To still be angry and upset?

[SquishyBumsMum]

(sorry this is so long)
I gave birth 6 months ago to my beautiful and healthy DS, the birth was horrible, and terrifying and no one has ever taken this seriously apart from DP.

Basically my waters broke at 39 weeks after a sweep that was given because of worries about my sky-rocketing blood pressure. On the first call to the hospital they told me to stay at home and not call again until contractions were coming thick and fast even though I'd been told by my midwife (who was now out of the country) that I would need to be monitored because of my blood pressure from the minute contractions started.

So after about 12 hours my DP took me in anyway because I was in pain and stressing myself out because I thought I should be monitored. The midwives were extremely annoyed that we'd shown up but checked me anyway and found that DS's heartbeat was erratic and my blood pressure was extremely raised. They then proceeded to tell me off because I should have demanded monitoring and my waters breaking early meant a risk of infection, I felt like crying. So they monitored me for a couple of hours, things calmed down and they sent me home, telling me to come back when either my contractions were coming more often or it had been 24 hours since my water had broken.

24 hours came first so we called and they reluctantly let us come in only to find my blood pressure raised so they put me in the ward while they found a consultant. On the ward I was never once checked for dilation as the ancient machine couldn't pick up the contractions I could most definitely feel.
Eventually they took me to the labour ward to get me on a drip and induce me. A very lovely midwife checked me, found that I was 6cm dilated and was horrified that no one had yet checked my cervix.

However she soon went home when the shifts changed and I got a midwife who had never worked in this hospital before she was just helping out. She put the drip in so badly that it tissued and instead of delivering the drugs/IV fluid into my vein it went straight into soft tissue making my arm swell up and go numb. She then got someone else to put it in my other arm who tutted at the "botch job" as she put it of her colleague.

At this point she gave instructions as to when the dosage should be increased, once she left my midwife ignored this and cranked it up saying "let's get this going a bit quicker". My contractions then came so fast that there was no break in between them, and I ended up having to have an epidural because I was getting too stressed and my blood pressure again went up.

After about 3-4 hours of being on the drip my DP noticed that the babies heartbeat had slowed down a lot and mentioned that no one had examined me so the MW had a look and just said.. "there's babies head..."
At this point she panicked, ran into the corridor and within 2 minutes the room had 8 people in it, and a massive machine which I was told was to resuscitate DS if I managed to push him out. A doctor quickly appeared and told them it was too late, I'd have to be taken to theatre.

At this point DP lost it and just told them to give me a chance. With two massive pushes and some tearing DS was born, blue, with a cord around his neck. He was fine within a couple of minutes and wailing nicely.

Ok so I know it all ended up ok, but I lost feeling in my arm for about 3 weeks due to the messed up IV which contributed to my extreme difficulty in breast feeding and no one from the hospital ever acknowledged that the 39 hours from waters breaking to birth was a complete comedy of errors.

I was also then sent up to the ward, still unable to feel my legs properly and when I asked for help to walk to the bathroom was just told they were too busy and I'd have to cope, which led to me falling over halfway down a corridor and unable to get up again.

So AIBU to still feel angry and upset about this? Yes it all ended up ok, but I feel like so many things could have gone wrong because of their negligence.

YANBU that sounds awful. If people don't complain then things won't change for the better. To say that 'you're fine, your babies fine' is unreasonable Maylee

Squishy... It's a shame that you can't get the hospital board to make an official 'Inquiry' into what happened, or can you?

I'm generally a big fan of 'move on and forget it', but not over something like this. With such lax conditions and standards of pstient care, this will happen again and again (and worse) if it isn't checked and complained about now.

Could your GP advise you on protocol and perhaps give you some pointers for your letter and to whom it should be sent?

I think after all the responses I'll definitely complain but does anyone know the best way to go about this? And how would I go about getting the official records from the birth?

I don't think its necessarily a letter to complain but just to get all of your feelings out on paper is incredibly therapeutic in itself. To avoid being patronised you should let the reciever know where it has been cc'ed so that they are more likely to take it seriously rather than a standard patronising type reply. Do some research into who the heads of department are, head of trust, health visitor etc.

Being treated in the way you have been, makes you feel less of a person and that you are not important. Its also an incredibly dismissive attitude to rule out someones trauma on the premise that the baby is ok- not just from people on here but by the hospital itself.

Good luck

you can request a copy of the birth notes in advance of writing the letter btw. This request is normally made in writing.

Sounds like alot of births to me. Doubt you will get anywhere with a complaint letter but I do think it would do you good from an emotionanl perspective to write it.

Squishy... I'd ask my GP for the way to go. You can get hold of any information held about yourself and I think that has to be requested in writing to whomever deals with freedom of information requests.

Your GP should be able to advise you on all the points you need to include and where it should go. You definitely want a response; to write a letter that's not intended to be sent isn't going to do anything for your soul and it won't help you. You deserve answers and a proper response and assurance that this is not going to happen again.

