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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel curiously let down

21 replies

springydaffs · 17/03/2011 23:46

I took a class tonight, one in which we take turns to take it (don't be nosey!). Not done it before but I did a lot of preparation. It totally dived - like, really badly.

Anyways, I was attempting to take it on the chin, actually and honestly disappointed I couldn't give anything of substance to the group - but also disappointed in myself and being brave about it..

I asked the group leader afterwards what I got wrong - he said 'oh no, it was fine' - no eye contact. Look, I can take it that it wasn't great but give me some constructive feedback! I felt embarrassed that he couldn't even give me some feedback and that was much worse than completely diving.

AIBU?

OP posts:

applechutney · 17/03/2011 23:47

What was the class in?

ladysybil · 17/03/2011 23:50

more details needed

midnightservant · 17/03/2011 23:50

How do you know it dived? And how big was the group?

Original poster

springydaffs · 18/03/2011 02:16

You are joking, yes? Asking me about what the class was about?

OP posts:

Morloth · 18/03/2011 03:46

Your post is gibberish.

Bubbaluv · 18/03/2011 04:44

Sounds like a SCUBA class - no idea what you're on about!

RoyalBlingThing · 18/03/2011 04:54

You sound barking defensive

TheSkiingGardener · 18/03/2011 06:12

So what is the point of you taking turns leading the class. If it's to gain confidence or share knowledge then I'd say some feedback is the leaders job.

What do you feel bombed? Was it the content or the style?

Goblinchild · 18/03/2011 06:22

It is unfair of the leader not to give you constructive criticism, so point that out and say that you want to improve and that's his role.
If he still shuffles about, ask him to give one point that he thought needed to change in your leadership of the class.
If you are able to ask the others, do it.
If not, you will have to be self-critical. List the things you felt went wrong, and work out what you would do differently next time.
Too long?
Too rushed?
Boring content?
Lack of active participation of the class?
That sort of thing.
As a teacher, this has happened to me numerous times over the years, so good on you for wanting to make a strong comeback and correct errors.

Tee2072 · 18/03/2011 06:36

Are you being unreasonable about what?

About wanting feed back? No.

About feeling let down? No idea without more detail.

Original poster

springydaffs · 18/03/2011 09:08

fair enough, I deserved that . I said don't be nosey because I've seen so many posts on MN that ask irrelevent info, like it's a courtroom on here or something - all the relevent info is there in my OP, clearly laid out.

Thanks goblin for overlooking my tired lack of tact

OP posts:

Original poster

springydaffs · 18/03/2011 09:10

SkiingGardener too

OP posts:

Reality · 18/03/2011 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weedle · 18/03/2011 09:23

I think it's hard for us to decide whether he could have given you constructive feedback without knowing what you did.

Off the top of my head - if you talked at them and pitched it wrongly then he should be able to advise you at where to pitch it and how to cut down the amount of talking you did.

If you were talking from personal experience and the problem was you were dull, then there's not really much he could say without making you feel worse is there?

From my experience I would think about what classes you enjoyed and try to identify the reasons you enjoyed them? Were they relaxed and informal/practical/used technology/had a guest speaker/used good resources or handouts? (etc etc - I'm being deliberately general here)
Once you've figured out what made their class interesting then you can use that to base your next one on maybe?

nijinsky · 18/03/2011 09:25

If you are a teacher doing teacher training or an instructor doing instructor training, then that is a different matter, so I will assume you are not. Public speaking (of which this is a form) is not for everyone and for others is an acquired skill. If you are not getting feedback perhaps you can think about whether you fell short mostly on presentation or content. Both of these can be worked on but if you are paying to be taught these skills then it is the job of the tutor to give you feedback. Otherwise you will not learn.

If its a subject which you are paying to learn and to be taught, then getting students to take the class is a really lazy way of teaching. It also depends on who you were giving the class to - a group of your contemporaries are very hard. Particularly if they constantly interupt your flow to ask questions.

BalloonSlayer · 18/03/2011 09:26

Ask him again another time. Or give him notice.

I expect he knew exactly what went wrong but was worried it wouldn't be constructive enough, or that he would upset you further.

Given time he will find a way to put his criticisms constructively.

Original poster

springydaffs · 18/03/2011 09:28

The main point is not that it dived - as goblin said, that can happen - but that the course leader didn't give me feedback, was too embarrassed to. Which made my 'failure' much worse! That it was so bad he couldn't even address it. Alienating and embarrassing for me.

OP posts:

BeerTricksPotter · 18/03/2011 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudianSlippery · 18/03/2011 09:36

Maybe he thought you were upset and would be too vulnerable for any feedback? Maybe he'll talk to you next week?

If you've got the confidence to at least attempt taking a group session like you did (the thought fills me with panic!) - I'm sure you've got the guts to ask for some feedback next week :)

midnightservant · 19/03/2011 02:17

I ask for these specific details only so I know whether my own experience can be of any use to you. I've given abysmal small tutorials, and good small tutorials, trained small groups, lectured (and I thought I was going down like a lead balloon but later feedback from the students showed I wasn't).

No-one else in the class will have been that bothered, and they may well be focussing on when it will be their turn!

TechnoKitten · 19/03/2011 02:31

I would suggest giving out feedback forms to the whole class including the group leader. List a few things regarding your session - eg appropriate / relevance of topic, use of multimedia/slides/presentation, delivery, content (too much, too little), language (incomprehensible or talked "down" or about right), etc. Without knowing specifics I can't give more examples but you should be able to think of some more - I'd aim for about 10. Then ask for one comment regarding how they think you could have improved the lecture.

Have them anonymous and then use the replies to see where the class as a whole think you could improve. You can then discuss them with the leader to ask for pointers or for where you could get help with the problem areas.

I always use forms like this for teaching sessions at work, they are then used in my portfolio as part of ongoing learning/reflective practice.

However - you're not being unreasonable to expect honest constructive criticism from your group leader. It's part of their role and if they can't give it then there's something lacking with their ability, not yours.

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