to think that this is hellish house guest behaviour?

[JosieRosie]

Really need to have a vent ladies..... I have a friend staying with us for the weekend (leaving tomorrow) and he's driving me crackers! I have known him for a long time, he's a friend of the very casual variety, can be great fun and can be very sweet but seriously!!!

List of behaviours since Friday:

• turned up with one bottle of (shit) wine, I know it's shit and costs under £3.50 because I bought a bottle of the very same stuff last week to put in a chilli. No other gifts and hasn't offered to pick up anything from shops when he's been out (we are feeding and watering him and I cooked a very nice dinner for him, me, DP and another friend of ours on Saturday night. And he drinks like a fish, not like he's a teetotaller or anything!)
• leaves his stuff all over the flat - boots in the hall, dietary supplements all over the kitchen counter, fridge full of his stuff
• blocked the toilet yesterday with a gigantic log (sorry for TMI) and then went out and left it
• sat heavily on dining room chair and broke it, no apology (DP freaked out after this and gave him a massive bollocking, he did then apologise to be fair)
• told me that he spent nearly £30 on a dietary supplement the other day when he has bought us 2 bottles of booze all weekend
• didn't offer to pitch in with washing-up, drying-up etc until ordered to by DP on Saturday night
• DP has a little 'notebook' style computer in the living room. Friend has been on it CONSTANTLY since Friday, surfing internet. Every minute he's in the living room he's on it, never asks if he can use it, just helps himself. I find this extremely rude and antisocial. DP has taken to asking him to get off it as he wouldn't mind a look at the internet himself

I feel really hacked off with his freeloading, I feel it's just a take-take-take mentality which I can't stand. When DP and I stayed with him for 3 nights (he lives in another country), we brought 2 bottles red wine, litre vodka, box of chocs and bought all our own booze and food while we were there. As I say, he's leaving tomorrow and we won't see him for quite a while. It's been nice seeing him but if I'm honest, I feel like he gets under my feet after about an hour!

Thanks for listening if you've read this far - would be grateful for thoughts

hehe rightupmyrue, I didn't even notice

Whilst it would be good manners for him to help wash up, clear up after himself, buy you decent booze, not use your husbands netbook, you cannot just expect people to do as you do.

YOu invited him as a guest, guests generally do fuck all when they stay they are waited on.

Maybe next time you wont allow him to stay but say stay in a hotel.

Some people expect too much, if someone comes as a guest to my house I don't expect anything from them other than their company. I certainly would not expect them to wash up, or profer any goodies.

They are my guest and as such should not have to cough up anything other than their time.

My DH's friend brought a bottle of wine with him when he came for a meal and when DH went to open it to give him a glass he said: 'No, no, open one of yours, I'm not drinking that rubbish.'

So I totally understand your pain!

You have my sympathies. What a complete and utter arsehole!

First of all, I cannot abide misers and having been caught out a couple of times in the past, I no longer tolerate them.

Last time I unwittingly invited a penny-pinching woman and her family to my home for lunch, she brought a bottle of wine that couldn't have cost more than £1.50. I opened it, took a slurp, winced visibly and said,

"listen, we won't be able to drink this, take it home with you."

She protested that she wouldn't be able to drink it either, and that I should give it to my next lot of guests!!!!!!

Needless to say, we couldn't wait for them to go, and that was the end of that.

As for this sorry fellow you have been putting up with, I would say,

"I'm afraid you've blocked the toilet so you need to go in there and unblock it and leave it as you found it - i.e. clean enough for surgery."

When he's done that, tell him that he is a tight-fisted, ill-mannered person and you can't tolerate him for another moment - he should leave immediately.

There is nothing worse than a miser - if you feel you can get away with it, kick his arse as he leaves through the front door, ensuring he falls to the ground, then slam the door shut.

Actually, thinking about it - DH's brother is this kind of arsehole as well. When we got married, he came over to England and stayed with their cousin/uncle - BIL also made a godawful mess of the loo (although I don't think he exactly blocked it, more that he just refused forgot to flush a few times) - they kicked him out, and he was family.

So - YANBU about that at all.

And really, who invites themselves to stay? I wouldn't do that - I would say to someone "I am free X weekend and was thinking of coming to visit you if you're free" - and if they said "no", then I'd be quite all right with that. I wouldn't just rock up and say "Hi! I've come to stay for a few days"

Next time - give him the royal order of the boot.

GORGEOUS, I made sure I gave him his own wine to drink, I drank the stuff I had bought myself. I would have pulled him up on the toilet stuff, but he did it and then conveniently naffed off for the afternoon!

FabbyChic, I realise I probably sound like a bit of a dictator but I'm honestly not! As I've explained, this bloke has form when it comes to inconsiderate behaviour and extreme tightness and so examples of both these things get under my skin, whereas if they were one-offs in other people I would just let them go. When I have other people to stay, I tell them to go sit down when they try to help wash up etc. I'm happy to wait on people and I love entertaining, but I don't appreciate feeling that someone is taking the piss.

Then they should have said no or laid down some ground rules, like come and stay but feed yourself etc.,

Oh poor you, bet your excited to see tommorrow

Not many Delia

Fabbychic IMO if you need to lay down ground rules, said guests are not worthy of one's time and effort. There's only one thing worse than a tight-arse and that's an ill-mannered tight-arse.

Why not put the netbook in your bedroom?

Good idea Inertia - we planned to do it this time but weren't organised enough. I was prepared to lie like you do to a child - 'it's broken! Had to take it away!'. Ditto ground rules - shouldn't need them and don't want to feel like I'm running a creche