to meet him. Old fashioned prehaps but women should be prepared to but themselves out a bit for the sisterhood.

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 19/03/2011 12:11

Thanks for all the posts; they were entertaining and educational. I would just like to do a D.P once.

I am a oncer with a lot of things. Nothing is quiet like the first time.

There was once a bril skit on posh people talking
tosh. ( I do my share.)

I cant remember the programme. It was BBC TV and John Bird was one of the chatters. It was very funny.

Like summer today in the East Midlands. I am still dressed for winter. (But it was a frost last night.)

OP posts:
UnquietDad · 19/03/2011 12:14

Is it a cover for swinging?

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 12:20

Why is it so snotty to have a dinner party and why are the hostesses always bored and why are the guests so awful one would rather have ones eyes bleached etc. I don't get it. Is this inverse snobbery or shared meal hatred, I don't know, am always behind the times these days. Help me out. What is so bad about this.

SugarPasteFrog · 19/03/2011 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 19/03/2011 12:56

Unquietdad. It is NOT a cover for swinging. But yours was an amusing suggestion. I think the D.P scene may be largely a London phenomenon.

Gooseberry. I just about prefer inverse snobbery to the real thing. ( I would like to get Social Climbing into the Olympics. Does Seb Coe read mumsnet?)

I suppose the CLASSES are people who feel comfortable in each others company. From Chavs to Aristocrats
But I like to point out that we are all human beings. And when serious trouble comes we all muck in together. (Like war and floods)

Sorry about the lecture. But its a subject I like writing and talking about.

OP posts:
Honeybee79 · 19/03/2011 13:00

"dinner party circuit"? Sounds very 1980s to me.

We have friends round to dinner all the time but it's definitely NOT a dinner party, which brings to mind visions of instant coffee, car keys in a bowl and swinging.

I think that those who still talk about the "dinner party circuit" must belong to a particularly pretentious section of society.

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 13:10

Oh I should get on the inverse snobbery bandwagon quick. Do we need to call down anyone who does things differently to the way we do? I could do that, doesn't sound that hard.

Original poster
GabbyLoggon · 19/03/2011 13:15

Honeybee79 Well if it was about SWINGING; the News of the Screws would have been onto it. (I am wary every time I pass an Arab Sheik)

I was once contacted by a charmer from the Daily
Bun. (She thought I sounded very level headed)

OP posts:
Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 13:16

Gosh I must remember my Grin

then it's ok to randomly contemn

SardineQueen · 19/03/2011 13:17

Some people seem to think this thread is about dinner parties and are getting a bit shirty?

It's about the phrase "dinner party circuit" and what that signifies which is a different thing. Having your friends round for dinner is not what this is about!

I understood the point about the dinner party circuit was that you didn't invite people because you liked them, you invited them because you thought it would further you in some way (socially, work etc). People who have showy dinner parties for people because they want to get into a superior golf club or massage their way up to the next level at work deserve to have the piss ripped IMO. Like I say I think it's all terribly 70s though I don't know if it still happens in the same way...

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 13:25

sorry

but it's ok to randomly contemn anyone you don't know that likes to make professional connections outside work?

just trying to get the hang of it

BaggedandTagged · 19/03/2011 13:35

The worst thing I could possibly do if I was out to impress someone would be to invite them to mine for dinner

  • At least one course would go wrong and have to be substituted by a takeaway
  • They would get huge quantities of cat fur on their new dinner jacket (never mind looking like "the help"). No-one in our house wears black for exactly this reason.
  • I would get pissed and make them play the post it note game, or, even worse, the "get as many marshmallows as you can in your mouth whilst being able to say "fluffy bunnies" "game
UnquietDad · 19/03/2011 13:36

For me it seems terribly contrived and summons up amusing 70s connotations - Abigail's Party, and Terry & June where he had the boss over for dinner (he always seemed to be having the boss over for dinner) and Margo out of The Good Life.

UnquietDad · 19/03/2011 13:38

Bagged - exactly, having people round to your house for a meal and a few drinks ought to be a laugh. The idea of using it as some kind of extension of the workplace and "making professional connections" is one of the most depressing things I can think of.

It's like these dreadful people who play golf - not for a game of golf, but to "make deals" and "talk business". First against the bloody wall when the revolution comes.

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 13:44

But then some people are taking the decisions that affect us, and some people aren't.

It depends on the circles you move in if it's contrived. For some it's perfectly natural.

This isn't me by a long way. But who would blame people who do it that way. Why not. Get ahead.

Honeybee79 · 19/03/2011 13:45

But sharing a meal with other people is supposed to be a fun, social thing. Not just a way to market/network. But hey, each to their own. I couldn't do it for that reason as would end up getting stressed and probably ruining the food.

UnquietDad · 19/03/2011 13:45

I'll "get ahead" in my own way, thank you.

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 13:47

Since when? Who made that rule up? I think it's a very natural way to make connections. I think it's really obvious. Plus there's no reason why it shouldn't be fun too. This isn't inverse snobbery, it's looking through the window at something you're not invited to and saying you wouldn't want to go anyway so ner. Well, some of it is.

Yes Honey: I would definitely end up ruining the food and drinking too much. I absolutely don't do it. I think people who do are so well organised and capable.

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 13:48

Or will you?

BaggedandTagged · 19/03/2011 14:10

I should add that I think the idea of networking over a meal/ a few drinks makes sense- I mean, just logically, people prefer to do business with people they know and like- but I just wouldn't do it at my house as I prefer to keep that separate from work.

Of course, there are some people who cross over- they start as work contacts/ clients etc and then become friends, and then they get invited to the marshmallow game party, but it is a special privilege and not extended to everybody Grin

Bunbaker · 19/03/2011 14:17

We don't have "dinner parties", we have friends round for a meal. We don't have childcare and neither do our friends so the children come too (age range 10 - 14). I wouldn't dream of inviting people around who don't know each other as all we want to do sit around the table, eat lovely food, drink lots of some wine and generally have a relaxing evening.

withagoat · 19/03/2011 14:30

CIRCUIT?

Gooseberrybushes · 19/03/2011 14:30

yy same same

I would be hot, and sweaty, and apologetic, and everyone would leave at eleven

but if I could do the other thing I would, it sounds like a challenge and it's always good to meet new people that you think might be interesting

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