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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Us Mums should be careful not to pass on diet fads to our DDs

38 replies

thebird · 16/03/2011 17:59

I met up with some old school friends recently. All are mum of DDs and all are slim size 10-12s. Much of the evening was spent discussing how much time they spent at the gym, how may spinning, boxfit classes they went to in the week and also the merits of Weightwathers, Slimming World and other diet plans etc. Good for them I though until....

One of the mums then said how she was in the gym a week after the birth of her 2nd DD as part of her latest diet weighs her cereal in the morning. In the next breath she said how worried she is about eldest DD aged 3 as she was such a fussy eater and underweight. Much nodding around the table as many other also had DDs who are fussy eaters. Now I am a great believer in healthy living and exercise but also very aware not to make food an 'issue' as I had a flatmate who was bulimic. Girls pick up on these things so easily! All I'm saying is great if you want to diet and go to the gym but maybe less losing weight talk and food/self weighing in front of the kids.

OP posts:
Original poster
thebird · 17/03/2011 11:34

MissRead

Good for you and sounds like you are trying to give your DD a positive message. I am not against anyone trying to lose weight. As I said in my OP the ladies in question are quite slim but are always saying they need to loose weight and are obsessive about diets and excercise. I am just concerned that if a little girl looks at mummy who is size 10 and says she is dieting to loose weight what sort of seed does that sow?

Good Luck with WW :)

OP posts:
Desperateforthinnerthighs · 17/03/2011 11:36

YANBU - I am sadly a diet freak and always on a diet.........I was quite shocked when my DS who must have been about 6 at the time examined his legs and said he thought they looked "fat".....he is a tiny kid and doesnt have an ounce of fat on him.

He also had one coat he refused to wear coz it made him look "chubby".

He is 8 now and I try to have a healthy attitude about food as I so dont want to pass my insecurities onto him.

MissRead · 17/03/2011 12:43

thebird I'd like to hope that if when I get to a size 10 I will stop worrying about my weight and be happy as I am, wonder if that will be the case! I get what you mean about your friends though, if someone is clearly a healthy shape/size but makes a big deal out of saying they need to lose more I find it really annoying and self-obsessed aside from the negative messages it could give to their DDs!

QueenofDreams · 17/03/2011 12:48

I think it's up to both parents to model a healthy attitude to food and positive eating habits.

MIL's P is the fussiest eater I know. And when he's offered food he makes a big fuss 'I don't eat none of them things' is the most frequent phrase that comes out of his mouth. Small wonder his DD is incredibly fussy as well.

limpingbint · 17/03/2011 12:49

YANBU and are absolutely right

bibbitybobbityhat · 17/03/2011 12:54

Op I agree with what you are saying but can I just add that your evening with your old school friends sounds beyond dull and into the realms of having to get up and leave.

When will people learn that their diet/exercise regimes are not interesting topics of conversation for the vast majority of sane people.

olderandwider · 17/03/2011 13:04

I too hate this infantile idea of "naughty" foods and "good foods". Aaargh. It's just food fgs, and there's no mystery to staying/attaining a healthy weight.

manicinsomniac · 17/03/2011 13:06

YANBU

I completey agree with you and wish I gave a more balanced and healthy message to my girls. They spend a considerable amount of time in the childcare centre at the gym early evenings when really I ought to be making their tea and putting them to bed. I never eat when they do and they know this. They know I won't eat certain foods. I know it's appalling.

I say I have no option because I am on my own with them but I know in reality my option is to put them first and my obsession with being slim second - I haven't got there yet.

Original poster
thebird · 17/03/2011 13:45

bibbitybobbityhat

It was a more than bit dull AND we were out for dinner! It was very off putting to have the whole conversation about diets, points and excercise and then holidays and dieting for the holidays blah blah blah rather than enjoying a rare night off away from DHs and DCs. For a moment I did start to feel a bit panicy and think maybe I'm doing it all wrong but when they all ordered boiled water and lemon for desert/coffee I though stuff em and had a chocolate brownie and a irish coffee.

OP posts:
Desperateforthinnerthighs · 17/03/2011 13:50

MissRead will we ever be happy......or will we strive for the next goal?? Before DS I got down to a really good weight, still wasnt happy....However, if I look back on photos now I think I must be bloody mad......idiot, lol

I would love to be one of those people who have never dieted but unfortunately it's in my genes to be a bit overweight so I work really hard to stay in healthy shape.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 17/03/2011 13:58

YANBU

I have ds's who get crap messages from school about what healthy eating isHmm Everything is so black and white at school, you know, good and bad foods, whereas I have an 'everything in moderation' policy.

I grew up overweight and with a mother who was and is obsessive about hers and others weight. It's only since my 30's really, I've been able to leave all that behind.

With the ds's we take a very relaxed approach, they see us eating what we want but more important than that IMO, they see us exercising and we encourage them to walk, play football, generally be active. I am training for a marathon and really want to instill in my boys that exercise can be fun. I grew up with such a negative attitude to exercise it's taken me half my life to realise what fun it can be, and that I can do it!

lazarusb · 17/03/2011 14:00

Mills and Doom She told me that being underweight was a sign of neglect and that we could be referred to SS because of that. (This is the only sign of it in our case). It's because he was 8lb2oz when he was born and has slid down the percentiles over the years.

I did point out that he is full of energy and rarely has time off school - 2 days in 3 years. I went through our family diet with her. He can be fussy about food but he also has a small appetite and tends to eat little and often.

She seemed to be appeased for the time being but she did warn tell me that they would be keeping an eye on him in the future Hmm He is still underweight, despite our best efforts. I just wish that I didn't feel that they just want him to sit nicely on a chart somewhere.

Isthreetoomany · 17/03/2011 14:28

YANBU - I grew up with a mother who was always on some diet or other, always talking about how many calories were in X or Y foods, always saying how she would 'be good' and just have a tiny amount for each meal.
I later suffered from anorexia and (though now receovered) am now very concerned/aware of what I feed my 2 young daughters on and how I deal with talking to them about food as I do not want history to repeat itself.

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