I wouldn't go as far as to say my parents are neat-freaks, but they are both retired and have a nice home and plenty of time to keep it to the standards that they choose.
I'm a lone parent, with a one-toddler-demolition-crew 22m old, and I'd be the first to admit that I am the Clutter Queen (not as bad as I used to be mind!). My home is not dirty, a hoover a couple of times a week, every night all the toys get put away, the washing up is (usually) done daily and the kitchen cleaned and wiped down. Most of the housework is done when DD is in bed (I see little point in tidying away toys when DD is going to tip them out again in 5 minutes). Basically you'd be hard-pressed to find anything dangerous in my house, but you also won't find a show-home.
Whenever my parents come round, they always seem to find something out of place, stuff piled on the sofa, a teatowel on the kitchen floor, some 'shoemud' on the hall carpet from DD's wellies, plastic fish under the sofa, half-unpacked bag of shopping, pile of washing-up waiting to be done etc etc etc..... which always prompts my mum to say something like "are you struggling to keep on top of the housework?" or "oh, I see you've worked your magic in here" or "I wouldn't leave the kitchen like that, I like a clean kitchen" or "I wouldn't do anything else if I had that to do".
I try and try to explain that sometimes I'm busy with DD, we're doing activities, I'm cooking, etc etc etc. Of course its always midday when they come round so there is always some chaos - they don't see it in the evenings when I've had chance to do everything. I wanna make the most of the time I get with DD and not leave her alone all the time cos I'm buffing the bath taps/massaging the worktops/polishing the cat.
So sometimes I get a bit defensive, gently mind - I've not actually gone as far as to say "back off" but I've gently indicated that I'm aware of what needs doing and will get round to it - although this is usually met with "well I don't understand why you don't just do it".
Recently they've started indicating that its not a healthy environment for DD, and she might "end up like me". I don't like them saying that, like I'm some kind of slovenly squalor-dweller.
My mum's fave line is "our home was never like this when you were DD's age" - I have pointed out to her that my dad was also there when not at work so she did have more toddler-free time than I do.
And yes, I know I'm an undomesticated nightmare, its totally not my area! But I'm also not a dangerous mum!
Basically, I do now what needs doing now, and leave the rest for later - my mum does EVERYTHING now, but also has the time to do that.
AIBU to be a little defensive - and think its not that big a deal?
Blimey - thanks for reading - that turned into a rant! I feel much better now! 