to think this woman was unbelievably rude about DH and DS?

[flootshoot]

I know I'm not BU really, but I need to rant about this as she wasn't pulled up on it and now I'm stewing (hormones

Yesterday DH took DS swimming and to a carvery for lunch - family place, loads of kids there. Now DH is a big guy - not obese or anything, but very tall and broad like a rugby player. He has got a bit extra round the middle but is very fit and healthy and is quite sensitive about this. DS is just 2, built like a whippet but has a very healthy appetite. He's generally very good in restaurants but can be a bit noisy, hence only taking him to family orientated places. He eats very well and uses a fork but sometimes struggles and reverts to his hands.

Anyway, DH got a fairly big portion as he was sharing with DS and they're both starving after swimming. It's mostly veg anyway. Lady on the next table starts making comments about them and continues throughout their meal.

'Look at the size of that man's portion, it's far too big. You can tell he's had a few of those can't you?'
'and the kid, he's packing it away isn't he? Going to end up like his father, that one'
'now he's eating with his hands. Disgusting behaviour!'

etc. etc.

At the end of the meal DS (who's been giggly but behaved impeccably up til this point)asked for an orange (his current addiction), DH said no, I don't have one but we'll have one when we get home. DS starts to have a bit of a meltdown as he's knackered and ready for a nap by now, whereupon DH immediately got him ready to leave. At this point she made a comment about what a horrible spoilt child DS was.

I am astounded that DH had the self control to not say anything, and I'm so cross I wasn't there as I bloody well would have. I wouldn't have started a ruck or told her to eff off, I'm not like that, but I would have made it very clear that she could be heard. How dare she insult my family like that?

Just needed a rant about that. Thanks!!

YANBU. How rude!!!!

Oh and my five year old will sometimes distractedly start eating with his hands, so I wouldn't bat an eyelid at a 2 year old doing it!!

I would probably spend hours thinking up retorts in my head, but I am a grudge holding type

where do you FIND these people
i think you make it ip

I would have gone over to her and there would have been fireworks.

My husband would have done exactly what yours did and ignored her.

Which is the most dignified approach I know.

I would still have gone over though. People like that rely on the good manners of others to not challenge them on their behaviour. I think going over and asking them exactly why they thought they had the right to be so ignorant is the best thing to do.

which is why my husband doesn't let me go out alone

Oh, the retorts I've come up with... if only I'd been there!!

Your DH is a more patient man than mine. I should preface this by saying that my husband is a lovely man, but I think she would have been told exactly where she could stick her carvery dinner.

Ironic innit? There's that silly bitch commenting on other people's so-called awful behaviour when her own is shockingly rude and rather vile.

Rant away.

saffy I said exactly that - my DS will grow out of his antisocial behaviour, no chance of her growing out of hers!

My ds almost five cannot use a knife and fork.

What was her issue? How could she enjoy her own meal when she was concentrating on the dietary habits and eating culture of others.

Oh and a 2 year old has a meltdown and is therefore a spoilt brat eh?

Lucky you weren't there really.

Your dh handled it very well.

Cheeky cow!!!

How bloody dare she! I bet she wouldn't of said that if you had been there.

I would of 100% said something, just the other day me, dp and ds was in Waitrose (hate going in there, get filthy looks off the women for having a buggy!)

This guy was leaning over ds's buggy to get to the onions, he leaned a bit more.... then a bit more to the point he was actually bending the sunblock with his body! So I not so quietly told him he better back off or I'd make him back off!! He looked at me in total shock and walked off. DP was laughing at me and said he was about to pick him up and carry him outside! Some people!

Was she very old? Only reason I ask is that my mum has recently developed Alzheimers and she has started to behave like this in restaurants, pointing out fat people and commenting on clothes and behaviour. It's very embarrasing, but if I feel she's going over the top or others can really hear her I do mention it to them.

I wonder if she's always felt like this but a sane mind and social niceties have kept it in, now she doesn't have that she's let loose .

YANBU!

What a bitch, at least your child is learning, what's here excuse?! And for you DH, the poor man, it's bloody hard enough taking kids out to eat somewhere, and then getting bloody comments and abuse! Grr she would have had her carvery over the head, had i been there!!!

My DS is 2.3 and can use a knife and fork, but will prefer fingers, and to make a nice picture with it on the plate , and as for him taking a meltdown, don't all 2yr olds do this? (hoping others are going to say yes, as mine does) :)

IMissSleep, why didn't you just move the buggy so he could reach the onions, instead of getting all territorial? He must've thought uyou were a loon.

Sandyballs has a point, this behaviour is so far outside the norm that it probably goes beyond rudeness into mental health, so probably safest not to come up with a snappy retort.
I can imagine my grandmother saying things like that (mind you, she'd have been capable of it pre-dementia).

Sounds like my 84yr old Nanna. Last time we went out with her for dinner, she commented very loadly "Oh look at the size of her, and she is eating dessert!!!"

YANBU

Butterbur

I did - but he didn't even acknowledge the buggy. He had no manners. And, I am not a loon or territorial.

Well, DH said she was 'old', although was not more specific, so if I'm being charitable perhaps she was less aware of what she was saying (possibly also a bit deaf and hence not aware of loudness!).

How bloody rude of her! Your DS will grow out of his little 'habits' but she clearly is stuck with her appalling manners for life!

Blimey! All two year olds eat with their fingers! And all men eat big dinners!

Some people are so roooode!!

Can't be much else going on in her life if that's all she has to talk about. Pity her, poor sad bitch.

You need to think up some handy retorts ready for this kind of occassion.

My son had a small paddy in Tesco once and a woman looked at us and said 'what a horrible noise'. I pointed at her top lip and said 'what hideous facial hair'.

Both cruel and immature but I felyt better and she most likely thinks before she speaks.

This is the reason we have soped taking Grandma on buses, she has dementia and will talk loudly about anyone.
I once sat in the GP's with her and she kept commenting about a womans size, I was mortified.
The most embarrasing one though was when a distant relative turned up to visit Grandma. The relative stuck her head in my pram to have a look at dd and Grandma said in a very loud voice "Distant rellies name, won't mention it herself but she has terrible money problems ATM" Jesus the shame of it.

Stopped fucking keyboard.

I am quite glad DH took the moral high ground TBH, I would probably have blown a raspberry and proved her point completely about my family's manners...