feel a bit guilty

[gallifrey]

When I was pregnant with my first child, we didn't have a lot of money, we drove crappy old cars and had to buy everything second hand for her.
I remember being given a high chair that was covered in old mouldy food and scrubbing it with bleach because we couldn't afford one.
I had a second hand cot with a second hand mattress :(

On the way home from the hospital we had to pull over because the exhaust had fallen off the car and hubby had to crawl underneath and fix it back on.

We are in a very different position now, we both have brand new cars, and have bought everything brand new for the baby (3 weeks to go!)

I know I'm being a bit silly but I feel really guilty that I'm buying lovely new stuff when DD1 had to have 2nd hand.
Not that it's done her any harm, she is the loveliest little girl ever, but I can't help it!

You should be happy that you are now in a position to give her more and also that you are giving her a new little brother or sister, I think you have that kind of guilt you get when you are pregnant with your second, its quite common!

I'm sure DD1 gets brand new these days, though? She'll not remember or care about her "stuff" when she was an infant, let the guilt go.

Its a wasted emotion. You did the best you could at the time, so dont feel guilty.

:)

You do know you're being daft don't you! :o don't worry about it, they both have and had lots of love and that's loads more important than stuff

Don't feel guilty - just enjoy your lovely DD and your gorgeous new baby.

No need to feel guilty. Firstborn, middle child, baby of the family... each position has its upsides and downsides. I'm a firstborn and I'm sure I had heaps of second hand stuff, but who cares? It did the job and I clearly can't remember it anyway. Your first kid probably had other benefits, like plenty of time just her and you. Stop stressing and enjoy this new stage, good luck.

Yes I do know I'm being daft! Guess I have way too much time on my hands really to even be thinking about this sort of stuff!

I'm very proud of my husband to have worked his way up into a very good job too.

My daughter is certainly loved loads and she knows it, and yes she does have lots of nice things now, without being spoilt!

thanks everyone xx

Bettero have nice things when yo are older andcan appreciate it - babies don't care if their highchair is second hand!

Well, most families just get it the other way round - DD had all lovely shiny stuff, dropped food on it, chewed it etc; now DS is getting all her faded tatty stuff to recycle. You've just done the opposite!

I'm the same as Heathen. DS got lots of shiney new stuff and now DD is having to make do with all the hand-me-downs and often in the 'wrong' colour if my MIL is to believed.

But I agree with others, it's the love that counts. She'll remember the cuddles and the games and the laughter when she grows up, not the second hand high chair.

You provided for your baby. She had no idea whether it was second hand or gold plated stuff. Yabvu.

All the scrimping and being careful has now afforded her the best pressie in the world - a brother or sister. Hope she and you enjoy!

YABU but then, you're pregnant! :)

I was eldest of 5, my parents didn't have much when I was little, but when my sister came around, she got a lot more than I ever had, and I never begrudged her any of it! I was 16 at the time, too, so I presume a lot older than your DD1.

You do what you can, the important thing is not "stuff", it's the love you give them, no money can buy that.

Good luck with the baby!

Blatherskite - "often in the 'wrong' colour if my MIL is to believed"

DS is very cute in his pink flowery GroBag...

And DD looks adorable in her little blue babygrows Heathen

There's a good photo on my profile which proves how cute hand-me-downs can be actually...