to think if you have a filthy, stinking cold you should stay at home and not ask to visit someone with a 5 month old baby

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We see the PILs reasonably often, every 2-3 weeks.

Due to see them on Friday and FIL phones DH to say he has a 'bit of a cold' but could they come anyway as MIL keen to see ds.

DH feels bounced into saying ok to visit. It turns out FIL has stinking cold and spends the entire visit coughing, sneezing, groaning and literally dripping snot on everything.

Two days later Dh has a sore throat, I am sneezing and ds is miserable. We are all getting it. Gah.

So, AIBU to think that if you are ill you should stay at home and not ask to visit and spread your germs around?

YANBU, that is so selfish.

Yanbu. Colds can become bronchilitus in babies. I spent two weeks in hospital with dd who had that and it was awful. They should have stayed away.

I have to agree that they should stay away, as ds3 is now 5 months old and has had bronchiolitis recently, which has meant him having to use an inhaler & him getting very distressed.

Argh, now I am worried as well as pissed off!

Hope your LO is feeling better prozac.

YABU... you're far more likely to have caught your cold taking change off a shop assistant than you are from someone 'dripping with snot'. The cold virus is not airborne but transferred by touch and the incubation period is longer than 2 days.....

From the NHS website

"A cold can be spread through:
direct contact: for example, if you sneeze or cough, tiny droplets of fluid containing the cold virus are launched into the air and can be breathed in by others
indirect contact: for example, if you sneeze onto a door handle and someone else touches the handle a few minutes later, they may catch the cold virus if they then touch their mouth or nose
It is thought that a person first becomes contagious 2-3 days before their symptoms begin and remains contagious until their symptoms have passed. So most people will be contagious for around two weeks.
The worse your symptoms are, the more contagious you will be. As your symptoms improve, you become less contagious."

Sorry for such a long quote!

Oh and I don't think YABU.

Stand corrected on the airborne reference.... but what are we supposed to do practically? Avoid all human contact or being in the same air-space as other people for the winter months entirely? Quarantine ourselves for two whole weeks every time we get a sore throat or a sniffle? Ridiculous

I know it is difficult isn't it!

But practically speaking, i think it is courteous to let someone know how ill/snotty you are before visiting, so that you can give someone the option of saying they'd rather avoid your bugs.

YANBU

My Mum lives up the road and we pop round to each others fairly often. However if one of us has a cold we phone first to check its ok to visit. She doesnt want to give my 2 young DC a cold nor do I want to give her one as her health is poor.

If we both have colds then it doesnt matter and we all drip snot together.

Its just polite!

You don't have to avoid all human contact, I would just stay away from babies.

Quite, intentionally visiting others when ill is selfish.

YANBU.

This has really pissed me off recently.

DD is 5 weeks, last weekend my aunt and cousin were visiting my nan. I met them up there and cousin said she wasn't well and my aunt said she had a cold coming. I said she couldn't hold DD then. I was pressured into giving in (and stupid me did give in, on 2 days). 2 days later, poor DD has cold and a horrible cough.

I am at myself for not sticking my ground but I am even more at my aunt and cousin for putting me in that position and not respecting my wishes.

I will know for next time however.

Oh and now DS (3) is getting a cough and DH doesn't sound great either.

I know you can't avoid all human contact when you have a cold but to purposely visit someone when you know you have a bad one and play down just how bad it is is really selfish IMO. FIL clearly knew you wouldn't like it which is why he didn't make it out to be as bad as it was.

YANBU

Of course you can get the cold from a shop assistant, or the postman, but you are only in contact with them for moments.

The chance of contracting a cold from someone who spends an hour or so visiting, in close contact, is much higher.

Thanks for the replies. I can now be grumpy and pissed off with a clear conscience

Bless you.

Hmmmm, YANBU and YABU, I think...

Personally, I wouldn't visit a baby household if I had a cold virus. I called off a visit last week as I didn't want to be responsible for giving my friend's little one my bug. I would also be a bit if someone turned up at my house with a bad cold.

However, your baby WILL catch a cold and you won't be able to control it. It is unavoidable. And good for the immune system! according to MIL

I had a birthday party a couple of weeks ago. Hubby had had flu the previous week, but was much better. Hence me going ahead. But to be cautious, I told a friend this (who is pregnant), and she never came, to play it safe.

One really just needs to be thoughtful and not think of what YOU want. I missed out on seeing my pal for my birthday (and I haven't seen her for aaaaages), but her pregnancy health comes first.

Why couldn't MIL come by herself and FIL stay in bed???

YANBU yes you could pick up a cold anywhere but for someone to deliberately come into your house ill especially when you have a small baby is beyond selfish.