To not want to be friendly with next door neighbours?

[steben]

Sorry if this is a bit rambling but as the summer approaches I am getting more and more anxious about this. We have neighbours who are over friendly - when we first moved in we did the usual thing of drinks/etc..and saying hello and exchanging numbers in case of emergencies. The kind of relationship I would like would just be saying hello - doing bits if needed (like keeping an eye on house when away/collecting parcel if we are not in etc..)

The woman seems to be quite lonely and started to stalk me with calls and texts which just became too much. It has got to the stage where I will say hello - but I stopped answering phone which i felt awful about but it was really stressing me out to the point where i felt i could not relax in own home.

However with summer coming up I am really looking forward to getting outside with my daughter who is nearly one. They also have a baby and I am really worried she is going to start hassling me again and wanting to come over/chat etc..when all I want to do is just chill out in my garden with my DP and DD.

When we have had friends over in the past she makes a point of coming into garden and looking over and trying to catch my eye and it just makes me very uncomfortable. AIBU?

So it sounds like you basically like her but want to spend less time with her? If so, a good tactic is whenever she suggests going something now/soon is to suggest a date that is at least a week away.

So ... "No it doesn't really suit us to have a bbq now. How about I pop round for coffee next friday".

Anyone with a bit of social awareness will then not pester you again until then.

How awful for you. I like to keep neighbours at a distance - couldn't imagine anything worse than living next door to a friend.

This guy I'm dating: lives next door to a now divorce'. She borrows his stuff, asks for his help, she has the code to his house, her kids call him "uncle" and she's over or texting him weekly - biweekly if not more. He nick names her NG for "neighbor girl". When she stops over she always gives him a kiss on the lips and says, "hi honey" or "hi sweetie".
Me: I've never really gotten to know my neighbors. I'm friendly - say or wave hello and if they wanted assistance in a jam, I would certainly help them. But I dont go out of my way to "know them". I've always figured...you can pick your friends but you can't pick your neighbors. I dont need to know all about their dirty laundry. Call me anti social but I bought my land and it has "boundaries". And I like to think of that space as "my sanctuary" where I invite those I want into that space. Otherwise, I prefer to just chill out. And for the record, I dont kiss even my "guy friends" on the lips. I think she is out of bounds and while he claims she is "not his style" and he's "not interested", I think he is giving her mixed signals that it's ok and he "has no boundaries". I trust him, that's not the point. I've dated him on/off for 3 years and I dont really know her. You'd think if they are that close, I would know her.
Regardless, I just think that neighbors should be "seen and not heard". Respect each others' space. Respect the boundaries and if you are a woman, let the guy seek YOU out. I think in this case, she is flirting. She is testing the waters, throwing the line in to see if he'll bite or change his mind.

THIS IS A ZOMBIE THREAD WHICH IS OVER 5 YEARS OLD

Why revive it kk321?

Oh! It is old! I started a new one - this can be deleted

She sounds desperately lonely.

If you ignore her it will lead to awkwardness and resentment on both sides. Why not meet up and introduce her to other mums? Take her with you to a few baby groups, local meet ups, rhyme times etc or introduce her to your friends. Then retreat, say you're busy this week, invent lots of things you're doing. If you get to know her a bit you can explain that you like your own space and your own company, need time to unwind, focus on DD etc.

If it were me, I'd meet her once a week for a couple of hours but limit it to that. If she approached me in the garden I'd chat for 10mins over the fence then say firmly 'lovely to catch up with you, now I'm just going to sunbathe for a bit. I love lying in the sun listening to the birds, it's so peaceful' etc.
You can be friends and offer a bit of support without losing your privacy and downtime.