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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want my partner to put phone chargers, xbox boxes etc away when he's done using them?

7 replies

munkysea · 16/03/2011 13:35

Ok. This is my first time asking here dons firefighting kit, douses self in ice water and flame-retardant gel, prepares self-pitying whine

TL;DR version: my partner wants to leave random things lying around our tiny flat, I want him to pick stuff up and just put it away or something.

Background: I live with my partner in a small 2-bed furnished rented flat so storage etc is really at a bare minimum. We both have a lot of gadgets like electrical items, kitchen gadgets etc. I try to keep my stuff as tidy as possible but I like to put things like away when I'm done with them. Not right away, maybe, but I try to be tidy and considerate.

Problem: My partner thinks it's ok to leave out phone chargers, kindle chargers, xbox controllers, random bits of paper and just general detritus out on the table, coffee table, tops of sideboards, tops of chests of drawers, kitchen work surfaces any available flat surface because at some point in the near future he will use it again.

This annoys the bejayzus out of me, to the point where I feel like SCREAMING and kicking the stuff around the room, or throwing it out of the window. I feel like I'm surrounded by his things everywhere, and it's not a shared flat, it's his flat. I pointed out he kept communal areas tidier in shared student houses, even if his room was less tidy. He replied 'That's because other people lived there.'

He already has the spare room set out like he wants so he can do his hobbies, why can't he be a bit more flexible about communal areas?) We keep having huge arguments about this issue.

AIBU about clearing stuff up or do I just need to take a breath and not be so uptight?

OP posts:
rinabean · 16/03/2011 13:37

I don't think either of you is wrong. I totally understand how annoyed you are. Maybe he needs a basket to dump all his stuff in? And you can dump anything of his in there if it's in the way. That way it's still "out" and easy to get to for him, but it's not all over the flat pissing you off.

walesblackbird · 16/03/2011 13:39

Wait till you have kids! Then it multiplies endlessly. PSP chargers, DS chargers, xbox chargers, clothes, pants, socks, sweet wrappers/yoghurt packs stuffed under the sofas. And that's before you come to the Lego bits they my boys leave lying around ready to finish - and you step on them. Or hoover them up Wink

Start as you mean to go on - if he doesn't clear up his mess get a black bag and tip the lot into it. Then threaten to bin it unless he clears up!

Ciske · 16/03/2011 13:44

YANBU, been there as well and I know what it's like!

I solved it by putting a basket in the corner of the living room which holds all the random wires/gadgets/batteries/chargers I find around the house. It's also immensely useful when he has lost something, because it's always there.

munkysea · 16/03/2011 13:45

Rina - I think a basket or box is a good idea. I'll mention it. I don't think he will do it though! He just wants to leave it on the top of things. He has got loads better recently. I came home from a business trip once and there was literally not one surface in the flat that was clear of 'stuff'.

Wales - I'm terrified I'm going to be one of 'those' mums who's obsessed with keeping things tidy. :(

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 16/03/2011 13:53

I am that untidy person. I have laptop leads, phone leads, camera leads, (looks down side of chair).. battery charger leads, graphics pad lead, external hard drive leads, and a few more... and I know how cluttered I am.. but I do try to keep them all in a large storage box when I tidy up, so that I can find them when I need them.

munkysea · 16/03/2011 13:57

Squeaky, that's what I'd like DP to do! I think it's less about tidy and more about something else, really. The only reason this is an issue because it's become a power/control problem between us.

OP posts:
Youllskimmer · 16/03/2011 13:58

Move out.

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