to think it's a bit silly to think a 13 month old is capable of being jealous of their baby sister's present?

[thedogsswollocks]

Another thread kind of reminded me of this, so thought I'd ask what you all think..

My friend gave birth a few months ago to a DD - her DS was only 13 months old.

I went round to visit them and took a present for the baby, a gift of a CD for the little boy (13 months) and a bottle of champagne for the parents.

I gave them the gifts and explained there was something in there for the DS too.

Anyway, they put the bag on the floor and didn't open it. A little while later her DH said "we won't open this now because we don't want DS to be jealous.

When I had my DD2 DD1 was 2 years old and lots of people brought things for just the baby and I still opened them and acknowledged them, said oh that's lovely, thank you very much.

Is it me or is it a bit silly to not open something in case a 13 month old - who has been given a present as well - gets jealous.

And, before anyone starts hurling insults - I don't give gifts to receive, but I do spend a lot of time thinking of gifts that I think people would like, and I do like to see them open them and enjoy them.

And as a final point I never received a thank you by word/email/card/text or anything else after they opened it!

I can see where you're coming from, but yab a tiny bu. It's up to them to manage the introduction of the new baby to the sibling (including how and when presents are opened), and they may well have been too busy and overwhelmed to write thank yous. With such a small age gap they may well have been extra anxious about sibling jealousy and the new baby. Try not to take it personally...

THanks lukewarm.

It's actually perfectly possible for a 13 month old to be jealous.

What he will be jealous of will be the attention.

He was the only one and had all the attention until the interloper came along.

A 13 month old can be very jealous indeed.

Sorry hecate, think you've miread the OP. It's about presents given equally, not attention given to one child over another

yanbu, this drives me bonkers.

I get where Hectates coming from lol

Bloody hell.Hecate sorry.Really have to stop being lazy and preview my posts

(Without knowing the family ) If the child's parents were concerned that he could or would be jealous then I'd respect their judgement on that one. I'd say it depends on the individuals.

I know of a similar situation, 13 months between sons and the first one definitely noticed whether his present was bigger and better than his younger brother's (and he did want a bigger / better present!)

YANBU about the jealousy thing. You took presents for both.. What's the problem?

They are making a rod for their own back. I have a friend who has 2 kids. Almost same age difference as you describe OP. On each child's birthday we have to buy both kids a present or my friend gets cross. She is very concern the kid whose birthday it isn't will be jealous and upset. Her mother has to buy them the same presents or there's a fall out.

I have 'quizzed' my friend about this after she sulked with me when I only took 1 present to her eldest's birthday party and took nothing forth younger child ( I wasn't being obtuse - I didn't know her expectations).

She thinks I am heartless. I think she is over sensitive and kids can accept other siblings having the main focus of attention for a birthday.

Thanks LionRock - this is news to me that a 13 month old is really aware of this kind of stuff. I guess I have been lucky with my children as never in a million years would this be an issue with mine!

Just to be clear - I don't think that giving both children a gift when one has a birthday is a good idea! It's setting up unrealistic expectations IMO, similar to there being no winners at school sports days. Not preparing kids for real life.

I don't know what the answer is but this post reminded me about the big brother with the same age diff who definitely was jealous...

thedogs... x-post - yeah I know it is a bit surprising. The disappointing thing is that the older son never grew out of it. He was the first grandchild on both sides of the family and grew up expecting to get more than his other siblings, cousins, everyone. Not his fault in a way, he was trained into it, but it definitely didn't do him any favours!

Wow, that's a bit scary lionrock!

I think it is possible for a 13 month old to be jealous. However I don't agree with buying a present for every child, so that no one feels left out.Sometimes it's their special day, other times it's their siblings turn to be treated. That's the way it is and the sooner they learn it the better.
Of course it was up to the parents to handle this issue the way they see fit but that was my approach.

no. I haven't misread the OP.

Your thread title said Am I being Unreasonable to think that a 13 month old is capable of being jealous of their baby sister's present.

and I said yes, a 13 month old is indeed capable of being jealous. what they will be jealous of will be the attention, not the gift.

Perhaps it is you who misunderstood my post.

Which was a reply to your opening question. Your 'AIBU' question.

"Is it silly to think that a 13 month old is capable of being jealous of their baby sister's present."

yes.

ARRRGGGGHHH

NO!

it's ~NOT silly. It IS possible.

Night Hecate

Yes. royally fucked all that up. Need to sleep.

But I am sure you got what I was saying.

Answering your thread title.

gibber gibber wibble

I was very tired and not making any sense at all!

You do get that what I was saying was that your thread title asked if you were being reasonable to think that it is a bit silly to think that a 13 month old is capable of being jealous of their sibling getting a gift, and it was that that I was responding to in my post, don't you