To be sad that ds hates any form of affection?

[cherrychoo]

He always has, hates cuddles or kisses.

I feel jealous of other folk with cuddly boys.

He doesnt even like sitting near any one!

The closest we get to him is bedtime story then he will voluntarily sit close, but the moment i try to put my arma round him, he pulls away.

He has never come up to either me or dh and put his arms round us like other kids do to thier parents.

just makes me
sigh.

Oh, poor you. I have two very cuddly boys and I would miss it so much if they weren't like that, so I do feel for you.

How old is your DS? Does he have special needs?

nah he is 7 and doesnt have sn, its just the way he is, strange little fella.

Of course this doesnt stop us trying and offering hugs. He just obviously doent enjoy it. Even as a little chap he didnt like it.

oh gosh

how old is he? I'm sure you will work out other ways be be close to him & express your love, but your post has made me feel sad too. Cuddles with DD are the high point of my day.

I'm not a cuddly/touchy feely person. I've always been that way, my mum tells me she feels rejected because even as a baby I didn't really like to be held.

So yanbu to be a little bit sad but unfortunately there's not a whole lot you can do

Hi there - ds1 is like this and always has been - literally as a baby he would push us away and has always hated physical affection. He's never voluntarily hugged either of us and the only way we could touch him was through playing physical battle-type games.

However, he's 9 now and just very recently has started kind of allowing us to give him quick hugs!

Not sure why but both dp and I have noticed it - we've not said anything to him as he'd deny it and would be embarrassed, but we're enjoying fleeting moments of physical contact..!

Nothing you can do I don't think - ds2 is the most cuddly child in the universe and is like bloody velcro, so I think it's just how they are - but hopefully as they grow up maybe our uncuddly children will allow the occasional cuddle!

its just the way he is, sad but true.
He knows we are here and bursting with love & affection but he just doesnt want it.

Even when he hurts himself, he will come to me for reassurance but wont allow me to hug him better...which is my job....and the law.....and a requirement for healthy healing and deadening all pain.....

you need to identify how he shows affection to you (they might be in very odd ways you have to realy look for) celebrate how he best communicated his love to you and offer the same back to him. then he will know you get him, and you can appreciate his unique loveingness!

i have magic hugs you see....they are actual magic..

Please don't be sad. Some people just don't need the physical side of love as much as others. He knows of the love and affection you and his dad have for him and that is more important than him actually expressing it physically if that is not what he wants.

Much sympathy - my DNephew is like this. Fierce attack games with lots of squeezing and holding upside down are the only physical contact he really seems to enjoy. He's only little as well. And I was like it as a child too. Tis just the way some people are. Doesn't mean we don't love!

My DN was like this too. He is a big boy now 6' and the best, most caring son his mother could hope for. We never forced physical affection on him just went with what he was comfortable with. Enjoy him as he is, he will be grown up too before you know it!

I wouldn't be sad-it is meaningless-just a personality thing. I agree with moonstonezoe, it doesn't mean that they are not close to you and caring. I always wonder about people who want to co sleep-how do you know that you have a baby who doesn't like peace, quiet and their own space?
Touchy feely people always think their way is best and that people who are more reserved are repressed-they are not! (or not in general-some might be)