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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

sleeping baby in car

60 replies

grumpykat25 · 14/03/2011 11:15

Please don't shout- I'm veerrrrrrry tired and emotional.
So, dd is teething/had mmr jab and mini-measles/staying awake screaming all night and I've stayed home with her today. My mobile (damn thing) is broken (again) and had to be dropped at the nokia repair shop on a retail park . After popping to the docs, dd finally falls asleep in the car, and so I drove over to said retail park. When I get there, she's still asleep. Not sort of sleeping, but head back, fly catching and snoring sleep. I parked my car RIGHT OUTSIDE the shop and stood in the doorway, having let the guy know that I needed to speak to him. At no point could I not see happily slumbering dd.
A car park attendant noticed her sleeping and peered in at her then wandered off. 30 seconds later there are three of them with a walkie talkie so I popped my head out and said "don't worry, she's mine, just a couple of minutes" etc. He told me that he'd rung security, they were on their way and if I didn't get her out of the car RIGHT NOW then they'd have social services out. WTF? AIBU to think that was a little extreme ?
So poor dd is hoiked out of her sleep and the car for the further two minutes it took to sign my phone in and then wailed all the way home.
Why do people always think they know best? Or am I too tired to realise that IABU?

OP posts:

MickyLee · 14/03/2011 11:47

Psammend

Reality · 14/03/2011 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MooMooFarm · 14/03/2011 11:48

I'm kind of on the fence - I can see that as you were still close to the car and could see it, DD was fine. But I would have been worried about other people walking past the car, seeing a baby 'left alone' in it, and causing a hoo haa & judging me.

So I wouldn't have done it. I also wouldn't trust myself to not drop the keys down a drain/ leave the handbrake off/ etc.

A friend of mine used to leave her baby sleeping in the car outside my house and it used to drive me nuts. She would always say 'it's ok I'm watching him, but then she'd wander off, go to the loo, start playing with her mobile, and I'd be hovering up at the window like miss judgey-pants.

TandB · 14/03/2011 11:49

I bet that was what created the black hole. It's your fault, Reality. Neglectful parents like you make me sick. You should have wee-ed on the parquet floor and it would never have happened.

Original poster

grumpykat25 · 14/03/2011 11:51

Have just rung the retail park in a strop. It is company policy, and apparently I am very lucky the police were not involved.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Bah.

OP posts:

lovenamechange100 · 14/03/2011 11:51

tell me where it was and we can boycott it for you and I will go and punch them in the interfereing faces ..for a fee of £5 Boden voucher.

Bloody hell - dont know hoe I still have DS then.

TandB · 14/03/2011 11:53

No, they were very lucky the police weren't involved as the police would have been more than a little irked to be called away from dealing with real crime in order to witness the spectacular non-event of a mother standing about 10 feet from her sleeping baby.

Tisallafaff · 14/03/2011 11:55

Meanwhile people really are putting children in danger.

I have put a curse on everyone involved on your behalf grumpy.

beesimo · 14/03/2011 11:56

I hope this all stays a big joke for you lasses

lovenamechange100 · 14/03/2011 11:59

Why beesimo?

boyscomingoutofmyears · 14/03/2011 12:06

I've just left my baby asleep in his pram in the kitchen for 2 whole hours after a really rubbish nights sleep. I even went upstairs to have a shower and couldn't see him. I've done this hundreds of times with 3 DSs and they're all still alive.

I wonder if those security me have kids and if their kids have constant 24 hour supervision.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 14/03/2011 12:06

Oh kungfupannda, thank you that

OP - YABU as you could see her. However, they didn't know that so they were NBU to investigate.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 14/03/2011 12:07

Ooops - I mean YANBU OP Sorry, pregnant fog clouding brain at the moment.

whoneedssleepanyway · 14/03/2011 12:07

Beesimo what happened to you does sound very scarey but let's get a reality check here...what if you park your car outside your house (say even in the drive if you are lucky enough to have one) and unload shopping and take it to the house leaving babies in the car, and then what you describe happens as you are doing that.....

Are you saying you are with your children physically watching them every second of the day? You can't be and that is why accidents do happen.

The OP in my opinion did not act irresponsibly in any way at all, she was watching her DC the entire time. The car park attendant was being a jobsworth and a total and utter pr!ck in my opinion, I would have let him call SS and see what happened, or would have asked the store assistant to bring the paperwork out to the car for signature.

The world has gone mad.

