To think my friends cat is thought of more by other friend than my baby?

[breakfastbiscuit]

Friends cat took unwell yest and had to have a minor op. My 4 mo baby took unwell last night and we had to take a trip to hospital. Both cat and baby now home. Just noticed a gushing message on face book from mutual friend on cat friends wall asking how everything was and " you know where I am if you need me" but no message about my baby!

I'm prob being really childish but it has hurt me, i talked to friend last night so she knew how worried I was :(

Does the mutual friend know your child has been unwell? Maybe they didnt want to tell the world of facebook about your child. Some people get a bit precious about those sort of things you know

Yes she knew, I'm not bothered about getting some big gushing public message obv, but a text would have been nice seeing as she was on her phone anyway.

Alternatively, some people prefer cats to babies.

I know I do.

Even if they have babies themselves but not cats?

That is a bit weird I can understand why you would be upset I would be to.

I really hope your baby is feeling better now breakfastbiscuit.

Sometimes especially if they have babies.

YANBU

Personally I wouldn't put a message on facebook about an ill baby. I would be too worried that the baby might end up being really ill and a facebook message would look extremely crass. But I would do a facebook message about an ill cat. Its actually because I think the baby is more important that I would do this.

Also if your friend with a cat is single and you have a partner I would understand your friend offering the cat friend help but not you. They are not always right, but people tend to assume that if you have a partner you may not need help.

You talked to your friend last night about the baby. If I was your friend I would ring you at some point today to see how your baby was. But I wouldn't put such an important question on a text.

I'm not saying your friend is like me; but I would behave exactly like your friend because I think the baby is more important.

Unless you are one of those people who rush your baby to a and e at the first sign of a sniffle. ApologiesI know you probably aren't. But I used to work with someone like this who would take their baby or child to a and e for things I wouldn't even have taken them to the GP for. I'm afraid everyone in the office lost sympathy or even interest in the health of his children.

yabu

I find it a bit naff to post about babies/dc illnesses on fb walls. Maybe your friend thought the same?

Peoples pets are their children, so its obvious they are going to think more of their pet than your child which is nothing to do with them, and is only known by association.

It's not unusual. Sorry but my dog is more important to me than my friends child.

Another reason people would be hesitant to mention a child or even an adults illness on facebook is because you can almost always guarantee that one family member will get the hump if they read about it on facebook and get huffy that you havent rang them to tell them about it and your friends knew and they didnt... with a pet there isnt normally the same amount of oneupmanship to getting news..

I wouldn't be too upset by it, if I were you. As long as your baby is ok (which I sincerely hope for you!) that's much more important than the netiquette of FB.

Your friend wouldn't have meant anything by it. She's your mate!

Yes I agree that posting on facebook about other people's children can be a bit of a minefield. I just wouldn't do it.

I would never post anything about someone's child on their FB wall unless it was in response to something they had posted themselves. They don't know for usre that you want to broadcast to the world about your baby's health. I certainly wouldn't post anything about my children's health on there. They have a right to privacy.

Fabbychic, the friend with the cat did not write herself a message asking how her own cat was, It was a mutual friend who sees my baby as much as friends cat.

Thanks for replys everyone, it's not fb message I am bothered about but a text to see how my baby is from a friend who knew she was I'll would have been nice.

have you texted your friend to let her know your dc is ok? Maybe she doesnt want to put her foot in it incase your dc is very ill.

It goes both ways