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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

dh using facebook for mobile and not telling me

23 replies

kate45 · 14/03/2011 23:41

I have just seen a text message on dh mobile activating facebook for mobile, he never told me he had done this, I saw the text when he showed me one from our dd and the other one was listed, does this mean he can use facebook and what he does wont show on his profile? He has never cheated on me but we are going through a rough patch and I am worried...

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 14/03/2011 23:43

It means he can use FB via his phone and whatever he posts on his wall via his phone will show but come up as posted from his mobile.

Why be worried? Tell him to activate the location thing too, so that when he goes into a FB area it shows on his profile where he is!

There more underlying issues here than just this.

vicbar · 14/03/2011 23:44

you'll still be able to see what he does o his profile it just means he'll get notification to his mobile if anyone puts anything on his wall etc.
I think if he was thinking of cheating he would have deleted that text straight away. Although this obviously shows you dont trust him and need to deal with that togther before worrying about FB. Hope it gets better

Pumpster · 14/03/2011 23:45

Lots of people check fb on their mobile, in the absence of any other signs I don't think this means anything and I'm not sure why you would expect him to mention it?
The fact you saw the text and he showed you his phone would say to me he isn't trying to hide the fact.

PaWithABra · 14/03/2011 23:47

i do loads of stuff and never tell the missus.

in fact she is asleep right now and i am on mumsnet

and she doesn't even know i have an account

Original poster

kate45 · 14/03/2011 23:49

thanks for this i thought it meant something more sinister, cant understand why he didnt tell me, and I do have major trust issues, not that dh ever caused them they are more from way back and he has had to deal with marrying a paranoid wreck! in fifteen years he has never given me any reason to doubt him but I have loads of crappy baggage!!

OP posts:

TheVisitor · 14/03/2011 23:49

I use my mobile for facebook! It's just a cool thingy and everything done on the phone comes up as normal.

Morloth · 14/03/2011 23:52

Eh? It wouldn't even occur to me to tell DH about something like this - don't most people on Android use it for FB as well?

mumeeee · 14/03/2011 23:52

YABU, It's fairly normal to use a mobile for facebook.

MaisyMooCow · 14/03/2011 23:53

kate45 Please try and work through your issues with your DH. Major trust issues are not healthy for the mind, you will torment yourself over things like FB and life is too short.:)

QueeferSutherland · 15/03/2011 00:07

Kate, the issue is not your DH using FB. (I would never expect DH to tell me if he signed up for mobile FB.)

Posts on FB sent via 'phone have a little mobile icon next to them.

Have you sought help for these feelings of distrust? Are you always so anxious? (Not meant in a nasty way)

Original poster

kate45 · 15/03/2011 00:18

To the last two posters, yes I know I need to deal with my "issues" but they are from so long ago and so deeply entrenched they are part of me now, and I have neither the time or money for therapy, which I probably need!! I love my dh so much and we have a blissfully happy life most of the time, I probably just had too much time on my hands tonight and too much wine...

OP posts:

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 00:21

wow, so you are happy to let your issues affect your husband who has never given you any reason to doubt him??? and believe me it will be affecting him if you are doubting him over something as stupid as him activating FB mobile and not telling you. does he have to tell you every single decision he makes??

FabbyChic · 15/03/2011 00:23

Seriously why would he tell you? For what reason? If he uses FB far easier to use on his phone if it is capable. That aside, does he tell you when he goes a shit?

Just curious.

Considering how long you have been with him your issues should have long since been resolved, he has never cheated on you yet you doubt him now?

Sometimes when you push someone hard enough they will do what you accuse them off because they think fuck it might as well.

Original poster

kate45 · 15/03/2011 00:30

wow, thanks a lot, what wonderful support and understanding you get from some people on here, nice to kick someone when they are down isn't it, makes you feel so much better. If you last two are typical of the people on here maybe i should sign off this site all together.

OP posts:

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 00:33

kate you get honesty on MN. netmums is where the hugs and glitter is. seriously though. why aren't you dealing with your issue rather than getting para noid about completely innocent things your husband is doing? that isn't fair on him.

BitOfFun · 15/03/2011 00:34

You really need to sort your head out- saying that this is just part of you is a massive (and sorry, but selfish) cop-out. Your GP can refer you for counselling, and there are many charities and women's groups which offer it free too.

You at least recognise there is a problem- but it is not your husband's mobile, or facebook account.

FabbyChic · 15/03/2011 00:35

I don;t mean to be mean, but put it into perspective all he has done is accessed FB on his mobile, it is not something he should have to tell you about, it is not important enough for you to even be bothered about.

You are worrying uneneccessarily and it is unhealthy.

Original poster

kate45 · 15/03/2011 00:39

ok thanks very much for the advice, you are all so much wiser and more sorted than me, that is obvious. Its great to see how readily people moralise over a situation they know nothing about. I will sign off now, I am so clearly not good enough to be on here!!!

OP posts:

MaisyMooCow · 15/03/2011 00:41

Kate, I understand you, with trust issues it's easy to take something possibly quite insignificant mixed with a HINT of suspicion and it ends up being way out of proportion. It's not your fault if you're not in the right frame of mind. Please take the advice of others and make some enquiries with your doc about having a chat with a therapist/counsellor etc. I bet you will feel tons better for just making a start.
Good luck :)

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 00:44

why do you post if you don't want advice? i have never understood that abou some posters.

FabbyChic · 15/03/2011 00:50

Gotta be something wrong with my posting style, but then again I never came here to win friends. ;o)

Morloth · 15/03/2011 00:50

I actually think people have been a bit harsh (and for me to be saying that it must be bad).

But yes Kate here in AIBU on MN people don't pull their punches. If you post about it you are going to get replies about it, from all different angles.

The FB thing is nothing, the fact that you are worried about it shows two thing; 1) you are not very up to date with technology and; 2) you need to work on your trust issues.

Try relationships next time.

LDNmummy · 15/03/2011 00:55

Its FB in the normal sense, just via his phone. You can see everything the way it would normally come up on his wall etc...

Dont let the MN stuff get you down

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