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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ignore a fussy eater @ let him go hungry

53 replies

typicalbloke · 16/03/2011 16:17

so on friday, with DW away for weekend, I got home from work to find that the kids had, naturally invited their mates round.

I conetemplated rustling up a quick meal for six teenagers and me completely from scratch, and after a brief inspection of the ingredients fridge I reached for the phone and ordered chinese

  • prawn crackers
  • prawn toast
  • half a crispy duck and pancakes
  • chicken chow mein
  • crispy beef
  • sweet and sour chicken
  • spare ribs
  • beef and mushroom
  • prawn something (I forget)
  • vegetable chow mein
  • egg fried rice
  • special fried rice
  • boiled rice
  • fortune cookies

one boy - 14 - announced he didn't like any of it and ate..... a spoonful of boiled rice on a pancake. I kid you not.

I pretended not to notice but when my DW got home on Sunday she said 'yes he's very fussy I always cook for him specially'

WIBU to just let him go hungry?

OP posts:
CharlieCoCo · 16/03/2011 17:10

next time you order chinese, can i come:o

Becaroooo · 16/03/2011 17:10

Maybe he just doesnt like chinese food??

There is not much on that list I would eat tbh (not a fan either) and I really dont think he was not eating to annoy you.

Did you say he is a teenager?? If so and he was that hungry then he could have always got himself some toast or something??

YANBU

geordieminx · 16/03/2011 17:15

That lot must have cost you a fortune!

NettoSuperstar · 16/03/2011 17:17

Plain rice is hardly chinese food though is it?
It's rice.
I reckon people that fussy are used to only ever eating their favourites.
I dish up everything unless DD hates it. Unless you'll die from allergies, or hate it so much you'll barf immediately it gets served.

I don't believe people who can't eat so many foods.
It's just pickiness.

We're having a meal tonight that DD would rather not, she's not keen, it's not her favourite.
I'm afraid it's just tough shit.

NettoSuperstar · 16/03/2011 17:19

Exactly Geordie.
I'm never having teenagers over for takeaway!

borderslass · 16/03/2011 17:20

Well my 2 youngest wouldn't of ate anything off that list ones a vegetarian and just eats noodles from Chinese and one has ASD and will only eat one meal from Chinese.

nannyl · 16/03/2011 17:21

YANBU

if he was hungry enough he would have eaten something... its not even as if hes a young child going through a "stage"

to be honest, as a teenager i would have been expected to eat, even if i didnt like something... if my parents were also presnt

Am not hugely fussy anyway, be when we went out for family meals with friends / long lost relatives, my parents would have been mortified / embarrassed if oid refuse everything and OMG, i would have known about it when we got home! I wouldnt have even dared not eat anything out of politeness!

Original poster
typicalbloke · 16/03/2011 17:24

tbf he didn't complain.. but he didn't eat either.
I offered him and DS some money to run down to the chip shop ... about 300m away.

but there's nothing there he likes either Confused

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 16/03/2011 17:27

It would be a good web address though

[email protected]

He is 14. He didn't ask you to make anything else. He may have a problem with the foods - my ds couldn't eat anything on that list either. He has massive intolerance.

Yanbu not to cook specially. You are a bit whiney going on about it though.

Becaroooo · 16/03/2011 17:32

He doesnt like chips??????

TeacupTempest · 16/03/2011 17:33

If he wasn't rude I don't see the problem Hmm

I an allergic/sensitive to MSG so I wouldn't have eaten much either. Makes me feel sick and brings on a migraine

Original poster
typicalbloke · 16/03/2011 17:34

I suspect he does like chips .. but not enough to go and fetch them himself Wink

OP posts:
bellavita · 16/03/2011 17:35

You were very generous with the chinese. My 14 year old would have polished the lot off.

I would have probably offered some toast, but nothing else.

Becaroooo · 16/03/2011 17:36

Ah...yes...thats sounds much more likely!!! Smile

cory · 16/03/2011 17:37

Personally I make it a rule never to notice what my guests eat. It just depresses you. I don't cook extras, but I don't get annoyed either. Takes several weeks for a child that age to starve to death: one evening isn't going to do it.

Asinine · 16/03/2011 17:43

Have just realised I am a skinflint. There is no way I would have catered for them with no notice by buying a Chinese . That is like a monthly treat in our house . I probably would have sent them out to sainsburys to get something cheaper they could cook themselves.
These threads make me hungry Grin

SooooCynical · 16/03/2011 18:01

Totally NU.

My DS (aged 10 going on 11) is like this and would also probably eaten what your guest did (although probably more of it). He can't stand a fuss being made so really wouldn't have wanted any extra attention. In fact if no one makes a fuss he is more likely to try something new. (He is very slowly increasing his repertoire)

He's just not very interested in food or eating. It's not as if he's eating sweets or crisps instead. If he is going to someone's house I do mention it and say that if he chooses not to eat what's been prepared to not make a fuss and just leave him to it and certainly under no circumstances to provide a separate meal. Sometimes people can't cope with that so they give him bread and butter which he's fine with.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 16/03/2011 18:43

You were very unreasonable, typicalbloke - because I want a chinese now (with everything off your list), instead of the nice healthy cottage pie I have made.

On a slightly more serious note - at least you hadn't put loads of time and effort into cooking for them, only to have this one lad turn it down - that might have been even more annoying.

WentworthMillerMad · 16/03/2011 18:44

That's a lovely selection! I have a very very fussy eater. He would have eaten boiled rice and prawn crackers.
Good choices!

Nanny0gg · 16/03/2011 19:04

As someone who has always been a picky eater, however much my mum forced me to eat everything I hated, I'd like to point out that it can make life very miserable.
It limits what restaurants I can go to and I dread being invited to someone's house for dinner when I don't know them well, because if I was given food I hate I really really wouldn't be able to eat it without heaving. And who wants to be rude?
I hate it. I really wish I liked more. And I'm a million times better now than I used to be.
Now I'd eat that Chinese...

bigbeagleeyes · 16/03/2011 19:18

I just admire you for feeding six teenagers in your own home. If they're anything like mine with Chinese I bet they hoovered it up.
And no, I wouldn't have given him anything separate.
He wasn't going to starve.

CrapBag · 16/03/2011 19:19

YABU.

I don't like any chinese food so I wouldn't have liked anything from your list.

I hate this "I hate these fussy eaters" thing. We can't change our taste buds, if we don't like something, we don't like it, we can't force ourselves.

LowRegNumber · 16/03/2011 19:25

Crapbag, that is untrue although I can see why you wouldn't want to force yourself.
Tastebuds change over time, it is totally normal. For a start exposure builds up a taste for something (hence the advise to try things once in a while) and your likes and dislikes change with age and diet. Secondly you cannot say you don't like "chinese" based on taste any cultures food will be very varied so there will most likely be something you like, it just may be a long job finding it!

Op, YANBU!

weeyellowbirdy · 16/03/2011 19:29

i have 4 kids. 3 eat anything the youngest is a fussy eater. i do not pander nor have time to cook a separate meal.this is not a cafe...

Pagwatch · 16/03/2011 19:37

just come back to this wondering why it seemed odd to me and I have just figured out why

If ds brings his friend back they feed themselves.

I haven't fed a group of teenagers. They know where the kitchen is