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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby playing rough?

26 replies

celebmum · 14/03/2011 21:31

Hi ladies, my DS is 10.5months old, he is walking pretty well (indoors, don't let him outside just yet!) he is very sturdy, not overweight by a longshot just solid if that makes sense! Anyways when friends bring their babies over (all similar ages) my DS always seems to be getting 'told off' by friends for being too rough/boisterous.. I don't think he is really, just maybe a bit more confident than their DC eg. Using other child to pull himself up or standing up around none standing kids.
Im happy for friends to say so if my DS is hurting other DC, but think it's unreasonable of them to tell him off as he is just a baby!

Am I being a bit PFB?? or do I have a point and should I say something?

OP posts:

Hulababy · 14/03/2011 21:33

He's a baby. They shouldn't be telling him off at all. He is not doing anything intentially wrong. He is not being naughty.

I think you should remind them of this and ak them not too tell him off, just to gently move him off their babies and place him eslewhere.

sparkle12mar08 · 14/03/2011 21:39

Is your ds the only boy in the group by any chance? Or are the other boys the younger brothers of older girls? This is fairly a typical attitude/response from parents of girls I'm afraid, but by no means universal (I suppose I should add that).

Hulababy · 14/03/2011 21:41

sparkle - I am mum to an only girl. I still think the behaviour of theses other mums is ott and not right.

SeeJaneKick · 14/03/2011 21:41

Maybe it's the other parents way of lettng you know that you need to be more on the ball so he doesn't use the other babies as a standing up crutch...leaning on them etc.

SeeJaneKick · 14/03/2011 21:42

Also Sparkle....no it isn't typical of girls parents! What utter shite.

thepoweroflunch · 14/03/2011 21:44

I'm going to assume this isn't a stealth boast on your part OP

If lots of them are saying it then maybe he is a bit rough? Would it be so difficult to move him away from other children when he does this? My baby pulls my toddlers hair if she gets to close, which upsets her. So I don't let it happen.

Not hard really.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 14/03/2011 21:47

sparkle, fuck off, that's bullshit.

OP - I think it's OK for another parent to reprimand another child, but only once they are MUCH older (at least 2, probably more like 3yo)

It's utterly pointless 'telling off' a 10mo, how ridiculous!

Do bear in mind though, that some of the other babies might not be walking for another 6-8 months, and for a while you will probably have to follow him around for a while so he doesn't knock over the less active :)
(not saying you won't, just mentioning)

portaloo · 14/03/2011 21:47

I agree with SeeJaneKick.

I wouldn't like my DC to be used as a device for helping other possibly bigger DC onto their feet.
When your DS is standing amongst the other DC, how steady is he on his feet?
How do you think this can be resolved?

sparkle12mar08 · 14/03/2011 21:48

That's why I also said that it's not universal, but as a mother of two boys I think you're deluding yourself if you don't think that many mums of girls think this way about boys. I have personal experience of it, as do most of my other mums-of-boys friends.

sparkle12mar08 · 14/03/2011 21:48

Fuck off your self Jareth!

See, I can swear with the big boys and girls too!

bethelbeth · 14/03/2011 21:50

I think it's really funny to be honest. It's just kids being kids.
All you can do is try and rectify the situation as it happens. They've all got to learn somehow...

And if it means that they have to learn to walk before your child walks on them then fair enough

Original poster

celebmum · 14/03/2011 21:51

It's a mixed group, all but 1 only children, age range from 2months younger to 4months older.. I obviously do move him, pull him away etc he isn't malicious ie pulling hair, poking eyes or anything! Just grabbing and or hugging.. He has knocked others over once or twice, from sitting positions..
I wasn't sure if it is just me listening out for these comments if u know what I mean..

LOL at stealth boast!! 

OP posts:

bethelbeth · 14/03/2011 21:52

And pffft sparkle I am another mother to a dd who can sort out her own battles. (At 15 months)

They have to learn by themselves to an extent. It's not as if the OP's son was deliberately being unkind.

thepoweroflunch · 14/03/2011 21:52

Try not to let him knock other babies over though, at a guess I'd say people are pissed off with you and not the baby.

Original poster

celebmum · 14/03/2011 21:55

That was meant to be a smiley face!

Please don't fight ladies!! X

OP posts:

sparkle12mar08 · 14/03/2011 21:55

This is fun, can I do a raspberry too?!

Pfffffft! Quite satisfying :)

AllDirections · 14/03/2011 21:57

I wouldn't want your DS to hurt my children whilst pulling himself up or falling on them. It's your responsibility to make sure that he doesn't do this to your friend's DC. Your friends then won't need to tell your DS off will they?

Of course it's not your DS's fault, he's just a baby! But it's not acceptable for him to hurt other children.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 14/03/2011 21:58

No.

You're insinuating that mothers of girls think their children are more delicate and precious than the boys, and that boys are lumbering oiks that might hurt their precious little princess.

I have experience of this with ONE person who's little girl was the only girl among a group of boys. She's a bitch though. Everybody else I know with girls just lets them get on with it.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 14/03/2011 21:58

x-post on the raspberry blowing! How DARE YOU!

thepoweroflunch · 14/03/2011 22:00

I have two girls, the youngest is 8 months and I am in no way precious with her. But if someone, anyone, knocks her over from sitting onto the back of her head then it will piss me off. If a sturdy boy 2.5 months older than her did this more than once then I would think their mother wasn't being very vigilant.

I wouldn't tell him off though, I'd just avoid the mother.

Original poster

celebmum · 14/03/2011 22:00

Power, I don't let him knock the others over, sit there and do nothing, I'm the first to 'jump in' and move him/distract him.. accidents happen!

OP posts:

thepoweroflunch · 14/03/2011 22:01

Celebmum then that is ok, I would just keep a close eye on him.

sparkle12mar08 · 14/03/2011 22:05

Got to go to bed now, but I'll say it again because I think it got lost - NOT all mums of girls think that way. Some do, some don't.

And Jareth, my hips are bigger than yours

bethelbeth · 14/03/2011 22:06

I have a great mental picture of mumsnetters all looking at their screens and pffffffffting.

Original poster

celebmum · 14/03/2011 22:10

Oh I do! But he is fast!! he has never made one of the others cry, other than a winge maybe if he has taken a toy or something. Also it's only usually my DS and 1other child at a time not a pile of babies with DS at the top! I just felt sorry for DS as he appears to keep getting told off..

OP posts:

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