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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not let dd1 aged 4 have her hair cut short?

22 replies

Dawnybabe · 11/03/2011 21:14

She's got golden brown hair nearly down to the small of her back. It's gorgeous and I will be gutted if she wants it all cut off.

We're off to my hairdressers tomorrow and she's got it into her head that she wants a bob like her friends. But I don't want her to look just like every other little girl in school, I want her to love her beautiful long hair!

I know it's her hair but I'm afraid she doesn't realise that mummy can't reattach it if she doesn't like it and I don't want tears and upset.

Am I being daft?

OP posts:

WishIWasRimaHorton · 11/03/2011 21:16

Yes

supersewer · 11/03/2011 21:17

think how good it will be for her hair, it will give it a chance to thicken up and she will probably look really cute

worraliberty · 11/03/2011 21:20

It's up to you..you're the parent and she's only 4!

LadyBiscuit · 11/03/2011 21:20

It's her hair, not a finger

squeakytoy · 11/03/2011 21:22

You might not want her to look like all the other girls, but SHE does, and she wants to fit in. Her hair will grow.

PigValentine · 11/03/2011 21:23

I thought you were considering getting it cropped short short - I know it would be her choice, but my sister demanded "boy" haircuts when they were little and for years since whinged about the fact that they were allowed to have it done, and that they looked odd in photos - in their little party dresses and inch long hair! I on the other had had long hair until my teens, and it is really fine, I wish I'd had it cut shorter - little bobs are adorable, and it would be really practical for school.

pinktransit · 11/03/2011 21:23

I'd go for a small trim: my dd aged about 7 wanted her long hair cut short. We agreed on a compromise and she had about 4 inches cut off.... she cried for days :(

Agree that if she is ok with a couple of inches being taken off, then she can have more cut off next time. I'd really go slowly though.

PigValentine · 11/03/2011 21:23

that should have been sisters

maras2 · 11/03/2011 21:24

It'll save you a fortune in nit stuff.

cece · 11/03/2011 21:28

I was exactly the same. I didn't 'let' DD have hers cut off till she was 8! I now love it in a short bob - looks cute. Plus it is sooooo much easier for me.

exoticfruits · 11/03/2011 21:40

She can always grow it long again at a later date, if she wants to.

mmsmum · 11/03/2011 21:42

Go slowly! Ask the hairdresser to take off an inch at a time (less if she is small) and you might find that she will say stop before it gets too short, but if not you will know that she is happy with where it is. There is nothing worse than going straight in and slicing off a whole lot.

Remember, you can't put it back on but you can always take more off!

nectarina · 11/03/2011 21:45

I don't think people should take their kids hair so seriously. Let her do what she wants - I think its good she's got her own ideas about what she wants to do. Don't treat your girl like your own barbie.

RumpelstiltskinsHat · 11/03/2011 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSmallClanger · 11/03/2011 21:47

Shorter hair on a 4yo is easier to manage. Please don't obsess over her hair - it is only hair, and it is her hair.

MorticiaAddams · 11/03/2011 21:49

Ask them to do it bit by bit and show her what it looks like each time. If she starts to panic then the hairdresser can always stop and no harm done.

hidenseek · 11/03/2011 21:51

I think it would be sensible to let her have a smaller (but still significant) cut this time, just to let her get used to the idea that the hair will take time to grow back to where it was before if that's what she decides she wants. At four, she may struggle to 'get' this without it being a reality.

You will need to follow through on it though, if you tell her she will be able to choose the extent of the cut next time, don't go back on it.

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 11/03/2011 21:55

Hmmm, think the general consensus is that I ought to let her cut a bit off. Oh well, perhaps it will ease us both in gently.

OP posts:

CointreauVersial · 11/03/2011 21:55

Lovely to have shorter hair for the summer....

Agree with mnsmum - ask hairdresser to take it off in stages.

DD2 was the same, but as soon as she got into the chair she totally chickened out!

wellwisher · 11/03/2011 21:57

Your child is not a doll. YABU.

Takver · 11/03/2011 22:10

I'm not sure bobs are easier. From a purely practical viewpoint I think there's a lot to be said for longer hair that can be tied back or plaited. Whereas a bob (at least with dd - painful voice of experience) looks nice when carefully brushed & clipped back, but falls in the face/gets messy etc.

MangoTango · 11/03/2011 22:16

I think that once it is past the shoulders people perceive it as long hair whether it is just past the shoulders or down to the small of the back and you can still do plaits etc. I'd let her have it cut just past the shoulders and then if she still wants it shorter she can have a bob next time.

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