to be annoyed that my partner spends evenings at his ex's?

[ClaireCarpenter]

My partner lives with me and my 2 kids. He also has 2 kids aged 13 + 15 with his ex. He takes his own kids to after school activities on Mon, Tues, Thurs & Fri and we have them to stay alternate weekends and some holidays. I've no problem with this and all 4 kids get on very well.

But sometimes when he's dropping his son off back home he stays there to watch football matches. It makes me feel so mad. I don't know whether it's jealousy or what but I feel like telling him to just stay there. Why did he bother moving in with me (5 years ago) if he just wants to play happy families back there?
I told him it upset me and he said he and his son wanted it so that's that.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable to feel this way, and if I am I don't know how to stop feeling so angry when it happens. :(

Maybe he just wants to hang out with his son for a short while in his son's own territory. Watching a game of football doesn't seem that bad to me.

Could he not bring his son back to yours to watch the football instead?

think of it as his sons house, not his ex's. he is there spending time with his son. YABU.

My ex is no longer allowed to my house without his girlfriend by all accounts (used to come regularly, now hardly ever and always with her and rushed) The boys are the ones who miss out and get upset because he no longer stays for a cup of tea and to see their new toys etc. (they're 4 and 2)

Good on him for keeping a relationship with his earlier children.

You are being a bit unreasonable, it is his sons home, and watching football together (especially if they support the same team) is a bit of a male "bonding" thing.
Do they go to matches together?

I wish my ex would do this with my 2 children tbh, He was never allowed in the house because his gf (now ex) was paranoid that he would go back to me . Now they are split he comes in now and again but never for more than 5 mins and never ever has a cuppa and my kids get a bit upset about that.

My dp on the other hand will stay and chat and have cups of tea with his ex, her mum, brother etc and his girls love it.

However I can totally understand how upset you would be. I've had my own little wobbles myself, its very hard to act reasonable when your insides are twisting inside you.

you know you are reacting unreasonably and I think it is something you will have to learn to live with hard as it may be

Can understand why it upsets you but I also think it is lovely that he stays and watches footie with his son. It would be a shame to put a stop to that. As long as it isn't all 4 nights of the week that he is there then I think you need to deal with it as best you can. He sounds like a great dad.