Does your MIL talk to you like this ?

[mamatomany]

Yesterday we were having a civilised conversation about my career and DH's plans for his business when announced if he did a certain thing she'd have a right go at him.
I saw red and jumped to his defense and suggested having a right go at a 42 year old was unacceptable and would she want to have a go at me too if I did the same, to which she answered I was being silly, I felt about 12.
I don't expect her to tip toe around me after 9 years but I don't expect quite the same bluntness I'd probably put up with from my own mother - but still not like iyswim.

Well Rebecca because he wasn't there for a start and I'm sure he would tell her to piss off in the nicest possible way if she had said anything to his face, so I've saved her from that fate at least.

LOL! I'm jealous because I wouldn't have the nerve to tell old-bag MIL off.

You should have clarified in your post that your husband wasn't there and you were discussing his plans in his absence.
I'd stick to discussing the weather with her in future, although I work and rarely visit my inlaws without my husband.

Reading the post back, I cannot decide if him being there or not makes any difference, but I have realised I can no longer see the word "unacceptable" without hearing Supernanny. It now sounds wrong to use it to other adults, like asking them if their diner was num-num, or telling them they need a time out

Lol I probably wasn't composed enough to use the actual word unacceptable more I cannot believe you've just said stutter stutter and will you be telling me off too ? That kind of thing, I was genuinely shocked she thought any of it was her business and even if she thought it was that she'd vocalise it.

Anyway she's well and truly cooked her own goose as a result.

god yeah, how dare she have an opinion on her childs life. Thats so like totally unacceptable because........

Nope I give up.

YABU she just said you were being silly and I agree with her,

In response to your post? - yes my mil talks to me like this. Is it unacceptable? - yes, do I put up with it? - unfortunatley yes but only for a quiet life. I dont do myself any favours though as I have been with dh for 11 years and it only seems to get worse. Were ybu? - maybe slightly over protective, let her voice her opinion to him and let him deal with it! She is his mother after all.

god yeah, how dare she have an opinion on her childs life - he's a hairy arsed 42 year old man ffs

And yes I suppose she can have an opinion, do I have to listen or agree with it no.
I asked if your MIL talks to you like you are a child, it would seem in your case you are happy with that arrangement, good luck to you.

Do you have sons OP?

Its shocking to you that mothers may talk about their children as if they were children, even when they are grown up?

Do you live under a rock?

I have one, I've decided he's going to be gay
My mother has two sons and smiles and nods to their faces and on the phone to them she is sweetness and light, best all round I'd say.
It's a different relationship isn't it ? With my daughters husbands/partners I'd be cautious about offering up my opinions, two penneth worth, maybe even more so with my sons wife/girlfriends/boyfriends.

is it mil bashing night on MN

In 9 years she hasn't done it before, so as this is the first time the old boot has talked about him like he's a twat who's just got sacked from his saturday job, it's come as a surprise. yes.

I have two (hopefully gay ) sons and a dd.

I hope I will be able to speak freely with my boys when they are adults and as for my DH, he and his mother (whom I get along great with btw) can discuss what the hell they like......a better response would have been to say 'well you can take it up with him'. I would stay out of it unless it's very serious, this approach has the added bonus of you looking good and innocent when they fall out

MrsBananaGrabber - there's talking freely though and being a nasty cow, implying DH wasn't capable and she needed to step in and "have a go" would you really do that ?

I have forewarned him Madame to which he's said well that's it then she's not coming so she's cooked her own goose and can bloody well stew in her juices now
If she lurks behind my bins I shall set the dogs on her, in fact I shall go and buy dogs especially for that purpose.

I think YABU probably. She is allowed to continue her relationship with her son and have her own opinions. Some people just talk like that and I would be inclined to think that the 'having a go' comment comes from deep feelings of love and protection. I don't think a 42 yr old needs anyone to defend him again his own mother, unless she has a history of unreasonable behaviour.

Having said all of that - I do agree that parents stepping in and 'having a go' at their middle aged children is probably best described as not useful, in most cases! I have learnt with my own PIL to share less of our lives with them now for fear of them having the need to step in and sort it out for us and then have to pretend that it was useful!

YABU and precious.

The way you talk about her makes you sound loathsome. Perhaps she just couldn't stand you any longer.

Well if that's the case Buzz, all my problems will be solved and I shalln't need the dogs, fingers crossed !

What buzz said. YABU

You might be a MIL one day..................