Psammead · 14/03/2011 12:07

beesimo sorry that you had a traumatic experience. Really I am. But the OP was by the car the whole time. It's not the same.

Reality he obviously has a future in the A-team.

Claz and Mickey it's just what AIBU does to people, I think!! There are so many odd opinions on here sometimes.

TandB · 14/03/2011 12:08

Beesimo - you described a situation where you left babie sleeping in a car for up to an hour. Presumably you did not sit and watch them for that whole time. You were alerted to smoke pouring into the car by the barking of a dog.

The OP was a short distance away in line of sight of her vehicle. The situation is completely and totally different and I am surprised you cannot see that. If smoke had begun pouring into her car then she would presumably have removed her child immediately.

boyscomingoutofmyears · 14/03/2011 12:11

Actually, I just remembered something. A couple of weeks ago I visited my elderly Grandma with my 3 month old. He was asleep when we arrived so I left him in his pram in the hall, I could even see him from where I was sat in the livingroom, my Mum walked in and had a huge go at me for doing that as the front door was unlocked and someone could have kidnapped him . What is it with some people?!?!

lovenamechange100 · 14/03/2011 12:12

beesimo sorry just read whole thread, thats must have been truly awful for you.

whoneedssleepanyway · 14/03/2011 12:14

I think it is in our nature to worry about our children/ grandchildren and this can spiral out of control...I know I have been guilty of this (worrying about DDs getting kidnapped from their beds on a villa holiday and they are in the next room to us).....

I think you just have to try and keep a bit of perspective on things.....

whoneedssleepanyway · 14/03/2011 12:15

PS Beesimo re-reading my post I don't mean to be coming across harshly, I really truly can only imagine how horrible that was for you, my point is more that the OP was aware of the risk of leaving a child in the car and was watching it the whole time to mitigate that.

beesimo · 14/03/2011 13:14

On the day in question I had parked up in front of the kitchen window went straight into kitchen with shopping put kettle on looked out of kitchen window thought whats Monty playing up for. he was kept on a long chain ran out about 5 ft from car could clearly see the kids in the car. Ran a sink full of water thought what the hell is up with that dog. No smoke or flames nothing to see no cause for alarm I had been parked up for 5 mins max or am I kidding myself was it nearer ten?? Went out to tell Monty off didn't want him to wake bairns. Smells like someones burning something OH Christ its the car still no flames tiny bit of smoke when I opened the door full of toxic fumes from the electic fault smouldering got our S out lost control of hands couldn't get Ms belt undone screaming screaming screaming bairns like dead lambs. I got him out husband got them breathing ok took them to hospital in two days had to have tests for brain damage ect. Me saying over and over again but I could see them. I know I banging on but a car is like nothing else you leave them in it could of been my bairns tomb.

HalfPastWine · 14/03/2011 13:27

Pity they don't have the same security in Morrisons. Last summer I returned to my car to find a baby asleep in the car next to mine. The window was wound a third way down. I stopped and looked around the car park to see if mum/dad had nipped to take the trolley back. I waited a further 10 mins and still no one! There were no security guard/trolley collectors to be seen so I called the local police station because I was absolutely raged at this point. The police advised me there was nothing they could do unless I was ringing to advise them I'd witnessed an abduction. Minutes later a man returned to the car. I couldn't hold back and ripped into him about what he had done and the possible consequences. I was met with unbelievable verbal abuse and he got into his car and started to drive off. I continued to shout at him and he stopped the car, got out and ran at me (at this point I almost crapped myself!) and screamed into my face to mind my own business.
It took me ages to calm down afterwards.

WhatWillSantaBring · 14/03/2011 13:40

I think you have to make a judgement call in these situations. In a garage I think it's safer to leave DD in the car than to walk across the forecourt wtith her, ditto at the supermarket collecting / returning trollies. Given you could see her and it's winter, YANBU but if it were a warm summer's day, that's not so clear.

HecateTheCrone · 14/03/2011 13:44

I think you were not being unreasonable because you were standing right there, in the doorway, watching the car and it is not a hot (Or even warm!) day.

Of course, you should never leave a baby in a car when you can't see them and never ever on a hot day.

HecateTheCrone · 14/03/2011 13:48

bees that's awful.

But it is different. If you had been standing a few feet away, in a doorway, you would have smelt the burning straight away. The reason you didn't see what was happening was because you were inside the house. It is different.

Horrible, horrible lesson for you though. I'm really sorry you and your children went through that.

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