to think that a once a month visit to my parents is all we can manage?

[CheerfulYank]

They live a five hour drive away. We have one DS (three and a half) who is their only grandchild at this point.

I love my parents; my dad and I are especially close. My mother...well, we've gotten better since DS was born :o We never had serious issues, it was just a bit rocky for awhile in my teens and later, because she didn't approve of DH and decided to tell me so a month before the wedding. It's all reconciled now as he's turned out to be a wonderful husband and father just as I said he'd be. So anyway, no major problems, but making that long of a drive more than once a month has proven impossible as well as really expensive.

Nothing extreme has been said, but my mom has started to make noises about not seeing DS enough. She does come see him when she can, but it's not always possible for her either. We talk on the phone almost every day and have just installed Skype so she can see him more often.

I think part of the issue is that DH's parents are only about ten minutes away and see DS at least a few times a week. So, anyway, AIBU?

oh, also I agree with the idea of Skype.

mil thinks we see my parents a lot more than we see her. when we see mil they get a good 3 hours with h talking aand chatting aand see the children too. not my fault that h prefers to meet in pub to get nice food than somewhere where the children can play more.

when we see my parents, it is different. I unload the car, cook dinner for h, me and the children, prepare tea for everyone washup and help with nppies. there are lso children to supervise so i get to sit down with my mum for about 5 minutes if I am lucky.

Sometimes we pop into see my mum and dad as a stop off to see h's friends or family as i keep a supply of nappies etc there. my parents are enaabling us to see more of dh's side of the family. It's all changed now we are separated. H get's to see a lot of his parents. he now lives with them.

it is almost impossible to see both sets of parents equally as usually one set is further away or less able to travel. it should be possible to compensate with extra phonecalls or photos or craftwork sent in the post, but I think it is going to be inevitable that things are not going to be equal. (sigh)

You are doing really well to go and visit once month.

its amazing how some people think you travelling to them is a shorter distance than them travelling to you....!

We see inlaws every 4 weeks, and they live 1 hours drive away. But that 4 weeks is either us or them travelling - ie we travel every other month. I think a 5 hour drive you could say they could visit you every alternate month. No doubt they will stop whinging if the cost and distance is down to them as well.

Be aware that as your child gets older, and starts taking part in sports and other activities, they will see even less of him.

However, you could compromise and see if they will take him for a week in the summer, for example, so they can OD on him. My inlaws take the kids for 4-5 days at half term and I use the time to slob around the house decorate or do gardening.

A 5 hour drive?? I think you are flipping marvellous if you do that every month. When my mum and dad lived in the UK they lived a 2 hour drive from us and we didnt go that often although we spoke on the phone loads.

My mum has sadly died and so I am not full of guilt that I didnt go more :( but c'est la vie

now full of guilt, not NOT full of guilt...doh!