I feel like a wicked step mum!!

[babybumpx]

Ok im having a little rant as im slightly annoyed with DP my DSS woke up this morning, my DP went to get some weetabix for my DSS who is 2 and a half and there wasnt any, I had forgotten to get them yesterday (I am Pregnant) my DSS screamed the house down because thats what he has every morning, that or porridge, the alternatives were blueberry Jam on toast and honey cluster special K, he loves jam on toast but my partner pandered to his screaming and was going to buy some weetabix from the shop!!!

I have a DS already who is 6 and if he done that I would not of given in, I give him his options and if that wasnt good enough I would have left it on the table so when he has calmed down he will eat it.

I feel like such a MATRON! with my DSS as his granda and Auntie always pander to him, they allow him to demand what he wants and give it to him, they allow him to go through their handbags to find mints, I personally think it not appropriate as I would not allow my son to do it.

As it happens my DSS has eaten All his jam on toast and is now a happy boy, so was I right or wrong??

We need to get this right as with my first DS of course its your first child and you just want to make them happy which i did and it resulted in him being a little demanding which has now nearly stopped as ive changed the way we do things

Phew thats me finished....bringing up children is the hardest and most important thing you will ever do ( I feel ) I just want to get it right.

Please give advice xx

you don't need any advice on that. you did the right thing. no question. [impressed]

you do need advice on how to get through to your partner that you don't pander to a child unless your aim is to raise a first class brat!

Not a step mum but am a wicked, mean bio mum

yanbu IMO and nobody likes a brat

I personally feel you're right to feel annoyed , but it isn't the child's fault , its the dads . I think children need to learn they can't have every thing they want or demand . Funnily enough I had a similar situation with my dss who is 14 last week. There was 'nothing to eat for breakfast ' when blatantly there was no change from what he was eating for breakfast throughout the week . He just wanted an item off limits . He strooped and we left him to it . He went without , but at that age that was his choice .

I think perhaps you need to discuss the situation with you partner . I feel the rules you set for one child in the house should be used for all . As you said , your dss was happy after having toast . Use that in your example . If the rules are set for your children too , then you are not bring an evil step mum , just a fair one .

No you're not an evil stepmum, you're a sensible stepmum and the main point is you were acting the same way as you would with your own child :)

Thank you....:) we didnt have any disagreement about it, he just felt mean not having what his son wanted, like you all say he needs to learn that in life you cant always have what you want and its not the end of the world, I just feel like im the one with all the rules and boundaries and my partner always looks to me for advice on what the best thing to do is, it all needs to be balanced with lots of praise for the good and boundaries put in for controlling inappropriate behaviour, thats another thing, I feel like a control freak sometimes but I know how us parents can get it wrong so easily as I wasnt exactly the best behaved child in the world in fact quite the opposite and ended up in some serious trouble, so I want the best start for our children and that starts with knowing how to behave and to be unconditionally loved.

Anyway thank you for your advice, much appreciated xx