To think that actually my pals parents may be right about this..

[cherrychoo]

But of course i would never say this to her.

They come to her house and they try to clean & de clutter for her. They tell her that she will really have to consider a huge clear out and cleaning session...with thier help.

She has a small baby and she & her dh i suppose are hoarders and live in clutter and chaos.
for example, on a low coffee table in the living room, they have 4 pots with pens and scissores and nail files strewn around.
There are piles of "stuff" every where, on every stair, at the side of the sofa and chairs, on every surface, just stuff everywhere.

Baby will be crawling and moving round soon, but they dont seem to be aware of the possible dangers. So her mum has told her. She didnt take offence but just shrugged off the comments.

Bless them, they have put the little corner protectors for tables on the coffee table, but dont appear to see the clutter at all.
You have to move shed loads of stuff to find a small spot on the sofa to sit down...

So while i "think" her mum & dad are right, i wouldnt dream of saying anything ever.

yanbu, but i'm sure she will eventually work this out for herself once her baby does start moving and grabbing everything

No, i was there when her mum was saying this stuff.

Its just that EVERY one has an opinion, EVERYONE wants to tell you how to do things and i dont want to be another one of those people.

What does she do all day apart from look after the baby? Is she terribly creative, finishing off a work of art, dissertation, studying for her master's degree? Is she an avid reader? Is she happy and looking after herself ifyswim. Sounds as if she is surrounded by loving concern. If the little one is well looked after and the place is not unhygenic then it's not too much of a problem at the moment. Take your point regarding the baby becoming more mobile in the near future and therefore encountering hazards. That point can be made quite lightheartedly to your friend in all sorts of ways to raise her/his awareness...

I agree

living in squalor is a form of neglect

Is the baby kept clean, is it well-fed, do they take it out and about for fresh air?

If you are concerned ring her HV, if you know the clinic she uses

There is a difference between a heavily cluttered house and living in squalor!

My house was never this clutter free before I had a baby, simply because it didn't need to be.

Although be warned: Don't ever open a cupboard or drawer in my house! The clutter isn't really gone, it's just hiding

Do you have a toddler? If so take them round and let them watch the destruction they cause and highlight all the dangers.

OH NO! Baby is absolutely adored, loved and looked after, my frineds whole reason for life is her baby. She goes to baby massage, and play groups and walks with the baby every day. I cant stress this enough!

Also bluddy, i havent seen any other thread so dont know what you mean.

I think she will see for her slef when baby becomes mobile, so wont be aware until she is in the situation iyswim.

She is on mat leave so has all baby stuff to do, but to be honest, the house was very much like this way before they were even trying for a baby.
Its the way they live.

Our house used to be pretty cluttered and we didn't really clear stuff until it presented a danger. We just moved things as DS could reach them. I'm sure your friends will do the same.

I'd have been pretty pissed off if someone had started nagging me to do it and implying that I didn't care about my child.

Actually, I think baby will be fine. I have known families like this, they either clear stuff at the last possible moment, or they don't. Even if they don't just pens and nail fails etc aren't that dangerous in themselves, particularly if child is generally well cared for and supervised and it's not dirty (so baby's not going to eat mouldy food or wahtever) - just cluttered.

I would try not to worry about it too much to be completely honest.

I think yabu actually. Third, fourth etc -born babies are exposed to similar hazards. If they adore the baby, they'll be watching her carefully and will soon find out which things to move out of baby's reach.

I lived like this until Ds1 was 6 months old.

And within a WEEK of him crawling, there was a baby gate on every door (including kitchen) and everything remotely hazardous was placed on high shelves.

i went from sweeping weekly to sweeping daily.

not because I turned into a neat freak, but because, like your friend, I ADORED my baby and simply hadn't thought to remove the hazards BEFORE they were hazards because I didn't see the point. I knew that he would never start crawling without me seeing what he was doing because I was glued to his side, mithering him for mummy cuddles.

Maybe your friend is the same =- she won't deal with a problem until it is actually a potential problem, instead of dealing with it because if circumstances change (ie baby crawls) it will be a problem.

In your friend's situation, I'd let the parents get on with whatever they thought was necessary though, I love other people tidying for me