...to be furious with DH for PROMISING he'd be home at 6.15...

[Schulte]

AIBU to be furious with DH for PROMISING he'd be home at 6.15 to take over so I can go out for a swim, and then calling at 5.45 to say he couldn't be arsed to get on the early train and he won't be home until 6.45? What use is that - that's only a little bit earlier than he usually comes home anyway

Please tell me if I am overreacting... but I have felt recently that he simply can't be bothered to help any more. He even had the cheek to complain about there not being enough food in the house, when I am the one who does absolutely everything.

[Wants to cry]

Compo - I see your point. You're right, when you want cereal, you want cereal. But DH runs so late most mornings (because he stays in bed for half an hour after his alarm has gone off) that he often doesn't have any breakfast at all.

And it was the first time ever we had run out of cereal.

And I had planned to go shopping on that very day, after working 10 hours straight on the two days before (so I simply couldn't have squeezed a trip to the supermarket in).

Well he's here so I am off... thanks for listening and cheering me up

God it really pisses me off this attitude that working full time excuses a person from all household tasks ffs

When I was single and worked full time I had loads of time left for doing my own washing and shopping.

Working full time does not mean someone needs looking after like a child.

no but if i was at work all day and came home and was expected to do the shopping and cooking and housework, even though some lazy bastard had been at home all day doing sod all, I would be a tad miffed

Compo. How is it unreasonable for the OP not to have any cereal in the house? Was she to have used her sixth sense to know what her DH would want for breakfast?

'even though some lazy bastard had been at home all day doing sod all, I would be a tad miffed'

I'd be a tad miffed if DH saw him not having the exact product he wanted, as me being a lazy bastard who's done sod all.

If the OPs DH is complaining about something not being in on the day before the OP did the shopping, he should take it upon himself to go and get it.

Not whinge to the OP that his every wish isn't pandered to every second of every day.

Clearly MamaVoo, if she was a good wife/mother, her dining room would actually lead directly into a branch of Waitrose, thereby enabling her to tend to her husband's every culinary whim at the drop of a hat.

I think it's not so much that he didn't make it home in time for you to go for a swim, it's that he didn't have a valid excuse and didn't even bother trying to hide it either!

Needs a slap.

hang on so he chose to stay in work longer on purpose to prevent getting teh early train because he couldn't be arsed? he actually stayed in work because he couldn't eb arsed going home? is taht what he said?

YANBU OP.

Re shopping, what we do is, if it looks like something is running out, whoever notices puts it on the shopping list, which lies around the kitchen.

Then, whoever does the shopping next, buys it.

And if anyone says, "There's no X", the stock reply is, "I didn't buy it because it wasn't on the list". Puts the onus on the person who likes a thing (and is always eating it!) to remember to put it on the list.

Could you get him to do a shop on his way home? That's what my DH does (he has a 20-mile commute, by bus and bicycle!).

And do you have parents or ILs nearby who can reliably watch the children say once a week so you can go and get a swim? I know it's taking the heat off him but if you got your MIL to do it it might shame him into behaving himself. I know you would like to be able to rely on him, but it seems you can't, so you make other arrangements.

Wow

So a working mother who does all the housework is unreasonable if there isn't cereal when the important man fancies some?

Jesus fucking Christ

if you are a woman with children and you work fewer hours out of the home than the father of your children, you are effectively his slave and must make sure he is never discommoded by anything ever.

Better add a crystal ball to the shopping list too, Schulte. Then there'll be no excuses for not knowing that he was going to want Shreddies despite not usually eating breakfast.

YANBU.

And he clearly contributes nothing to the morning routine.

Lazy, entitled fucker.

OP I dont know if you'll get this in time, but how about going out for food after your swim.. and then a bit of clubbing, make it home for 2 am?

What Spidookly and AyeRobot have put so eloquently......

just another lazy arse

Yanbu. If an essential meeting ran late, fair enough.

" couldn't be arsed to get the earlier train" translates as " I have zero respect for you, the work you do, the opportunity for you to stay healthy, and the fact that we are supposed to work as a partnership".

And I'm astounded at these posts suggesting he works while you do sod all - if you are doing your paid work at home you are effectively doing the jobs of two people - your job, and child care. He gets to stay in bed, whinge about cereal, work without being interrupted by children, and decide what he can be arsed to do.

Hope you had a nice swim.

Ladies

You have made me laugh so much, thank you

I am back from a swim, and a bit of lying around in the jacuzzi and sauna too, and DH is currently in the kitchen cooking burgers.

Apparently DD2 threw an ace tantrum at bedtime .

So all is well again in the Schulte household.

The prize of the day goes to this post:

"no but if i was at work all day and came home and was expected to do the shopping and cooking and housework, even though some lazy bastard had been at home all day doing sod all, I would be a tad miffed"