Appalling care and sadly this doesn't surprise me. If you are planning on ever having another i would ask to go to a different hospital if i were you. That's what i did with my second after rubbish care at the place where I had my first. Second experience was so much better. Sorry you had to go through this

If I were you I would look at the AIMS website (assoc for improvement of midwifery services). They have template letters for people to use to make complaints etc. I downloaded a wonderful one about my legal right to a homebirth and within 48 hours I had the head of midwifery calling to tell me all the plans they had to facilite my wishes.
Sometimes it is REALLY important to make a fuss because people know that 9 times out of ten if someone is made to feel foolish about complaining they will back down.

You have a very valid reason to complain. Do it!

You have very clearly noted down all the facts already and with a little effort it will make a very clear letter demonstrating where the hospital failed in it's care for you. Don't let them give you a 'well, you've got a healthy baby' brush off!

So sorry to hear you went through this OP. YADNBU. I had a shit time with my first, 2nd wonderful, but when I realised I was pg with my 2nd I couldn't stop crying, literally non-stop, even though the pg was planned. Sheila Kitsinger (Kitzinger?) has written some good books which helped me a lot at the time. the 2nd hospital sent me for counselling and that was an enormous help, though I would have preferred to be in counseling when I wasnt pg but I didn't realise how badly the first delivery had affected me until I got pg again, I just tried to get on with it the first time. The counsellor said she would like to poke the obstetrician in the eyes for what she did to me and that helped a lot!

It's very hard to make a complaint as they close ranks and it becomes coldly official, which is the last thing you need first off - you need someone supportive to give you the time and space to tell your story. The NHS are reluctant to apologise as that leaves the door wide open to litigation which they will do all they can to avoid. The wrongly administered IV could be a legitimate starting point (not that all the points aren't legitimate, but this was a clear medical error) and you can add on the other points behind that? I don't know if PALS would be a good starting point - you need someone to hear you, to take seriously what you have to say, and PALS do that and show you where you can go next.

You are not being unreasonable - birth trauma is common, sadly, and we need to speak out if we have been subjected to poor treatment, as you were. Different hospital next time OP.

got to give you a HUG!

I had a horrific birth and I wrote to the hospital (Chief Executive) stating my complaints and a full investigation was carried out. The Dr has been found negligent and I am suing and the trust has made some changes to it's policy. If people don't complain then changes don't happen and things will keep on going wrong for women. Write to the chief executive raising your concerns i.e. why were you told to stay at home when your MW had said you should be monitored? Mention the attitude of the staff on discovering your raised BP was appalling as you had previously mentioned that you needed monitoring.
Why did it take so long for you to have your cervix checked for dilation and what is there policy on this?
What checks were made that the MW looking after you (that put IV line up and disregarded the other MW's instructions) had the correct qualifications and extended roles necessary to carry out cannulation and IV medication? What is the trust policy on agency staff and the procedures they can carry out? IV lines can tissue and this doesn't necessarily mean it was put in wrong however, regular checks should have been made on you and on the drip. Can you remember how often a MW was taking your obs and checking that line? If you can and it wasn't hourly ask the trust what their policy is on regular observations on people with syntocyn.
Ask them what there policy is on length of time, post epidural, that patients are moved to the wards? State that you could not walk properly and despite being a falls risk was left alone to walk and that you did indeed fall. Ask them for their policy on falls risk patients and what care should be made to decrease the likely hood of a patient at risk of falling.
Hope some of that helps. It could probaly be written better but I'm tired.

I think you need to go to your GP and say how difficult you are finding it to get over the birth and they should send you for some counselling. I too kept thinking 'I'm alive, DS alive so I should get over it' unfortunately sometimes you need a little bit of help to get over traumatic events.

Thankyou so much everyone, having thought about it I'm going to take your advice and see my GP and see what they say. It's not that I want a massive fuss, just some acknowledgement that they didn't provide the level of care that they should have.
Happy I think I may be writing those points down to take with me haha, would make a good starting point for questions :D

After a similar experience with DS1 I couldn't shake the thoughts of what had gone wrong. It was traumatic and I spoke to my HV who was surprisingly helpful. She contacted the head midwife for me and she came to my house to discuss what happened and to go through my notes with me. There were discrepancies with what happened and what was stated to have happened.

Until you discuss this with someone you can't move on, you need to be listened to. Yes, my DS was/is perfectly beautiful and healthy but I still couldn't shake the issues of the birth experience.

Btw, DS2 was easy, perfect birth.

OP do write down points as sometimes just asking and getting answers to questions can help you move forward. Your GP may not be able to help you directly though so I would still write to the hospital. I'm a nurse and it has changed my view of things and really shaken my world. I hope you get the answers you want and also the help to move forward. If you need any help with a letter to the Chief Exec PM me as I think I still have mine knocking about somewhere and it was written by a solicitor. tends to shake them up a bit and give you a more accurate story than if obviously written by a lay person.