to be annoyed that it's always me

[mycatoscar]

who has to take the day off when dd is sick

I got a call this morning just after I have started teaching to say dd was sick and the childminder couldnt deliver her to school

so i sorted cover for my class, explained the planning etc and came to collect her. I don't get paid at all for today.

I called dh when I got home and said what about tomorrow, well apparently it's too hard for him to take the day off so I have to do it again

I feel really peed off, it isnt easy for either of us to take a day off so how come he gets a choice and I dont?

I take it the childminder couldn't hang on to her? Is that something you could discuss with her as an option? I agree that it shouldn't automatically be your responsibility - can he not "supervise" over the phone or give one of his team a chance to step up for the day and take charge? As a teacher I get the whole deadline thing - reports etc have to be written by a certain date or we get named and flamed (publicly). As for the wages being short, I really hope that in this circumstance your DH shares his!

No, I dont think he does value my work really, I am guessing he likes the fact it pays a large portion of the bills though - it's not as if it's for luxuries, we need my salary to survive each month

and no, most people don't have contingency plans. We live 600 miles away from our parents, and so if one of the DC is ill and can't go the school/CM then one of us has to take the day off. It irks me that it is assumed you are disorganised for not having back up care, when in reality, in the absence of parents near by, you could not possibly have back up care. If your DC is ill, no one else will have them.

no, the childminder would keep her if it was just sniffles, but she was sick, it's in my contract that she wont take children with sick bugs - and quite rightly too, she has other children and herself to consider.

mycat from what you have said you need to have a good talk to him. His job is not more important, both of your jobs should be of equal importance. No wonder you are so cross.

I feel for you, OP. I'm in exactly the same boast with regards to childcare - I have no back-up and I don't get paid.

It sucks.

However, my DH does do half the days - more than, sometimes.

You need to sit down with your husband and explain that he needs to step up. If you lose your job, your family are in trouble, so it has be shared.

One of the compromises we've made here is that DH and I work half days ecah when DD is ill, so that we're both in work part of each day and nothing critical gets missed. It seems to be working.

boat, not boast, FGS!

ginny we do the half day thing too, esp for the longer illness!

I don't know if such a thing exists here, but when my SIL had this problem in the US she set up a 'sick' childminder. It was someone she could ring on short notice to take either one or both of her daughters when they were too sick to go to school/nursery.

I work from home and for myself, so I just don't work if my child is sick and make it up after he's in bed/on the weekend.

But maybe you could see if there is something similar to what my SIL had in the US?

Thanks for all the responses

I am happyish to do the mad dash (even though it isnt exactly easy to just walk out on 30 kids at a moments notice) when we get a call from school or childminder ie the first day she is ill, since he does travel with his employees and it is difficult for him to just leave work during the day without pulling the the workforce with him or having to do a massive round trip to get them home later.

But in return for this I do strongly feel that he should do the second day's cover, which he can plan and someone else can take his vehicle and instructions can be given over the phone.

to be honest, he knows he is being unreasonable but is never going to change. Having a moan has made me feel better though, thanks ladies!

Tee, none of the c/m's round here look after children with sick bugs, I know most of the local ones and it's just not something they do, they have other mindee's health to consider.

Plus, if dd is genuinely ill (ie not just a cold or cough) then really she needs to be looked after by someone that she knows.

same here, anything infectious and no CM will have them.

I think when your child is sick a parent or grandparent should look after them, it's not fair on the child to have to go to childcare when all they want is their own bed

well dd is currently sat on the sofa begging for lunch - she was last sick at 8am and has really perked up. So tomorrow may not be a problem afterall. Will give her something plain and stand well back me thinks

Thanks for all the support mumsnetters, made me feel much better about it all, will be sitting DH down though for a chat