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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to stop work 3wks before due date?

23 replies

mouffloncake · 17/03/2011 22:10

Im a self employed beauty therapist & was planning on starting maternity leave 3 weeks before Im due (which is in 11 weeks time).

My DH works from home & asked if I was joking when I told him when I was thinking of stopping, asking me what I plan to do "hanging around the house" for those weeks.

I explained that I have a physical job where I am on my feet most of the day & by the time I get to 37 weeks, I probably wont be able to bend over to give pedicures anymore & that I have already had to stop with the hour full body massages & the shorter massage will have to stop at the end of this month.

Most nights I am in so much back pain that I am unable to walk or even turn myself in bed (due to major spinal surgery several years ago).
:/

OP posts:

EricNorthmansMistress · 17/03/2011 22:13

Erm - YANBU. Your H is being a thoughtless twat. I stopped at 36 weeks and not before time, and most of my work is done sitting down!

WildAndCrazyHorlicksDrinker · 17/03/2011 22:13

He's being a prick.

The last 3 weeks you'll have to yourself for the next, ooooh, 18 years, and he's mumping about you "hanging around"?

Definitely a shit-on-his-pillow offence.

Vilt · 17/03/2011 22:13

YaDnbu my midwife told me she recommends women stop working at 36 weeks. I'm sorry your dh has so little empathy that he can't imagine why you might not want to work to the bitter end.

Ieattoomuchcake · 17/03/2011 22:14

YANBU.
I ended up having DD nine weeks early but my plan was to stop at 37 weeks, and that was the latest out of all my ante natal friends. And I just do a desk job

BaronessBomburst · 17/03/2011 22:14

at your DH!

TheSecondComing · 17/03/2011 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ramblingmum · 17/03/2011 22:15

Definatly not. I finished at 36 week with my first and 34 weeks with my second. I am a pharmacist so on my feet but otherwise not that physical. I just got that tired. Also the baby might come a bit early so you need to be ready

Portofino · 17/03/2011 22:17

I had a nice sedentary office job and still stopped at 36 weeks. In fact in the month before that I worked from home a lot as I was so uncomfortable at night that I could not sleep. And at 37 weeks was actually admitted to the ante natal ward with unstable lie. That put paid to my nesting and planned pub lunches

MrsKwazii · 17/03/2011 22:19

YANBU, especially considering the ob you do and the pain that you're already in. I had my first baby at 37 weeks, I'd only been off for a week and was gutted. I had lie-ins, leisurely lunches and lots of cinema trips planned - was gutted! Tell your DH to stop being a gobshite and support you more.

Northernlurker · 17/03/2011 22:19

36/37 weeks is about as far as most people are happy to go. Being that pregnant is hard work! Tell dh he is being daft!

bettydraperswardrobeelf · 17/03/2011 22:20

YANBU! What a thoughtless twat. I too have a physical job (work as a scrub nurse is operating theatres) and I gave up work at 34 weeks and not a moment too soon - the long days on my feet were killing me! Those 5 weeks (DS was a week early) seem like halcyon days now that I'm looking after a very demanding 4 month old. Tell him you'll be enjoying the last three weeks of being off duty that you'll ever have...

Meglet · 17/03/2011 22:20

yanbu. I stopped at 36 weeks and 32 weeks (due to a crap commute).

Still made it to the gym, but that was quite pleasant compared to dashing off to work.

lilolilmanchester · 17/03/2011 22:21

FWIW, I wasn't in a physically demanding job when I had DC1; worked til 5 weeks before (like your DH, I wondered what I was going to do "hanging around the house" for those weeks...) the last couple of weeks were a real struggle, head was engaged, I wasn't sleeping. finished earlier with DC2. I guess what I'm saying is that I didn't understand what it was going to be like so your husband can be forgiven for being ignorant of the facts. That's the charitable view. But, not least given your back issues, I think he needs to get real... show him this thread...

PonceyMcPonce · 17/03/2011 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mouffloncake · 17/03/2011 22:25

Thank you all for taking the time to reply.

I had to smile as I was reading your posts & dont feel so bad at wanting to stop at 37wks.

Also hearing a lot of early birth stories, eek!!

OP posts:

foreverondiet · 17/03/2011 22:29

YANBU, but FWIW I worked until 39 weeks, including commute into central London by tube, full days in the office etc, and then gave birth the day I finished work.

But I felt fine and was sleeping fine and was happy with this (DC3) and didn't want to hang around the house waiting for a month like I did with DC1 and DC2 who were both late. If you feel 37 weeks is enough then thats totally reasonable.

piprabbit · 17/03/2011 22:33

I took 4 weeks ML before my due date both times. I also added an extra 2 weeks annual leave - so I finished work 6 weeks before the baby was due.

First time round I really enjoyed the time to finish getting ready and focus on the baby. Consultant decided to induce me 10 days early - so was glad to have had some extra time off before I went into hospital for induction.

Second time round I ended up in hospital on the day ML was due to start and was there, on and off, for the rest of the pregnancy. I was so pleased that I took that extra 2 weeks off before it all went pear-shaped.

TheCrackFox · 17/03/2011 22:34

Ram a melon up his arse and see if he feels like working for another 3 weeks.

I worked up until 38 weeks and felt very smug that I would have another 2 weeks to get organised. I went into labour 4 hours after leaving work.

Bogeyface · 17/03/2011 22:37

37 weeks is considered full term, does he know that?!

So you could reasonably expect to go into labour at any point from then on, which isnt something I would want to risk if I was in a clients house. Would you really want to be half way through a facial when your waters break?

A flaming row quiet word about the fact that pregnancy isnt just getting a bit fat and then a midwife handing over a nice clean newborn a la 50's movies is in order.

lilolilmanchester · 17/03/2011 22:41

and also maybe time to start getting him used to the idea that while you're on maternity leave, all housework won't be done/tea on table when he gets home... and it's perfectle reasonable that you might still be in your PJs....

alittlebitcountry · 17/03/2011 22:45

For what its worth I finished just 2 weeks before. And you can tell your DH that abolutely everyone thought this was VERY late.
At the time I felt ok as had a relatively easy pregnancy and office job so not strenuous. -But My mum still fretted the last couple of months as i have 30 minute drive there and i'm sure my boss was relieved to see me go with no early arrival.

Ironically no sooner did i finish than my blood pressure shot up and i was admitted for observation - had planned to spend the 2 weeks sorting thngs round the house but had to rest instead and let DH sort everything.

alittlebitcountry · 17/03/2011 22:49

Stupid phone posted too soon- YADNBU.

splashyy · 17/03/2011 22:55

Yanbu. I stopped at 38 weeks but would have done sooner if I could have. By that time you might well start to feel very tired and uncomfortable.

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